Rocco's Pop Revolution: Seen through the eyes of someone living it

Posts Tagged ‘Scotty McCreery

Maybe Nigel is confused, which is obviously the case, because I’m one of those people who believe he lives in a meth house in LA. I mean, even for a Brit his teeth seem a little off to me.

I'll do anything for Pia!

Anyway, American Idol had the genius idea of promoting American Idol season 11 by creating a 30 second promo spot that is just like taking a Lunesta; it involves Pia Toscano.

That’s all sweet and everything, but girl came in 9th place. Like she almost didn’t make it to the tour.

What about my little buttermilk biscuit angel that is Scotty McCreery?? Is “Love You This Big” not inspiring enough. Try and tell that to the cowboys in North Carolina.

I guess the point is anyone who is having trouble sleeping should watch this promo, not feel bad for the socialite of NYC that is Pia Toscano and then maybe audition for American Idol after you have a nice slumber.

-Rocco

 

So those American Idol people are terrorizing the nation by going on tour, and I guess really just the annoying contestants are terrorizing America and Naima Adedapo counts as one of them. (It should really just be a Casey Abrams tour and throw in a little “Love You This Big” because that song is funny).

that's what she said

Anyway, Naima is boom fire-ing all over the place and she’s singing Jennifer Lopez’s “On The Floor” which will inevitably cause her to perform an African dance, which will then have her relationship end in divorce. It’s a scientific fact.

It all gets really disturbing around 2:05. She is straight up rain dancing. It kind of reminded me of “Man Of The House”, (a great movie with my first true love Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Chevy Chase), and the rain dance scene. Netflix that shizz.

Back to Naima, the flip and split??? Needs to go. That is the worst Boom Fire I have ever seen. I hope Mamadukes sees this… she gets so enraged when it comes to this girl, it’s quite hilarious.

I hope Naima doesn’t do that every night in every city. Too much rain in some places.

BOOM FIRE!

-Rocco

I didn’t go see the American Idol concert because to be frank… I don’t want to waste the money on those people. Casey Abrams is probably banging Haley (who still needs mucinex) and P Mac is milking the cows with Nikki Reed. My money can be spent elsewhere as far as I’m concerned.

Plus, Oscar doesn’t like large crowds and I wouldn’t dream of going to see the Idol show with anyone else.

ever since ostrich puberty.... I can't stand crowds

Rachel, who writes another pop culture blog Goat In A Kitchen, went to the concert and wrote a great review. She’s very witty (and way more sane than me) and I recommend you read this review (HERE) because you will learn some shit.

Things I learned:

- Win Miss New York Pre-Teen NATURAL pageant and people will give me upgraded tickets and interviews (ya hear that Lee D?!?!?) …… I know I’m 24 but I’m working on getting my idea chalked so it says I’m 10. It will work out.

- Stefano needs to keep his goddamn clothes on.  I don’t know who told this kid he was Usher or J Timb, but they need to be shot. Maybe by the guy who shot himself. 

 

- P Mac is the worst dancer ever. So good luck in bed Nikki Reed.

-James Durbin is really popular (who knew??) and Jacob Lusk still is super gay and super in love with Jesus and he clearly has no idea that is a contradiction in that religion.

- I still need to win a pre-teen pageant DAMN IT!!

- People consider bringing scissors to concerts. And by people I mean, crazy ladies.

- Casey Abrams let’s people touch his beard. All of a sudden Oscar wishes he doesn’t have a fear of crowds.

- WHEN WILL MY ID BE READY FOR MY PRE-TEEN PAGEANT!!!!!

If you read all that and have no idea what I’m talking about, you need to click HERE and read Rachel’s review now.

-Rocco

And I like it way bigger than “I Love You This Big”.

“Out Of Summertime” is a summer country song that doesn’t make me want to poke my eyes with a flame thrower because I’m so bored.

Click HERE to hear it.

It’s better, right?? I’m not even joking. I’d pay to own that song, but I’d only listen to it from the months of June to August and when I’m below the Mason Dixon line. Or if I’m trying to bag some guy with a twang.

Scotty… you are my little angel buttermilk biscuit.

