Posts Tagged ‘Playboy’
So, I Got Some Of Bruno Mars’ Words Without Ripping The Plastic Off Of The Playboy
Posted on: March 14, 2012
- In: Bruno Mars
- 9 Comments
I’m about to tell you my deep dark secret. I have x-ray vision. THERE! IT’S OUT!!!
Actually, I just brought one of those plastic re-sealer things people use for potato chip bags into the bodega and read the Playboy for free. I risked my freedom for you guys; I could’ve went to jail.
This is what that genius man above had to say about his influences, people he’d like to work with (spoiler: they’re all dead), and his music:
On the musicians he looked up to growing up: “Growing up in the showbiz world, I looked up to those guys: Frank Sinatra and of course Elvis Presley. My dad was into the 1950s doo-wop era. If you look at those groups, or at James Brown, Jackie Wilson and the Temptations in the 1960s, you’ll see you had to be sharp onstage.”
On the musician he’d most like to work with if he could: “Jimi Hendrix. I think he’s the greatest guitar player in the world, and I would want to see him do his thing in person. He’s the reason I picked up a guitar in the first place.”
On his music: “My album is called Doo-Wops & Hooligans, but it’s not a 1950s ‘Earth Angel’ sound like you hear in Grease-type movies. I could sing you a thousand and one doo-wop songs. I love the simplicity in that music. It’s not superpoetic, it’s just from the heart.”
I just want to high five him and share a bag of skittles with him… in or out of bed. I’m still not tossing out the idea of ‘half Italian/half Hawaiian-even though he’s not Hawaiian’ babies.
-Rocco
Let’s just take those Emmy’s away from Ellen right now.
Lindsay Lohan will reveal (read: blind us all and make us question why the world is still spinning) her Playboy magazine a week from tomorrow (do the math) on The Ellen DeGeneres Show.
My poor Mamadukes is going to be innocently watching Ellen DeGeneres while she puts her feet up and drinks some tea after a long, hard day at work and she’s going to see this:
1) To the poor person who had to Photoshop this… I’m so sorry. I hope they gave you a gigantic bonus and/or new eyeballs and a Men In Black style memory eraser.
(I just cracked myself up)
2) Lindsay Lohan looks nothing like Marilyn Monroe, so there goes her whole “it’s inspired like the classy Marilyn Monroe that I try so much to be like”. She looks like a hooker that I once saw when I took a turn up the wrong street in Amsterdam.
I just wanted to warn you all not to watch Ellen DeGeneres next Friday.
-Rocco
Naturally Lindsay Lohan Did A ‘Marilyn Monroe Themed’ Shoot For Playboy. Because She’s Classy.
Posted on: November 8, 2011
(I thought I could go a whole day without writing about her. I guess not)
Sure to be sipping on that delusional cocktail, Lindsay Lohan wanted to emote the air of Marilyn Monroe during her Playboy shoot. It needs to be classy… classy va jay jay is in, didn’t you know??
I’m assuming this is not one of the photos.
Earlier this month, Dina Lohan confirmed to The Insider that her daughter Lindsay will be featured in an upcoming issue of Playboy. Now, The Insider’s Brooke Anderson is the first to get Hugh Hefner to spill even more salacious details on the highly anticipated spread.
First things first — Hefner confirmed that Lindsay did go fully nude for the photo shoot, which he called “classy.”
“It’s a classic tribute inspired by the original Tom Kelly nude pictorial of Marilyn Monroe, a portion of which was the original playmate which was in the original issue of Playboy. Oh yes. And classy, very classy.” Hefner said.
Lindsay’s Playboy spread will appear in the January/February 2012 issue.
First… call me crazy but pairing Lindsay Lohan with the words “fully nude” and “classy” is not classy. Skanky comes to mind.
Second… SHE WILL NEVER BE MARILYN MONROE!!
Third… Hugh Hefner must not know the definition of classy.
What a vision. I’m not sure why they cast Michelle Williams in My Week With Marilyn???
-Rocco
And that’s coming from her mother, Dina Lohan. She’s such a good mother.
