Posts Tagged ‘Stefano Langone’
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
Unlike me. (Follow me: RoccosRev)
Anyway, there was an American Idol reunion that I wasn’t invited to live tweet/blog/instagram which is totally bullshit, but actually I’m glad I wasn’t there.
If I was there I would just have to school Pia in Instagram.
1)Lee D looks like someone colored in his beard with Magna Doodle magnet ash (but his hair looks great).
2) Stefano looks like a giant douche bro, which is not really too far from the truth. I assume and allegedly. (don’t sue me).
3) Pia looks like she’s taking a pee with a very painful UTI.
4) And Casey Abrams looks like Jesus in a really awkward filter.
LEARN TO UTILIZE THE INSTAGRAM FILTERS!!!
-Rocco
Who?
When someone told me about Stefano Langone complaining about my PP BOO! (BACK UP! I’ll fight ‘chu!) I had to stop and think who the hell he was. And then I remembered I think I claimed he had an STD and he definitely boasted how he would be a #1 selling artist after he massively lost Idol last year.
Well, clearly he isn’t selling #1 albums because he’s sitting home at night tweeting about American Idol. I mean, that’s what I do (even worse, I blog about it too), but I’m a 25 year old who’s clearly single because on dates all I want to do is talk about boy bands and why J Lo should never be trusted to judge anyone’s singing. (Wanna go grab a drink, boys??), and not claiming to be this giant superstar!
Anyway, Stefano is bitter and may or may not still have STDs (allegedly)
I’m jealous of you Phillip Phillips…. but my boy band dance moves are way better
Integrity? It’s f**kin’ American Idol not the Presidential election… calm down, homie!
But, he got what he wanted; press. I actually stopped working to write about this, but I’m smarter and still going to claim he may have a STD (allegedly) and only sold about 200 records (does he even have an album out?? I don’t even care.) soooooo me and Phillip Squared win. And yes, we are on a team.
Stefano obviously shaves his chest and doesn’t look like this:
oh stop it!
But seriously… that song “Home” is still so good. It’s been 48 hours and I’m still super into it. Suck on that Stefano!
-Rocco
Stefano Langone Is Not On A Roll
Posted on: April 28, 2012
- In: Music
- 3 Comments
I know this is about 19 days after the fact but it’s not breaking news that Stefano Langone was going to release a crappy song, or the fact that The Revolution was broken but I troubleshoot-ed that shit.
Stefano was on Idol this past Thursday to perform his new song “On A Roll” and it’s like Jason Derulo and Jay Sean had a baby with a disorder.
It was so bad no one put the performance video on Youtube, so here’s the audio. I’m assuming the performance was hilarious though.
I can not wait to drunk dance to this all summer in dive bars because I’ll put this on the juke box. Stefano Langone can thank me now for the royalty check that will be sent to him in August.
PS an actual lyric is “my ex wanna sex tonight”. <— I just can’t with this fool.
-Rocco
Remember when 5 minutes ago I said that to find love you need to go on American Idol, but only had one example???
Well, fellow Revolution-er Sassycatz just hit me with some info about another love connection!!
Apparently, my favorite Mucinex endorser Haley Reinhart and my favorite person who I forgot about, Stefano Langone, are doing it.
hehe *phlegm* sorry Casey
Word on the street is these two went to James Durbin’s wedding together and James Durbin said they were dating and I trust James Durbin because people with Tourette’s always tell the truth and I’m pretty sure a doctor told me that.
They make a cute couple… I support this. But I do feel bad for Casey Abrams. I hope his stomach doesn’t explode over this.
I need the love of my double bass
PS Thanks Sassycatz for the tip!
-Rocco
Forget Talk Real Slow…. she sounds like she’s rapping like Busta Rhymes compared to this guy.
JAMES DURBIN TALKS SOOOOOOO SLOW!! I can’t even explain to you how I wanted to hang up on him because I was on the edge of my seat wanting him to just spit the words out. It drove me banana sandwich!!
He did not talk as fast as the GIF above suggests. In fact, he made me feel like I was on speed. SO SLOW!!
This is what I learned about the Durbinator during the conference call. (This version is sprinkled with funny pictures and this version (HERE) is sprinkled with complete sentences. Read both.)
1) He has social awkwardness (he said that not me, so put your red pen used for hate mail down!) and he better not blame it on Tourette’s. I think it’s because he talks so goddamn slow no one wants to listen to him.
not awkward. I just get this close to talk to people.
2) He took about 5 minutes to say he wanted to play himself in a movie which I believe is called nepotism.
I rock!
3) And then he decided Matt Damon will play him and Steven Segal will play the older version of him. Because ethnicity changes as you get older, didn’t you know??
4) He’s obsessed with Stefano. He confirmed Stefano will be his best man and Paul is a groomsman. I will obviously live blog this wedding because I will be Paul’s date. See you there.
Rocco, will you go to James' wedding with me??
(What a ridiculous photograph. That is hilarious)
5) Oh and he’s definitely stalking Chris Jericho. He loves him so much he’d throw Stefano in front of a car to walk side by side with Chris Jericho. He didn’t say that, but I can read between the lines.
besties!
