Posts Tagged ‘sexting’
Posted February 24, 2012on:
Oh. My. God.
Paris Hilton and her “music” are the things that feed my soul. This is how people like me survive…. off the hilarity of this situation.
“Drunk Text” is her new… I don’t even want to call it a song, because she’s basically talking over a beat that is probably from a Puff Daddy Circoc commercial.
She might have agreed to do this while drunk.
I can’t embed the video because apparently I’m drunk blogging right now, but I urge you to click HERE because this will make you laugh so hard.
I’m kind of embarrassed for her. This is worst than her night vision sex tape.
As I’m sitting here reading a Shape Magazine, (which was accidentally delivered to me but I’m grateful for it because I now know sexting could damage my relationship with my man and I also know how to get a tight tush and killer legs), I came up with 2 more album title/album covers.
Simple. Straight forward. A bromance told through music. Could easily transition to the world of Broadway.
This is the most obvious one. I can’t believe it wasn’t first on my list.
Clearly, this is a concept album.
Okay… no more. I promise.
Cindy is back from vacay and already giving me some gems to write about. And you know why…. (this is a message to you Lee bear) she doesn’t vacation for weeks and weeks at a time! She understands that I, Rocco, need to better my life, which can only happen if I write and then transform myself into a mix of Barbara Walters, Chelsea Handler, Anderson Cooper, and Oprah (but way, way hotter)… and my funniest stuff (if I may say so myself) is about YOU! So yeah… get back to work. Please??? Thanks!
Anyway… Cindy is back and sent me an interview I’ve never seen. And I know you are all so shocked by this, because I see everything and anything with Lee D. in it. (That may have been the biggest lie I have ever told. Forgive me Oprah!)
(He looks like he is doing “Rolling With Da Homies” from Clueless in that freeze frame hahahhah)
Wow. There is just so much to go on with this 3 minute thing. I don’t even know where to begin.
1) Lee texts everyone, even when he is on the same bus as them.
2) I know this was during the summer, because that was when the tour was (I do know some stuff. Simple things.. but I know it), but Lee makes it look like it is February.
3) Lee bear would divorce your ass if you put the toilet paper on the roll so it rolled out underneath. Legit, divorce you. I’ve never seen him get so serious. During my hard-hitting interview… I’m going to show up late, but provide lots and lots and lots of H2O (or juice whatever will fill his bladder quickly) and then he’ll have to go to the bathroom, and I’m gonna set the toilet paper up so it rolls out underneath. We’ll start that thing off right!
4) Again, he looooooves texting.
5) Andrew Garcia is hilarious. Cracks me up.
6) Lee bear macking it on the back of the bus in elementary school. Like his style.
7) I can’t believe the interviewer asked if anything, what would the idols change about them. What if they hated you and said “I’d change your face!”. This is how it would go between me and Lee bear.
Rocco: If you could change anything about me what would it be
Lee Bear: I wish you would not think you were so funny and change the way the toilet paper rolls out.
Rocco: *stunned into silence*
And then we would *high-five* because you can never go to bed mad at people.
And on a slightly related note… Siobhan Magnus (totally had to google that chicks name… because one, I couldn’t spell it, and two, I forgot her last name… I thought it was magnum… but no, it’s not) talks soooooo slooooooooow. I had to fast forward her parts. Me and her could never have a convo, because I talk very fast (especially when I’m excited or have a really good idea/story) and our talking speeds would just not mesh. I don’t think any of you are shocked by this fact.
That was a fun interview… I like that one. It inspires me to think of hilarious questions for my interview that’s totes mcgotes happening.
Thanks Cindy! Glad to have you back!