Rocco's Pop Revolution: Seen through the eyes of someone living it

Posts Tagged ‘perfume

Well, now you can watch 15 minutes of Kristen Stewart awkwardly talking about the Balenciaga’s Florabotanica fragrance.

Now, I don’t think the French perfume people thought Kristen would have to talk about it because then they obviously would have chosen somebody else. ANYONE ELSE.

My absolute favorite part of this is when she was asked about learning the French language and her reply was basically “oh I’ve been too busy banging guys who aren’t my boyfriend”

“It’s been a goal of mine, but I’ve been a little, uh, preoccupied.”

I mean, that’s what she meant, right?

-Rocco

Because nothing says elegant and fragrant like this face…

Or this…

Miss Sunshine will be the new face of Balenciaga’s newest fragrance and I think we can safely assume it’ll smell like cigarette smoke.

I’m just glad she isn’t creating her own perfume line, because that would be offensive to the hardworking celebrities like Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.

Smell like me!!

-Rocco

 

That’s totally what’s happening in her 17 second message to her fans. She could at least sing a holiday song to pretend like it’s not just about her fragrance that I’m sure smells exactly like you think it would smell.

I don’t know why she wouldn’t call it “Genie In A Bottle” because that’s funny and brings back good memories.

-Rocco

As you may or may not know… Taylor Swift was in NYC yesterday promoting her new fragrance, Wonderstruck.

Now, many of you are probably thinking that I got my ass down to Herald Square in my prettiest please be my BFF dress and finally met Taylor Swift and told her how I live my life by the WWTSD (What Would Taylor Swift Do?) religion.

Spoiler: I didn’t. I had o be a slave serve some wine and italian food instead. But, you bet your booty as I almost dropped multiple trays and messed up people’s orders, I was thinking WWTSD?? And the answer was, pretend to be listening to the patrons while singing Taylor Swift songs in your head and planning for the next time Taylor is in NYC.

How adorable is that dress?? I’m going to get that perfume. I’m not even kidding. I’m gonna go Google it now and price it out.

*google google*

It’s $50. Let’s be real… I’m gonna get it. I’ll be sure to up date you on how I smell.

-Rocco

Which I’m down with because best friends should always smell like each other. If you and your BFF don’t have similar body odor, you better check your friendship at the door.

The 21-year-old country star is launching her debut fragrance,Wonderstruck, this October featuring a “charming and sparkling surprise of vibrant fruits, kissed by a bouquet of soft petals and a touch of sweet indulgence.”

“Wearing perfume is such a unique way to create memories. Like songs, a scent can take you back and allow you to relive a moment in time,” Taylor explained.

“A fragrance can help shape someone’s first impression and memory of you. It’s exciting to think that Wonderstruck will play a role in creating some of those memories,” she added.

And now I’ll just post a picture of Taylor Swift because all I did was just copy & paste that press release and then write one sentence that came from my very own brain.

You’re welcome.

-Rocco

I have beef with so much in this picture:

1) He looks like a wax doll. Is this Macy’s or Madame Tussaud’s?

2) He looks like Hilary Swank.

A little bit, right?? But don’t worry, he’s still my favorite angel muffin.

3) His giant flower perfume bottle looks like an abstract hoo-hah. Now, it may just be my brain finally processing all the art history I took in college, but that’s what it reminds me of and I just think him creating perfume bottle that resemble va jay jays (seeing as he just came out of one 17 years ago) is a little much.

Anyway, remember when he got “attacked” yesterday by a crazy fan… turns out it was just an undercover cop vying for  a lock of her hair… for his daughter. Obviously.

Bieber was signing autographs outside of Macy’s when the crowd became unruly … and a plainclothes police officer rushed to help the singer.
Problem is — Bieber didn’t know the guy was a cop — so when the cop got close to Justin … Bieber got defensive thinking he was a crazy fan. A member of Bieber’s security team immediately grabbed the cop and tried to pull him away.
The cop quickly identified himself — and cited the security team member for disorderly conduct.

DRAMA! I refuse to believe this.

I think there is a 57 year old man out there who has  a J Biebs shrine in his apartment. And you better believe after this kerfuffle went down, this man went back into Macy’s and stol that giant perfume bottle to add to his collection.

-Rocco

I’m seriously debating if I should go down to Macy’s just to get a sniff of his new perfume, “Someday”, but I have a feeling I may be the oldest one there. And therefore I may or may not get arrested.

J Biebs stopped by David Letterman to announce the “Top 10 Little-Known Facts About Justin Bieber”

He really is super charming. I can try with all my might and never exude that charm. It’s a shame.

-Rocco

I’m gonna write this very quickly because I’m gonna get my ass to the nearest Macy’s and get me some of this perfume nicely entitled…”Someday”.

Does that mean “Someday” I’ll be an angel muffin like Bieber?? “Someday” I’ll be as successful and talented as Bieber?? “Someday” a little angel muffin of my own will come and sniff my neck as we float up to heaven?? <— rapture, what???

That was so intense.

I’ll let you know how it smells.

-Rocco

J Lo will cut a bitch for this!

I will kill Gaga for this. I'm from the Bronx!

I’m looking through a kaleidoscope from hell as I watch this video. But Lady Gaga feels like it’s something different.

“the birth of a new race within the race of humanity. The birth of a new race that doesn’t bear any prejudices. I think the most important thing is that I continue to grow, and I knew when I put [out] ‘Born This Way’ it would be a transitional moment, because it doesn’t sound like [my previous singles].”

I’ll stick with my interpretation… but see for yourself.

1) It looks like Jennifer Lopez’s movie The Cell, in the beginning.

2) Her voice over at the top made the song worse… if possible.

3) This is 7 minutes?!?!?  OMO! It’s like the f-in Oscars. I’m bored.

4) I’m glad she still isn’t wearing pants…  and continues to look like a reptile.

5) Where are the transsexuals?? There was such a big casting call for it!! What a waste of their time. I see no men that may be women or vise versa.

6) Okay… I admit I skipped around because I don’t have 7 minutes to sit here and watch this crap. But this isn’t anything new. She dressed up in Halloween costumes again,  and wore no pants. She does that every video.

I was born this way Rocco!

Oh and I’m pretty sure this was product placement for her hemoglobin/ejaculate perfume. I’m sure it will look like this mucus stuff below.

You can't spray it on.. it's too thick. You have to wipe it on.

I just puked a little. I grossed myself out. Sorry if I grossed you out too.

Anyway… it didn’t make me like the song anymore. But I’m sure her fans are shedding tears over it. So yay??

-Rocco

That is the most intriguing/nauseating title I have ever written. You are welcome and I apologize.

My least favorite person, smelling of hemoglobin and ejaculate, will perform on the American Idol finale.

Why they are telling us this months is advance is beyond me…. but maybe some people want to mark their calender?? I’m marking it NOT to watch the show now.

Where is Mr. STD?? I can sit next to him because I am wearing a condom. An actual, giant condom

That’s not true. I’ll watch. By May she will complete her transformation into a reptile and be completely bat shit crazy.

Ryan Seacrest is quivering in his shoe lifts.

-Rocco


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