Posts Tagged ‘Stanley Tucci’
A mustache like that can not be closer than 100 yards from children at all times.
I think the ‘stache has gotten worse and has turned from child predator to child predator/serial killer. Goddamn it. He looks like Stanley Tucci from The Lucky Bones… ya know that movie when he murders a child???
Shave it. Please. It’s distracting me from the bulging biceps and that outfit that I’m willing to appreciate.
Let me just say, the odds would never be in my favor. I fully admit here and now that I’d be dead in two seconds. You know when they all come out of the glass tubes at the arena and have to fight for supplies? Well, that’s when I’d meet my demise. Anyone would be able to kill me… even Rue.
I also realized I’d never be able to win The Hunger Games because I’d die of dehydration. I couldn’t even sit for 2 hours in the movie theater without declaring every 5 minutes how thirsty I was and clutching my dry, burning throat. It was intense.
Anyway, I’m glad The Hunger Games doesn’t exist in real life (Please Barack Obama be re-eleceted because I feel like that might happen if the Republicans take over. Just saying.), but I’m really glad the movie existed. Below are my bulleted thoughts of the movie in no particular order. AKA it’s really random and you may feel the needs to take ADHD medication afterward:
- There is no way Miley Cyrus missed Liam Hemsworth , who played Gale, soooooo much while he was filming this movie because he was literally in 3 scenes. Did he even need to prepare? I think not. I can remember 17 words right before I shoot 2 scenes too! There is no way Liam Hemsworth was on set for more than 5 days. I just want to make that point.
- I was apparently drunk when I read the books because I remember jack shit about them. In between my parched calls for help and/or liquid in my mouth as soon as possible, I also declared how I had no idea who everyone was, what was happening and why it was happening. My reading comprehension is for shit.
- This movie was sad and heart wrenching. Rue dies. OMG KILL ME NOW! Katniss placing flowers all over her dead body to show respect. AHHHH MY HEART! Katniss then holding up 3 fingers to the cameras after she gangster kisses them…. MY EYEBALLS ARE NOW CRYBALLS!! Rue, I love you. I’m whistling to the mockingjays right now.
- Whoever the costume designer in this movie was sucked. He/she was on drugs. Why was my Peeta Bread dressed like a gay man? And why did was Katniss dressed like a 47 year old gym teacher at a parent teacher conference when she wasn’t fighting for her life? Lame.
- More on the costume design… we couldn’t get better CGI?? Girl on fire?? Girl in a bad green screen enhanced dress! As my friend put it last night “we can make the Titanic re-sink, but we can’t get more life-like flames!”. And yes we bring up Titanic in our everyday conversations.
-Cato is an asshole. Like, a giant asshole. And his little friends, like the black-haired girl and whoever the hell “Foxface” is, are douche bags.
- Peeta Bread!! Where do I start? How I love thee. I make fun of him everyday of my life for some reason, but I just want to eat poison berries with Peeta Bread all the damn time.
- Peeta Bread did not paint himself in the swamp area. I’m sorry. That didn’t happen. He can’t find food/water, but he can find paint, prosthetics and supplies to SFX his face up?
- Stanley Tucci is the best part of this movie. My god… what a gem!
-Lenny Kravitz… what an actor. He’s my new Ludacris.
By the way… I thought this was a good time to cry obnoxiously as well.
- I want to be BFF with Jennifer Lawrence so bad. (No offence Taylor Swift) Major girl crush on Jennifer Lawrence. (Also… little side note: not enough Taylor Swift music, and by not enough I mean NONE! Really crappy score)
Plus, if we were BFF she would be my alliance in The Hunger Games. And even though I’d die an untimely death because I have no survival skills, she buried my body like a champ!
Needless to say, my mind was running a mile a minute during this movie, and I liked it. It took me 24 hours to digest it all and to put it in incomprehensible words like these, but I think you’ll agree, that it was worth it.
And as a bonus a true life story: During the romantic scene of Peeta Bread and Katniss in the cave (where by the way they needed to make out way more and she needed to call him Peeta Bread just once) my good friend Alex leans over to me and sings “they found love in a hopeless place”. And now I give you this gem:
God. That is so good.
PS I would never volunteer as tribute.
PSS Conversation with Mamadukes:
Mamadukes: Did you like the movie?
Rocco: Yeah! It was good. They did a good job.
Mamadukes: The commercial makes it look confusing. Meh.
That’s a side eye from district 12 if I’ve ever seen one.
Why is she signing autographs? THIS ISN’T YOUR MOVIE!
Okay.. I’m done with hating on Miley, but like one Revolution-er said… “this bitch be trippin’!”
(I added the vulgar term… my apologies. I took creative liberty with that one)
That title has absolutely nothing to do with my upcoming joke about mass murderers with chain saws, but I’m watching Easy A and it’s hilarious. Emma Stone cracks me up. And the premise of this movie is hilarious. Plus, an all-star cast… a black adoptive brother, 1/2 of Aly & AJ (I don’t know which is which), a Jesus freak in the form of Amanda Bynes, that Humphrey kid from Gossip Girl, and Stanley Tucci! STANLEY TUCCI!!! Go watch this movie… I’ll even let ya know it’s on Starz on demand (nothing but the best cable package at my parents’ house). Go watch Easy A, after you read this of course.
Okay… let’s get into my chainsaw joke.
Okay first off, Let’s Watch Those Capitalized Letters There Homeslice. “Loudest” is not a proper noun or a proper adjective the last time I checked.
Second, this reminds me of those early summer mornings when Big D decided it was an awesome ass idea to mow the lawn, which by the way is right outside my window, at like 7AM. Absolutely ridiculous. I may have drafted divorce papers for Mamadukes to sign to get rid of my father, so he wouldn’t mow the lawn at 7AM. I’m serious about my sleep…. I was only willing to sacrifice my sleep every other weekend.
Okay.. that wasn’t so much a chainsaw joke as a fake divorce joke… but at least the chainsaw man wasn’t trying to kill you, Lee D. Get over it!
And now for your tweets!
Oh ain’t that the truth sister! I love pudding. In fact, Mamadukes better have a pudding cup in the house. Or I’ll have to get Big D to sign those divorce papers.
I love Thesauruses. LOVE THEM!! I asked for one for Christmas one year. I got one… because I’m a nerd deep down. Holla! (Great suggestions for “soon” by the way)
That really annoys me. 10:30?? Way to sleep in dude.
Ummm YES! In NYC preferably. Thanks.
Okay… Easy A is about to conclude. I need to see the end of this.
But, I really want to know Lee D’s secret. I can’t stand secrets. He’s taunting us!