Posts Tagged ‘soccer’
Posted May 17, 2013on:
David Beckham is retiring from soccer.
Did your life change?
Good. Mine didn’t either. We may not have David Beckham kicking around a ball, but we always have those giant H&M billboard of Beckham’s crotch.
The only reason I’m posting this is because I just want to re-post these ridiculous photos of David.
See what I mean? You can see that if you go into H&M.
Now America can stop pretending we understand or like soccer.
I’m not gonna lie to you all. I hate heels.
If I could wear flip-flops all day, everyday I would, but when the weather drops below 60 degrees and I don’t want hypothermia, I’ll throw on a pair of flats or boot… but NOT HEELS!
Not only do I look like a moron walking in them (mainly because I can’t walk like a proper human being in heels), but they are terribly uncomfortable and impractical. What if I was getting chased by a murderer??? He or she would end my life because I tried to look cute and feminine in a pair of heels. I’ll take the fashion hit, just so I don’t take the murder hit… get it??
The reason I bring this up is because I just saw a photo of Victoria Beckham wearing heels whilst carrying her new baby girl, and all I could think was”if that was me.. that baby would be dropped on her head because I would be tripping”.
HOW IS SHE STILL STANDING???
I don’t think carrying your newborn in shoes with height like that is safe at all. I think the American Family Association should focus on the safety issue that is mother’s carrying their children while wearing stilettos,rather than gays on television. But that’s just me.
Oh and I’m not going to write in purple anymore today, because it’s a hassle to highlight everything and make it purple. Blah blah blah… it’s f**king Monday and like the rest of America, I wish Monday’s could be banished from the calendar.
Anyway, David Beckham looks goddamn sexy in a suit.
I don’t even care that he sounds like Minnie Mouse… it’s adorable if he’s in that suit.
Babies are freakin’ cute. Though they all look the same to me from the ages of 1 day – 365 days old, you can tell some of them have a little extra oomph!
And clearly Harper Siete (David & Victoria Beckham’s) female baby has it. I can already tell she loves platform shoes and hates people who smile at the camera. Her mother taught her well.
Vogue and US Weekly are probably pissed the Harper Siete debuted her “I already hate the paparazzi” glare via Twitter and Facebook, but baby Siete knows what’s up. Just look at her face… she already doesn’t take crap from the photogs.
She’s ignoring them like it’s her job. She is clearly her mother’s daughter. I can only hope David Beckham teachers her how to kick balls.
LMAE SAUCE! He just kicks balls around all day and I use my brain. I think I want 11.1 million “likes” by this evening. Totally doable. Just click HERE to make my dreams come true and crush David Beckham’s.
Here is some pictures of David kicking a ball just to remind you how much he doesn’t do.
I mean I’m just as good of a soccer player as him. I just choose not to go professional and make other people jealous.
Can Victoria Beckham begin to look at least a little bit knocked up?? I mean, isn’t this baby due in like 2 months?? Let’s see some visuals of this gestation please!
I’ve had a handful of pretzels this morning and my stomach looks more pregnant than her. (And yes I know that means I had pretzels for breakfast. Do not judge me. I’m not a mother, so no one brought me breakfast in bed. I’m seriously thinking about getting impregnated just so I know next year I have at least 1 breakfast out of 365 days guaranteed)
That is obviously couture toilet paper and she’s still not smiling. What a bizarre, fabulous woman.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL THE MOTHER’S WHO ALWAYS GET STUCK CHANGING THE TOLIET PAPER AND TO THE MOTHER’S WHO SHOW DURING PREGNANCY RIGHT AWAY!!!
*spoiler* I’m gonna comment on Posh Spice’s gestation.
This is Victoria Beckham with child:
I’m not even close to having a bun in the oven, but I eat a grape and my stomach protrudes more than hers.
Just wanted to share that with you.
He should just get paid to look great.
That’s what I would do if I was out of this world gorgeous. I mean, I’m cute, but I have to use my wit and charm and intelligence to become a gorgeous individual. David Beckham could be illiterate for all I care… he looks great.
David Beckham graced the cover of Fantastic Man magazine and they may or may not have just created this magazine to put him on the cover of it.
I couldn’t care less if he said anything in this magazine. He’s wearing awesome plaid pants and wearing hipster glasses… that’s all I need to know about him.