Lindsay Lohan was offered to do a shoot for Playboy for $750,000 and of course she did it already because chick needs money for her necessities. And by necessities, I’m going to assume they are illegal necessities.
So many great things about this:
1) Her mom is all about this and actually talking about it to the press.
2) Lindsay brought her sister, Ali, to the shoot because that’s a great place for your younger sister.
3) Lindsay Lohan once said in an interview: “I’m not going to do a nude scene. Then there’s no mystery for my private life. I think there’s other things you can do to show people you have talent.” <—– HAHAHHAHAH!
Where do I sign this check?? I need to cash it ASAP!
Oh and Lindsay is also upset that the LA Court System is singling her out:
Lindsay was outraged when Baca said he had room in the jail for her, and that she would benefit from substance abuse counseling if placed behind bars. Baca doesn’t know her, and he certainly isn’t a lawyer. Lindsay was just at a loss for words that the sheriff would single her out,” an insider close to the situation tells us.
HOW DARE THE JUDGE SINGLE HER OUT?!?!? Why can’t anyone understand she needs to be in Europe and lots of cocaine??
-Rocco
- In: Glee
- 6 Comments
Sometimes I panic (mostly when I’m putting on eyeliner and poke myself in the eye because I think I see a wrinkle) and think “OMG I’m going to be 30 in 6 years!!!”… but now, I can just laugh and think “Mark Salling is 30 in 1 year!!”
Seriously. The man who plays a 17 year old with a mo-hawk on Glee is actually 29 and now I just think he’s terribly old and contemplate how he manages to get around without a walker.
Plus, he’s apparently he’s into owls which makes me believe is really old because Big D likes owls and he likes Motown. I think I made my point.
Oh and he likes Playboy bunnies. Shocking.
Happy belated birthday!
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 4 Comments
I’m just saying he’s really old and if he dropped dead on his dining room table, it would look exactly like this picture of him “planking”.
He looks dead to me. Someone get one of those ho’s to check his pulse.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
I was worried for a minute there. I mean, if Hugh Hefner can’t find love, what hope do the rest of us have?? I always base my belief in true love on Hugh’s relationship status and now that he changed his Facebook (or whatever old people use) to “its complicated with a gold digger” I can sleep at night.
And the lucky lady is a charmer.
Cute, right?? She looks so vacantly happy and in love. I bet they eat butterscotch candies in bed together, because that’s what old men and their young girlfriends do.
I hope you all read this post with your young daughters and showed them what it takes to be a successful woman in life; a bottle of peroxide and the stomach for the smell of old people (which I believe is poop, Farina cereal, and formaldehyde.)
-Rocco
Hugh Hefner & His Ho Broke Up
Posted on: June 15, 2011
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
Was that mean of me?? Should I not call her a ho?? Maybe she is actually smart because she realized that Hugh is going to live for another 20 years and she doesn’t want to pretend to love him for that long, no matter how much money she’ll get.
I lost my ho! Where did she go??
Actually, Crystal is the said ho and she broke poor Hugh’s heart over money. He wouldn’t give her more allowance, so she tried to kill him but that didn’t work. So, she just left him.
Just kidding. She didn’t try to kill him…. but I mean, she was heating up his soup during the last week of their relationship, so who knows??
I don’t even know why I bothered writing about this and making shit up about this because I couldn’t care less. Sorry for wasting your time.
-Rocco
Who didn’t see this one coming?? But he’s too cool for school and a mug shot, so he just tells people he smokes pot all day.
I'm bringing marijuana back.. yeh!
J Timb spoke to Playboy magazine (naturally) about his habit and it’s just because he needs to not be Justin Timberlake for a few hours.
On smoking pot: “Absolutely [I’m a pot smoker]…The only thing pot does for me is it gets me to stop thinking. Sometimes I have a brain that needs to be turned off. Some people are just better high.”
I wonder what he eats when he’s high?? This question will plague me until I die… but it the time being, I’m gonna go eat some yum yums myself.
-Rocco
