Rocco's Pop Revolution: Seen through the eyes of someone living it

Oh my Oprah… that pre-show was the longest thing I’ve ever sat through in my life.

This is the real show. Same deal… live blog, improper English, incomplete sentences, and me weeping because Leonardo DiCaprio is no where to be seen.

Let’s go…

I’ve never wished I went to the movies more this season in my life. I missed so many good ones. I suck.

LEO!! Is this the only way I will get him in my life??

 

“you just lost a facebook friend”

Morgan Freeman!! Love him.

PS The Oscars are super hard to live blog. The Grammy’s have more of a flow. I’m confused. And I just choked on a piece of a banana.

Wow. James Franco in tights… yup.. I still wan to date him.

BACK TO THE FUTURE!!! This just may be my second favorite movie.

Anne Hathaway in outfit 2… James Franco is wasted and I want to make out with him.

What would happen if no one laughed at the jokes?? My worst fear. And my worst fear is coming true… this isn’t funny.

I love James Franco’s Grandma… I’d trade in my Grandfather for her. True story.

Did not know Toy Story 3 was about lesbians??? Good to know.

WTF was that look back thing?? That was dumb.

TIM HANKS!! I love Forrest Gump

TITANIC!!! AHHHHHH. I’m weeping.

Best Art Direction: Inception or Harry Potter is my guess.

SHIT! Alice In Wonderland. I’ve never seen this movie so I don’t care. I’m ready to shut this off and watch some Titanic.

Cinematography: Inception or Social Network.

YAY!! Inception. Look for Leo!! I don’t see him. That man that just won and who is speaking yelled at the audience for clapping. That was scary.

Kirk Douglas… I had no idea he was still alive. Good to know. He just called movies “pictures”… this may or may not be my father.

Best Supporting Actress: Amy Adams or Haliee Sienfeld.

Melissa Leo wins. I was way off. I didn’t even have a picture prepared. Shit. Well, google her yourself. I don’t have a picture of her.

She just said “f**king”???  I like this chick.  Okay… hurry up and get off the stage. That’s why this show is 2858934 hours long.

Oh Timberlake and Mila Kunis are in a movie about sex. Can’t wait to see that.

Umm J Timb.. you just stole my Banksy joke. You’re an ass.

I don’t know what’s happening… and that wasn’t funny.

And now he’s stealing Kirk Douglas’ joke… he sucks tonight.

I don’t know who the animated short people are… I’m going to pretend that didn’t happen.

I’M SO BORED!!!

Best Animated Film: I don’t think I saw any of these… but Toy Story 3 always wins shit right?? I’ll say Toy Story 3.

YAY!! I’m on a roll with guessing the winners. I should win an award for that.

 

Are you all still reading this??? This is such a long show. It’s not as fun as the Grammy Awards.

YEAH I SAID IT HOLLYWOOD!!

I think I would have been an awesome old Hollywood person. Just saying.

Why is Josh Brolin and Javier Bardem in all white?? They look dumb.

Best Adapted Screenplay: 127 Hours or Social Network

YES! Social Network. I’m such a genius this year. I lost count but I’m over 50%. Aaron Sorkin… I’ve never seen him and he just spit out some fun facts about the word “network”. Let’s look at Jesse Eisenberg and Justin Timberlake.

Best Screenplay:  I want to write a movie. That’s my life goal. You heard it here first.

Inception better win…. oh shit. King’s Speech won. I could have written a better script.

He has a stutter?? That’s s-s-s-sweet. (I’m going to hell)

Why is Anne Hathaway in a suit?? (3rd outfit) I don’t care why she’s in a suit… this is funny. I didn’t know she could sing.

James Franco in a dress and a Charlie Sheen joke… I still want to date him. Is that weird?? Definitely.

Russel Brand and Helen Mirren…. she is beautiful. Why is she speaking another language??  Oh I see it’s for foreign language film.

I’ll say the third one will win. PS Canada isn’t foreign. Just saying.

I think I guess right. I’m going to give myself a point.

Is this woman drunk?? Or is she just trying to find the words in English??

Reese Witherspoon and her weave are back.

Best Supporting Actor: Christian Bale or Jeremy Renner (he’s hot) or Mark Ruffalo (I like him too and his wife’s name is still not named Sunrise)

CHRISTIAN BALE… or Jesus just won.

When I think of what Jesus looks like….I think of him. Did he just make a joke about his maniac yelling ways?? Nice.

Marky Mark just did a black power fist move… I love it. Oh Jesus is crying. Weeping.

This show is slowly killing me. I’m actually laying down at this point and it’s only 9:40. Who were those people talking about their wedding??

Anne Hathaway (4th outfit??? I lost count)

Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman… Australian-extravaganza!!!

 

Me too Ostrich… me too.

Is this for best score?? This is my favorite. You know what my favorite score is… Titanic.

Best Score: Social Network had a sick nasty score. So did Inception. I say Inception wins.

SOCIAL NETWORK!! Trent Reznor… you look like an actual human that does not frighten me. Good job.

JAMES FRANCO I’M BORED!!

Why is Scarlett Johansson grasping on to Matthew McConaughey hey hey shoulder?? Is she drunk too??

What is this award for?? Best Sound??? Right now I’m screaming of boredom.

INCEPTION!! No Leo?? Now I’m weeping.

 

Best Sound Editing… I don’t even know what this means.

The guy in Tron (not Jeff Bridges) was sexy.

INCEPTION!! Still no Leo. Richard King… you owe that 1000% to LEO!

I really want to watch Inception right now…. such a good movie.

James Franco is bored. He’s never been so bored in his life.

WTF is Cate Blanchet wearing??? That’s hideous.

