Posts Tagged ‘Nick Cannon’
Okay. So Mariah Carey popped out two babies and lost a bunch of weight. HOORAY!! Now she can go back to wearing slutty clothes that are way to young for her 40 something self.
That’s not my point… my point is she hates Kim Kardashian. Well, that’s how I’m reading this.
“I’m a real person, I’m not going to put on a fake face for Hollywood. Sometimes [Nick and I] make each other mad, that’s why we aren’t divorced after four months. I’m sorry, I’m just saying.”
She doesn’t actually say her name, but whenever you mention quickie divorce and sham marriages, you’re making fun of Kim K…it’s like the law now.
Oh and Mariah Carey also hates fat people, I guess? Or just herself fat??:
“I had a towel on in the tub. I’m not lying, I promise you! You think I would let Nick see me looking rancid like that?”
“Rancid”??? That’s a strong word homegirl. You had two babies in your uterus… I think you can gain some weight.
Of course I speak of the moment when Mariah Carey lost her shit on TRL…..
I’ve never seen Carson Daly look so confused and that’s shocking because he’s known to look like this from time to time.
So, anyway, Mariah Carey did that “meltdown” thing on national television again (because one should look bat shit crazy on TV at least every 10 years), but this time on Home Shopping Network because ya know?? She’s old now.
I actually watched that mash-up twice because that’s how funny it was to me. When Nick Cannon is the responsible parent, you know those kids will be on a reality show by their 13th birthday. Which fits into my schedule perfectly, so carry on Mariah!
Posted July 20, 2011on:
I didn’t realize the Travelocity gnome had so many friends and that they were all so talented.
Please tell me they are still on this show. I’m gonna need them to win. They are ALMOST as perfect as Prince Poppycock. And plus, Howie Mandel gave them a standing ovation and Nick Cannon made a prejudice comment.
For the win!
Was Savage Garden even around in 1987?? I don’t think so. I just wanted to pick an obscure band. Go with it.
Guess what Mariah Carey played when she popped out her twinsies???
Yup! She played her own music. A live version of “Fantasy”. I’m shocked those kids didn’t crawl their way back up the birth canal.
Nick Cannon wanted to clear up rumors and state that they did NOT play “We Belong Together” because that’s super ridiculous. “Fantasy” is a better soundtrack to the miracle of birth.
“Now my wife wanted to make sure that when the babies came out, that they came out not only to a Mariah Carey song, but a live performance from Mariah Carey — her Madison Square performance of ‘Fantasy’ — so they came out to a round of applause.”
I don’t mean to be rude… but that is gay. They might as well have thrown in a Mariah Cary/Cher remix.
Oh and just guess what gift her husband gave her for squeezing some kids out?? Nope, not those cute little kid charms, or not some flowers…. this!
I can’t….. I just can’t.
I hope my kid is down with some Barry Manilow because that’s what is playing in the delivery room when I give birth. (Manilow seems like he’d soothe a crying child)… or maybe Sade???
No, not unicorn. That may be better though.
I’m just gonna tell you because I know the anticipation is causing you to question what you are going to name your own children and is causing turmoil in your own life.
She named her daughter Monroe, because she’s creep-ily obsessed with Marilyn Monroe and every little girl needs a role model, and she named her son Moroccan (my parents are gonna be livid with that one) because she has a Moroccan themed room in her 9 bedroom penthouse in NYC.
SHE NAMED HER CHILD AFTER A BEDROOM!!!
If I named my twins after something in my bedroom I’d be stuck with Raymour and Flanigan
… or I’d have to have 5 kids and name them all the Backstreet Boys, which is kinda an awesome idea.
Rocco: What do you want to name our kids if we ever have any??
Boyfriend: I have no idea. I don’t think about it. Someone from the Yankees??
Boyfriend: You have names, don’t you?
Rocco: Yes. AJ, Nick, Howie, Brian, and Kevin… in case we accidentally have a 5th.
Boyfriend: Those are the Backstreet Boys.
Boyfriend: Let’s make sure you have the proper birth control. Forever.
.. in Water For Elephants.
I’ve never had less to write about today. My brain is just not functioning. Seriously. I just posted a picture of Nick Cannon groping his knocked up wife’s breasts on a cover of a magazine. You could threaten me with the doom of taking away my signed BSB picture unless I wrote something super hilarious, and I’d be forced to hand over that framed masterpiece. (And then my knees would buckle and I’d fall to the floor weeping.)
So, to pretend like my brain is working today… I will distract you all with Robert Pattinson.
Look at that smile. This movie comes out next Friday and I’m totally forcing someone to go see this with me.
Really?? Seriously?? This is so annoying…. no one in real life does this.
We get it. You’re excited to pop some babies out of your uterus, but it happens everyday, around the world, and you don’t seeing Jane Smith down the street posing like this.
I can’t wait until these babies are on planet earth, so the rest of us can stop being subjected to naked photos of Mariah and her husband, who is clearly trying to have sex with her mid-photo shoot.
Since I haven’t been home for a little bit and I haven’t been asking Mamadukes a million questions and annoying her with those million questions (sometimes I just can’t shut up and feel like I should entertain my parents relentlessly) I decided to aggravate her via The Revolution and via this picture.
Let’s just say Mamadukes doesn’t have the kindest words for Mariah Carey.
See you Saturday Mom.
1) Why is Nick Cannon there??
2) Bruno Mars… be more adorable.
3) I love his live performances… they always sound like songs I’ve never heard before.
4) Thank you JJon for brining this to my attention… I had no idea this was happening.
5)I love this guy…. I just want to date him for a few months. I don’t think he’s on drugs… that was just a one time occurrence.
That was a good performance. I like his throw backs… I think Big D would be on board with Bruno Mars. I gotta ask him.
It’s 12PM here in NY and the Disney Christmas Parade just started. I really hope Lee bear is on within 30 minutes because once Nick Cannon started talking I wanted to change the channel. And yes true, we have already seen Lee bear’s “Little Drummer Boy”, but seeing it on a big screen HD is much more exciting. Right?? Yes!
Disney World/Land truly does look like a magical place.
Anyway, Lee bear ra pum pum pummed his way through “Little Drummer Boy” (and into our hearts) and made it into not a boring song that makes me want to puncture my ear drums. He is also wearing that
great plaid jacket grey, boring jacket, but with the festive holiday scarf. AND HE HAS NO HAT!!! You can definitely tell that this was recorded weeks ago, because that fluffy head of hair was out and proud. *tear* I’ve missed it so much. *tear* This is my very own Christmas miracle.
Here is the video that leaked that we have all already seen a million times. Or maybe I just watched it a million times… whilst getting into the Christmas spirit.
Usually, “Little Dummer Boy” is slow and boring and I have no idea what it is about. I still have no idea what it’s about, but it makes me want to dance around in an ugly Christmas sweater.
Jesus would have liked Lee bear.
Click above for a treat.
P.S. And yes I just copied and pasted the original post and changed some things to make it look new. Sue me.
I like to reminisce about the day Lee bear, Jesus, and that two-timing Donald Duck all broke it down with some sick nasty dance moves. Donald Duck ruined everything.