Posts Tagged ‘Oprah’
Are You Dying To Know All Of Justin Bieber’s Favorite Things? Well, Good Because I Can Tell You What They Are
Posted July 27, 2012on:
It’s like Oprah’s favorite things, except we don’t get shit.
What I’m getting at is you are probably not going to react like this woman above. No aggressive clapping will happen unless you’re really into Step Brothers.
Way to make things super awkward Oprah!
This is clearly Oprah’s new tactic for the OWN Network— bring up uncomfortable and awkward topics to people probably carrying a gun on them. Ratings gold!!
Oprah, for some reason, was interviewing 50 Cent (I don’t know why this is happening because I’m not too sure as to what he is doing with his life) but she asks him why he named his dog Oprah and his cat Gayle.
HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT THE BIG O!!!
Notice how we haven’t heard from Lady Gaga recently?? Well, she needed to step into the spotlight and tell Oprah that to get in her creative world she can’t speak. *giant eye roll*
By the way, Lady Gaga’s mom (the woman who is not Oprah or Lady Gaga) looks like Barbara Walters is Barbara Walters went crazy with botox.
Anyway, Lady Gaga says that her creative process calls her to close herself off the world. You can watch the video of her screaming for attention HERE if you really want to.
She does not cut herself off from the music world. That is a lie. How else is she going to steal from Madonna? BOOM! Case closed. She’s a liar.
My other favorite part about “her last interview” is she now wants babies. God save the children! (Again, you can see her say this HERE). You should really watch this because even Oprah is eye rolling her to death.
Let’s just see how long Gaga’s silence actually lasts for.
A girl can dream.
In this month’s O Magazine, the Op is schoolin’ us on some serious sandwich maker the only way the woman who owns the world knows how; with love.
“It became the Love Sandwich because I first started making it just for Stedman. I’ve only made it for a couple of other people, so if you’ve had me make the Love Sandwich for you, you have to be somebody I really care about.”
Spoiler alert: This sanwich isn’t special because Oprah can’t cook a damn thing without the hired help helping her.
She’s not giving out the full recipe for the Love Sandwich until you pick up the newest issue of her magazine, but here is the basic idea so you can start creating your own special version.
Grab a panini, melt hot pepper cheese over smoked turkey and fresh basil in a skillet or a panini press, which Oprah says it “takes the ‘love sandwich’ to a whole new level.”
- 6 egg whites
- 1 egg yolk
- 1 teaspoon fresh thyme or oregano or chives
- 1 scallion , minced
- Salt and freshly ground pepper , to taste
- 1 ounce pepper Jack cheese or 1 tablespoon Parmesan cheese
In a bowl, beat the egg whites and the yolk. Add the herbs and scallion, and season with salt and pepper.
Spray a nonstick omelet pan with cooking spray, heat the pan to medium, and pour in the eggs. Use a wooden spoon to move them around, making sure to scrape the bottom to prevent them from sticking. When they begin to come together, sprinkle on the cheese, and cook till they reach the desired doneness. Enjoy!
New goal in life….. one day have Oprah make me a love sandwich because she just adores me so much.
And I’m clearly writing about Oprah and her “love sandwich” because it’s 1PM and I’m hungry. I think it’s time to eat some Starburst Jellybeans.
Let’s all be honest with one another… OWN needs some work. Oprah may be the second coming, but her network is in like last place. I think The Revolution gets more hits than OWN. BOOM!
I’m sorry Oprah. Please don’t strike me down with the black plague.
Anyway, Jimmy Kimmel laid down some brilliant ideas for OWN to help the brand.
Again, did you guys already see this and I’m just 24 hours behind everything???
Oprah beating someone’s ass over the book club… duh. Perfect. How is that not a show?
WHAT A VISION!
I don’t know what she won, but she was sitting in her very own box with James Earl Jones and some guy that was definitely held up by marionette strings.