Good times.
I can’t get over how slow he talked… it was astounding to me the amount of time it took him to get a sentence out. I apologize if either recap is incoherent… I’m proud that I wasn’t in the fetal position rocking back and forth due to the anxiety the speed of his speech gave me.
-Rocco
P Mac Thank You For Smiling Again
Posted on: May 5, 2011
I saw this last night but couldn’t bring myself to post it because it would make me too happy, and I wanted to be in a crappy mood so I could make fun of the mess that was Idol last night and use that as an excuse for when I receive hate mail from Jacob Lusk supporters. <—- SERIOUSLY… WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?!?
P Mac where are you in my life???
-Rocco
Pure crap. Pure crap! I lose stuff all the time and me and Reeg have never hung out.
Stefano was on Regis and Kelly and he sang a really extremely boring song. Like I didn’t even watch the whole thing. But, the synch is messed up so he looks like he’s in slow motion and it makes it so dramatic and kind of funny.
Oh and he got to meet a Spice Girl. WTF?
I’m clearly not losing things hard enough.
-Rocco
Well, my favorite gudio is gone. Once again, Italian-Americans got the boot on a respectable television show and now once again we are represented by Jersey Shore and Mob Wives (don’t even watch this show). We will be deported soon. We’ll just have to get Pauly D on American Idol one of these days… to get a good rep going.
Sorry this whole press conference thing is like 3 hours after the fact, my little Apple Jax stopped by for a hot minute and that turned into me playing with a Fischer Price kitchen and eating fake bacon with my little prince. <—– I’m playing with a child by the way, Apple Jax is not a 24-year-old man… he’s 14 months.
Stefano got kicked off the show because no one loves him and you can read my half-assed serious article HERE. Seriously. Click that. Read it. Love it. Thanks.
I was so excited to write the Revolution take on this whole interview because Stefano seemed like a little douche bag the whole time. I know that’s mean… but all of a sudden, dude got cocky. But, that is just the guido in him, so I shouldn’t knock it… in some ways, it made him more attractive.
Once again, no one likes me apparently, and I didn’t get to ask my cannoli question, but whatever. (I totally hit the right button by the way). I guess Entertainment Weekly is more important than me. Even though I was silenced… I learned a lot.
-Stefano will be the best man in James Durbin’s wedding. And I took that as James not having any friends in real life. He didn’t know anyone good enough to be his best man before Stefano?? Evaluate your life James.. evaluate it!
EVALUATE!
- He likes Mark Ballas. Who the f**k cares about Mark Ballas?? He’s a dancer in a publicity relationship with Pia. I don’t care… and I’m sure no one else cares. (Unless, you all care. Then that was for you)
- He didn’t play piano because he only plays piano when he plays songs from his soul, like his heartfelt originals. Soooooo, he’s too good of a musician to play the piano while playing covers??? Cool. I guess Casey should evaluate his life too?
-He can tap into the Bruno Mars market and sound because no one else is at this moment. He literally said that. Umm well hate to break it to you Steffy…. BUT BRUNO MARS TAPPED INTO THAT MARKET!
- He wants to collaborate with rappers. Oh my Oprah… why wasn’t he this Italian on the show?? I would have picked up the phone and actually voted. There is nothing I love more than a douche bag guido. Seriously. It’s mine and Big D’s dream for me.
- He kept saying “lucky #7″. I wish he would’ve stopped.
- Apparently, he’s from Seattle. I don’t believe that. No Italians are from Seattle.
And for my absolute favorite fun fact: He used to go to the gym and practice his performing face in the mirror. So, this is what he did at the gym:
I wonder how STD guy is doing??? I hope he has a curable STD, as opposed to an incurable one.
Stefano seemed really confident and ready to move on and have a career on his own… which is good. If he really is collaborating with rappers… I’m pretty sure I’ll be in love with his music.
Don’t forget to go HERE (in case I break up with my sugar daddy 
)
-Rocco
If anyone’s hand is raised you are probably blind and someone read out the headline to this.
1) Awww Scotty Playa Playa must have loved the baseball game. That’s cute. My heart is melting.
2) Did I ever tell you how much I hate bowling?? HATE IT! I’m so awful at it. But, if Casey Abrams took me bowling, I’d totally go and then make out with him.
3) Jacob wants to go to the spa?? SHOCKING!
I’m just gonna end on that note.
-Rocco
I Love “Hey, Soul Sister”
Posted on: April 22, 2011
This is a brilliant pop song. If you hate this song, you should probably take anti-depressants.
You know who else loves this song??
Jacob Lusk! Look at that bounce in his step!! Look at the swinging of his hips!! Look at the up and down motion of his shoulders!!
Is it really mean if I call him super gay?? Probably. But the more I think about it, American Idol needs a gay, black man… they’ve never had one.
Thank you Jacob Lusk for covering that demographic. Oh and who in the hell is voting for you that you are always safe?!?!!?
-Rocco