-Rocco

I’m stretching my arms out really wide to indicate “this big” in case you’re wondering.

Scotty Playa Playa is actually selling my most hated, yet most loved country song “I Love You This Big”. No seriously. It’s selling and breaking records and shit.

(Oh God… that song is so painful, yet so healing at the same time)

That gem above is the highest-charting debut song for an artist in over 20 years on the country charts.

The song was released on radio on May 24 and came in at number 32 on the Billboard’s Hot Country Songs chart. It also shot up to the number one spot on iTunes and number three on Billboard’s Digital Songs chart, with 171,404 units sold.

I’m shocked and I apologize for making fun of him and his deep puberty voice.

Okay… I gotta stop writing this because for some reason the song is still playing and now I actually know the lyrics to the chorus of this song.

-Rocco

I mean, how else can you explain the photos I’m about to show you?? There is no other way. Trust me.

Notice anything?? Well, you if you aren’t blind you will notice that Scotty McCreery is posing the same way as Lee D did one year ago. Just ignore the fact that Minnie Mouse is  clutching to Lee D. like he’s her only hope for existence. Creepy?? YES!! (On both Scotty being a stalker and Minnie trying to become one with Lee D.)

Scotty is like the single white female to Lee D., except he’s a male with an extremely deep voice. If Lee D. hears someone whispering sweet nothings into his ear with an extremely deep puberty voice, Lee D better make sure his chick doesn’t have laryngitis, because if she doesn’t, Scotty crawled into his bed.

If Scotty starts wearing boring outfits in dark colors and treat hats… Lee D needs to go into the witness protection program.

I think I made my point. Watch your back Lee D. Literally and figuratively.

-Rocco

I’m going to attempt to use that song title in EVERY Scotty Playa Playa post by the way.

Scotty is in NYC and luckily I wasn’t at the time because my ass would have been down at the ABC studios shouting out “I love you this big!” and “that’s what she said” jokes. And then I’d use Scotty as my one call from prison after I got arrested and pray he’d take me out to dinner so I can keep singing my remixed version of this song to him.

I haven’t heard Scotty sing/speak in about a week and I’m not gonna lie…. I forgot he had the deepest voice known to man and I thought some sort of creature was going to crawl out of his throat. But then I remembered he hit puberty at the age of 3 1/2.

OH MY! I hate this song more and love it that much more since the last time I heard it. It’s the perfect balance of extreme boring-ness that forces me to contemplate how I can remove my ear drums because it will be more exciting, and how I need to learn these words as quickly as possible so I can bring it to karaoke.

VIVA LA SCOTTY! I need him to sing this song forever. It may have to be my wedding song so everyone at the wedding will pass out and I don’t have to pay for them to eat. Too expensive.

-Rocco

I don’t really have much to say about this photo except that it brings about weird feelings inside of me.

Part of me is frightened and the other part is into it and I want Scotty to wear that costume. That’s not weird at all, right??

-Rocco

First off, Marc Anthony??? I thought American Idol was anti-drugs. He looks like skeletor and I’m definitely not above suggesting he’s on crack, cocaine or a hybrid of the two.

Annnnnnd I’m pretty sure this is AMERICAN Idol not Spanish or Cuban or whatever language he is speaking Idol. No one knows what he’s saying. Not even Scotty who swears on his Grandma’s life he is 7% Puerto Rican.

Wad up Boricuas???

And then J Lo literally just shook her ass. She actually came out just to shake her ass. I wish I had a GIF of this, but all I have is a shitty screen cap.

I’m sure you all saw this and were just as confused by it all as I am right now, so you get the idea.

WHAT WAS GOING ON?!?!?

Withdrawl was what was going on apparently.

-Rocco

And AT&T. Please watch this and crack up because it is brilliant.

I don’t really know why this woman shouted “TO AT&T” but it’s the best thing I’ve seen all day.

I would give up my 2nd born to be as excited as this woman about anything. I didn’t even scream and shout out “TO AT&T” over my NKOTBSB tickets, but that might just be because there is way too many letters involved.

This woman is a massive Scotty Playa Playa fan… but the dog was clearly all about Lauren.

-Rocco


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