Oprah is always my favorite part of the Oscars. Hugo might have been the Adele of the show and won every goddamn award, but Hugo wasn’t wearing gold and looking like the second coming of everything on this planet.
I just wanted to mention how lovely she is.
PS Did anyone watch her and Jimmy Kimmel’s special that aired after the Oscars? Was it hilarious? Apparently she did this during the special which makes it a winner in my book.
This story makes absolutely no sense to me, but an old lady told me last night how she laid down some attitude on Oprah on the streets of NYC, so Oprah is on my brain.
Anyway, Oprah was jealous that Nicki Minaj was hanging out with the pope, Adele was winning a lot of shit, and Bruno Mars was seducing me with his hair and shiny jacket at the 54th Grammy Awards, so she took to Twitter to end the nonsense and regain control of her planet:
“Every 1 who can please turn to OWN especially if u have a Nielsen box.”
Now, I have no idea what the big is and I have even less of an idea what a “Nielsen box” is (but you bet your ass I want one now), but people who don’t believe in The Almighty Oprah said she can’t do this.
Apparently, it’s cheating and corrupt to ask people to watch a specific show if they own a box that counts ratings.
It’s called marketing… and plus Oprah can shoot you down with a side eye, so shut your mouth you non believers.
I’m gonna go get myself one of those Nielsen boxes and watch nothing but OWN. It’ll be like my very own bible study. Hey, maybe LeAnn Rimes or Kim Kardashian will join me?
This will be the greatest story you will read …all day. I promise you that.
I’m pretty sure that’s how the seal actually looked. This picture has not been doctored at all.
Shakria was doing things that only Shakira does, I’m assuming something like proving her hips don’t lie and wakka wakka-ing all over the place, when a seal, out for a vengeance, attacked her!
Shakira bravely took to her Facebook page to explain how her brother defeated the murderous seal:
This afternoon I happened to see some sea lions and seals. I thought to myself how cute they were so I decided to get a bit closer than all of the other tourists and went down to a rock trying to pet them doing a baby talk while taking pictures… Suddenly, one of them jumped out of the water so fast and impetuously that it got about one foot away from me, looked me in the eye, roared in fury and tried to bite me. Everyone there screamed, including me. I was paralyzed by fear and couldn’t move, I just kept eye contact with it while my brother “Super Tony” jumped over me and literally saved my life, taking me away from the beast. We both got our hands and legs scratched by the rocks while trying to protect ourselves. I believe what happened is that it confused the shiny reflection of the blackberry I was taking these pics with, with some sort of fish. It probably thought I was teasing it with food and then taking it away from it. Wow! It’s funny that only half an hour before I was complaining to my guide Andrew that I never get to see wild animals up close on adventurous trips. Oh well, I can’t say that anymore!! Now I’m off to see some penguins! I hope they are a bit more friendly!
So basically, that so-called douche bag seal was just a massive Steve Jobs/iPhone fan, and when Shakira started shaking her Blackberry in its face, “the beast” got angry with Shakira.
Thank Oprah, “Super Tony” was there to save the day.
I’m glad this seal thinks everything is so damn funny.
First, I was looking for an “Oprah’s Favorite Things” GIF and I found one with her and a cat. This will have to suffice.
Second, I just love when Abe Lincoln is taking time out from running the country and abolishing slavery to abolish some undead.
To me, the original Linc the Sink being a vampire hunter is super logical and I’m finally glad it was turned from a book to a movie so I can enjoy it.
It’s like one werewolf and a girl who can’t act away from being Twilight but with my favorite president. LOVE IT!
I know, like me, you were wondering what woman would marry Steven Tyler??? Because this is how I think of him…
But I found the answer to our query. The photos of Steven Tyler snorkeling in a speedo over the holidays is EXACTLY why a woman would marry him. Right?? RIGHT??? I mean, it can’t be because he has a butt load of money and does weird interviews in the woods with Oprah.
I was going to compare him to a Grandpa, but then I realized his body has more of a Grandma physique.