Posts Tagged ‘Posh Spice’
Only a soulless individual takes a picture sans a smile when kicking it with a dolphin. What is wrong with this ice queen?
Jesus. Even the dolphin is smiling— and dolphins don’t even smile.
I’m literally planning a trip to London so I can crash the red carpet premiere of this Spice Girls musical (because that’s what I want… what I really, really want… ziga zig ahhh!) and Posh Spice who is in the heart of it all doesn’t give a shit about it.
The girl group made the announcement at the St. Pancras Renaissance Hotel where the video for their 1996 No. 1 hit “Wannabe” was filmed.
Viva Forever will feature Spice Girls music while telling “the story of four friends whose bond is tested when their band enters a TV talent show,” the Associated Press reports.
That sounds like something Elton John would score. Clearly, this is the greatest news to come out of the London musical scene since Billy Elliot and Posh Spice is looking like she’d rather be force-fed a sandwich then be at this wonderful announcement.
The excitement between the 4 of the girls (Scary-who’s literally fanning herself, Sporty, Ginger- who is going bananas, and Baby) is palpable while they openly mock Victoria Beckham for being an asshole about this whole thing.
How can one not grin with news of a Spice Girl reunion?
Just a warning: If anyone ever presents me with a plate of fruit for my birthday… you’re getting a face full of fruit in the face and no wet one to wipe the sticky juice off.
Get a piece of cake like a real person. I don’t eat sweets a month before my birthday so I can nosh on candy and chocolate treats all day. Okay.. that’s a lie.. I eat a sweet treat every day but that’s BECAUSE I’M A NORMAL PERSON!! And a birthday is just an excuse to eat more sweet treats, and by more I mean a giant ass cake with your name all over it because you survived for X amount of years.
Let’s all just assume Victoria Beckham had a shitty birthday.
She looks like one of those orphan kids from horror movies that kill their entire family. That or…. actually she looks like she always looks, it’s just the dress that gives it the orphan detail.
Victoria Beckham showed up looking like that to every fashion event in the past week, and of course we all made fun of her. Well, Posh told The Daily Mirror to lay off and stop having the starving children of the world ration their food to her because she is just tired. SHE HAS KIDS!:
“Look, if people want to say I’m miserable then so be it. I’m really not. I have a lot on my plate. I’m not going to lie about it, I’m tired. I’m really tired but I’m also very happy with my life.
I’m basically just like any woman who’s working and has lots of children – it’s tough. I’m not getting much sleep at all. Harper’s not sleeping that great, and I’ve been taking Skype business calls throughout the night too because of the collections. I’m up with the baby as all mums are and I wouldn’t have it any other way. There’s not a team of people doing it for me. And then people want to say I look crap. Well, I’m a working mum, so give me a break.
It’s actually been crazy. I had Harper, I was working on the collection and I was straight back into it. I took a lot on board. I’m tired. You can’t look your best all the time.
The thing is I get the game I’m in. People can read the shit about me and believe what they want and I get it. But I don’t want to focus on that side of things. The glass is always half full for me. You can’t get hung up on what other people say. I surround myself with the people that matter. And everything else can just go away.”
I get that she has 4 kids… but let’s not for one second pretend she doesn’t have a nanny. I’ll believe she eats 3 meals a day before I believe she doesn’t have at least one nanny.
The Beckhams are like BFF with Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and their robot child, Suri, right??? If so, there is definitely an alien in that belly. Hello!?!?!? Scientologists!!!
Xanu impregnated that spice girl. Don’t you find it suspicious that all Posh Spice wanted was a little girl to diet with??? Well, that was the deal. Xanu said I’ll give you a girl… but it has to be an alien girl. Omg this is so Rosemary’s Baby, but just swap out the crazy religion and put in Scientology.
So, anyway this happened.
And what makes Xanu the photographer even funnier is the fact that this is right after Victoria Beckham was just saying (while not smiling) and saying how she hates having professional photos of her baby bump.
“I’m not really one of these people that likes to go out and pose and flaunt being pregnant,” Victoria explained. “Not like there’s anything wrong in that. I’m so proud to be pregnant and I feel so blessed and so happy, I really do. But I’m just not that kind of person.”
Umm call me a crazy science believer but that black and white, probably photoshopped photo above looks like bitch is posing.
Xanu…you are quite the photographer.
Can Victoria Beckham begin to look at least a little bit knocked up?? I mean, isn’t this baby due in like 2 months?? Let’s see some visuals of this gestation please!
I’ve had a handful of pretzels this morning and my stomach looks more pregnant than her. (And yes I know that means I had pretzels for breakfast. Do not judge me. I’m not a mother, so no one brought me breakfast in bed. I’m seriously thinking about getting impregnated just so I know next year I have at least 1 breakfast out of 365 days guaranteed)
That is obviously couture toilet paper and she’s still not smiling. What a bizarre, fabulous woman.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHER’S WHO ALWAYS GET STUCK CHANGING THE TOLIET PAPER AND TO THE MOTHER’S WHO SHOW DURING PREGNANCY RIGHT AWAY!!!