I don’t know what just happened. I answered some emails. You guys are so great by the way. You continue to read my blog and comment and encourage… so nice. You may never see this because who is still watching the Oscars and reading this at this point??… but if anyone is… I just want to say Thank you!! I love reading your comments/tweets and it keeps me motivated and challenged and on my funny toes

And now for my own awards… best tweets about how boring the Oscars are:

Lee is bored too:

I saw this exhibit today at the Metropolitan Museum Of Art and it was about guitars from Italian Americans throughout the years. It was so cool. All these custom guitars…could you imagine how awesome you  have to be to have a custom guitar made for you?? Super cool is the answer to that.

By the way… we need to name the Ostrich if he’s gonna stick around. Suggestions??

OBAMA IS ON THE OSCARS. BEST PART.

By the way… the woman who won best oscar is a awful dresser. How ironic.

I love Mandy Moore. She looks great. She has great pop music. “Candy”?? “Walk Me Home??”… who’s that nerd she’s singing with?? I kinda have  a crush.

OPRAH?!??!

If you could wish for anything right now… what would it be?? (that’s a good interview jamboree question by the way) I’d really want someone to hand me 5 peanut butter m&m’s.

WHAT ARE THESE CATEGORIES?!?! Strangers No More won. I’m not sure what that is.

I’m gonna close my eyes for a few minutes.

JAMES FRANCO JUST SHOUTED OUT NYU!! HOLLA!!

OMG HARRY POTTER MUSICAL!! I’m dying… this is the best f**kin part.

Oprah… you take my breath away. Look at at the audience smile broadly. You look stunning.

Oprah needs a documentary. I would watch anything she is in.

What did she just give away??? I was distracted by her curls.

I want to breathe Oprah air. I bet it smells like Ben Franklins.

Billy Crystal… I love City Slickers… ever see that  movie?? It’s great.

RDJ AND JUDE LAW…. bromance central!

Did not watch since Oprah and RDJ and Jude?? Not sure who won what…

This show is awful. I’m debating if I should jump in the shower… but I don’t want to miss the big awards.

My birthday is next month… I’m not sure what to do for it. What do you guys do for your birthday??

Oh and I decided I want Interview Jamboree to be on the 1 year anniversary of Rocco’s Revolution. That’d be awesome. So he has until July. That’s soooo much time for him to prepare and rearrange schedules. Just saying. (Oh and “he” is Lee D. obv).

Jennifer Hudson sounds funny… why is she speaking in an accent??? (ohh that’s why Florence Welch was here) I have an accent… I don’t say my “ing”s. It comes out as “in”… like “runnin” or “swimmin”.  Just a fun fact about myself.

PLATROW!!!

I hope potential employers never read this… I’ll never get a job because I’m just rambling to kill time until the awards I care about.

SarahJo just saved my night with this:

1) James Franco… be more stoned. Please.

2) Oprah… you just may be stoned too.

3) Anne Hathaway … you are pretty.

4) I’m so jealous of James Franco and Anne Hathaway right now.

5) Oprah just yelled JAAAAMES FRAAAANCO!!!

Thank Oprah (hahah) that picture just revived my soul… I was about to tell you childhood stories.

I don’t want Celine Dion around unless she is singing “My Heart Will Go On”. I miss Leo still. Seriously. Celine. Stop singing this… I want some heart of the ocean business.

Halle Berry… why are you crying??? Stop. She annoys me.

So back to me and my childhood. I  have two sisters… and two parents. That’s Mamadukes and Big D.. co-stars of Rocco’s Rev. I’m the youngest… I definitely have youngest child syndrome.

I lost count of the number of outfits Anne Hathaway has had on. James Franco still has the same suit with bong water all over it.

Best Director: King Speech. YAYAYAY????

This will be a separate blog tomorrow because Lee bear’s hair deserves more than to be mixed into this shit… but just look at that perfection.

1) Heart of the ocean is bling-ing. I refuse to believe it’s anything else.

2) That hair. Award winning. Oscar award winning if you will (I had to make this related to Oscars right???)

3) EYEBROW!! If any of my friends or sister are reading this (which you better be… because I’m your friend/ your blood)… that’s like my eyebrow. HAHAHHA. I think I may be his sister. LMAO.

Cory Monteith.. I wish you were at the Oscars.

Oh good. The awards I care about are next.

Oh and thanks to Cher, because she is way smarter than I am, Ostrich’s name is Oscar.

 

James Franco… be more high please.

Are you straight now??? Did she just ask that?? Oh wait.. this is an award I care about.

Best Actress: Natalie Portman.

 

Black Swan was a good movie.  Remember that movie she was in when she gave birth in the Wal-Mart??

Do you think it’s too late to get into acting??? I want to win an Oscar. She just thanked Millipeid man for putting a baby into her uterus. That’s hilarious.

Sandra Bullock is hilarious. She is funny. I like her. Not even a whore of a husband can bring her down.

Best Actor: Colin Firth. Shocking.

Colin Firth is kinda sexy.

Oh hey yo.. NY children’s choir.

I love brushing my teeth. I love the feeling of clean teeth. That’s why I  love Paul McDonald. I feel like he brushes his teeth frequently.

Also, I ate so many crackers during this stupid show I know have a stomach ache. I wonder if this is what Casey Abrams felt like. I hope I don’t get kicked out of the blogosphere. <— my jokes aren’t even funny anymore. It’s late!

Yes… drag this show out more please. I’m not ready to kill myself yet.

I’ve decided I’d rather give birth to sextuplets than watch this show again.

Best Picture: King’s Speech.

NEVER HAVE I CARED LESS.

GOOD NIGHT!!

-Rocco

PS James Franco can not be more wasted and every one has shut off these poor kids. No one is listening to them. Like myself.