He should just get paid to look great.
That’s what I would do if I was out of this world gorgeous. I mean, I’m cute, but I have to use my wit and charm and intelligence to become a gorgeous individual. David Beckham could be illiterate for all I care… he looks great.
David Beckham graced the cover of Fantastic Man magazine and they may or may not have just created this magazine to put him on the cover of it.
I couldn’t care less if he said anything in this magazine. He’s wearing awesome plaid pants and wearing hipster glasses… that’s all I need to know about him.
If Ya Wanna Be My Lover, Ya Gotta Get With My Friends… And Go Get Us The Foods We’re Craving When We All Get Pregnant At The Same Time
Posted March 21, 2011on:
ALL THE SPICE GIRLS ARE WITH CHILD!! If this doesn’t prove Oprah exists…. nothing will save your soul.
Okay… not all of them are pregnant, but Emma Bunton (Baby Spice) is expecting, Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice) will give birth to the most beautiful baby girl and I pray she lets that child eat sweets, and now Mel B. (Scary Spice) will pop out a child in about 9 months. That’s 3 out of 5 and I don’t need to be a mathematician to tell me that is more than half. Right?
(I’ve heard robots have really strong will power)
(I’m probably going to eat a cupcake for lunch because of that photo. Just FYI)
The only way this exciting baby news could get better is if 1) they are all having girls and 2) this is just their secret plan to make a new generation Spice Girls which I’m totally behind. I’m so behind this idea in fact, I’m willing to get pregnant and add a baby girl to the mix because we all know Ginger Spice hates them now. Right?? Is that not true?? Did I just invite myself into this pregnancy pact?? Em-barr-a-ssing.
Oh and one more thing… you know these kids, male or female, are going to have the most kick ass names EVER!!
I can’t wait.
Wow… so someone wasn’t a Spice Girl fan! I really thought he was a “Say You’ll Be There” kinda guy. I’m totally going to ask him if he HAD to choose what Spice Girl to be for the rest of his life, who would it be?? That’s not a weird question right? (I should probably think of my answer in case he throws it back at me.) I kinda feel like he’s going to say Ginger Spice.
Anyway…. since the “Sex On Fire” karaoke master class he provided us with back in the day…. another one resurfaced. Well, it resurfaced for me….
I saw this last night and thought “let me sleep on it and come up with an extremely hilarious post, that will seal the deal for my interview Jamboree!!”
Unfortunately, I took NyQuil last night, and that put me in a coma and I don’t think I had any dreams… so we are just going to have a competition. But that Spice Girl question totally sealed the deal…. the rest from here on out is just for good measure.
This is the LEE VS LEE VS LEE: Simple Man Edition.
(Wow this is going to be good)
The first choice is the one above…. his simple, yet rousing karaoke version that seems to be a fan favorite. And whoever is recording it is such a fan, they felt the need to announce it to the camera. Thank you good sir for your vote, but it doesn’t count. Only my vote counts….
Ummmm yeah… sure you do.
This is wonderful. Back in his AI days… good times good times. And I hope Florida was okay that night, because apparently they had a tornado warning. I bet many of those Floridians told the tornado to relax until the end of this performance, so they could at least send in 1 vote.
And now choice 3:
Bald bear, bald bear what do I see?? (I have to say it like that every time FYI)….this almost beats the tornado warning one above because I already established that he shaved his head because of a bad break up which I totally fabricated…. so this version of Lee D. should win stuff, because he’s in a sensitive, fragile state. I almost feel bad making this version lose.
Wow… this is a tough competition.
I like the 1st one because he just screams the F word for no reason, but I’m still annoyed he doesn’t do any Spice Girls.
I like the 2nd one, because it’s the first time I saw him sing that song and I’m concerned about Florida, but he didn’t scream any profanity at the end.
I like the 3rd one because he’s bald and I feel bad, and he probably should have screamed some sort of curse word due to the broken heart, and since he didn’t, I can only assume my logical theory is in fact not true and he shaved his head for fun. And that’s just being careless.
Wow… those are the most logical explanations I’ve ever come up with during a fake competition. This almost feels like a real one.
In the words of Lee bear…. F THAT!! (I can’t fully type it out unless something super exciting happens… like the HAT OF ALL FREAKIN’ HATS or him and Oprah having lunch)
THEY ALL WIN!!
You’re welcome Lee bear…. but just between me and you…. I couldn’t BEAR (ba dum chhhh) to break bald bear’s heart anymore.
PS I dedicate this video to Lee bear. I’m pretty sure this sums up everything. Minus the cat suit… no one should ever wear that.