Posts Tagged ‘Super Bowl’
Posted February 7, 2012on:
What the what???
Is that for real??
Apparently, 166.8 million people watched this happen:
They say Madonna’s crotch has something to do with that as well, but who knows?? I’m not going to show a picture of that. Again.
She is an idiot. She’s the Yoko Ono of all idiots.
Gisele is seriously pissed because God ignored her very important chain letter prayer, and Tommy Brady lost the super bowl. But, IT’S NOT HIS FAULT!!!
On her way out of the stadium last night, the supermodel was heckled by New York Giants fans … one who screamed, “Eli owns your husband.”
Gisele didn’t shout back … but turned to a friend and said, “My husband can not fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”
(Sorry about the man in the beginning. Ignore him.)
I’ve never seen Gisele get this upset when Leo DiCaprio lost an Oscar every year they were together. She needs to calm down and just do whatever she does.
Plus, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to catch anything that wasn’t her light at a photo shoot.
Posted February 6, 2012on:
Remember when Gisele Bundchen sent an email chain letter asking all her buddies to get down on one knee and pray that Tommy wins the Super Bowl???
Well, it’s really awkward this morning because apparently no one did that… Tom Brady threw like a girl and lost the game for his entire team. Whoops!
What’s even more awkward is the photographer snapping photos of Gisele apologizing to Tommy for her apparent lack of friendship with the Lord.
They totally had sympathy sex.
Okay… there are gonna be more super bowl posts apparently, because this is all anyone cares about.
Anyway, Katy Perry most definitely, probably and certainly was drunk.
Also, at some Super Bowl party that Katy Perry performed at there was a dedication to Tim Tebow from the drunky above. She dedicated “Peacock” to him.
I’m sure both their parents are supporting this relationship.
This Is Your Token Super Bowl Post Part 3: Yes, I’m Breaking This Into 3 Posts Because I’m Shameless
Posted February 6, 2012on:
So, where did we leave off?? Madonna’s crotch?? Oh great.
5) Halftime show:
Madonna tried to make herself relevant again b y performing at the half time show. It was all good before she sang that mess of a new song “Give Me All Your Luvin”.
The best part of the entire show was Cee Lo in his sparkly priest robe:
He was loving it and stole the show from Madonna.
6) The rest of the game happened and the Giants won.
7) Betty White made commentary on the super bowl because she’s the queen of everything.
Okay… I’m done with my recap. I never want to talk about football again.
First off, I honestly had forgotten who this woman was. I said “Melanie Amaro?? Who the hell is that??” out loud to myself. And then I realized she won X Factor, but the world already doesn’t care.
So, once I went through that emotional rollercoaster… I remembered this!
Remember that?? When she completely lost her shit on stage and spoke in tongues and accents?? GOD IT WAS GOOD TELEVISION.
Anyway, bitch lost her accent again and Elton John out shined her in the new Pepsi commercial.
I never want to drink Pepsi again. WHERE’S THE ACCENT?!?! After all that “this is the real Melanie, mon!” she’s back to pretending to be not from a fun island in the Caribbean. LAME!
I don’t really get the obsession with Tim Tebow, except that he’s attractive and he’s hilariously into praying in the middle of the football field, but John Legend has a man crush on Tebow.
He has transformed his “Ordinary People” into “Ordinary Tebow” and it’s a beautiful ballad.
Are people that upset he’s not involved in the super bowl?? It’ll be okay. I bet he’s watching the puppy bowl anyway, because Gisele has got God on lockdown for Sunday.
And by crap, I mean humor.
Apparently, the world shuts down when the championship of football happens and everyone only talks about the game and the commercials.
I’m going to jump on that band wagon, because I don’t wanna be left out and left in the Doritos cheese dust by my competitors.
1) The pug Doritos commercial is funny. I want a pug. I want to name my pug Amadeus Amadeus. Ask anyone who knows me.
Look how cute. They’re so ugly they’re cute. They’re like bulldogs… both look like they got hit by a mack truck… yet I can’t help but squishing their little faces and showering them with hugs. (I’ve never actually met a bulldog, but I’m confident that’s what would happen)
2) Cindy told me about this commercial and I guess Doritos have nothing but money to spend because there were like 48758394 commercials for them. We get it.
That is so gross and creepy… yet funny.
I’ve never wanted to eat Doritos less in my life.
You would think she shouted “death to America” the way people are freaking out over this National Anthem thing. I didn’t realize how uptight people get when their sports are mixed in with a song about America… we all remember the Lee bear debacle that annoyed me so much, I think I now actually hate the game of football?? Yes we do, and I’m angry just bringing it up again. Sorry.
Below is Christina Aguilera singing the National Anthem and she messed up the lyrics. I didn’t even notice. And I guess that means I’m a bad American.
Instead of singing the line “o’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming,” Christina sang “what so proudly we watched at the twilight’s last gleaming.”
Clearly she just wanted to watch Twilight… and I can’t blame her. I’d rather watch a totally inconceivable plot line than football sometimes.
Christina Aguilera then released a statement because I’m sure people forced her too, even though she doesn’t see the big deal.
I got so caught up in the moment of the song that I lost my place. I can only hope that everyone could feel my love for this country and that the true spirit of its anthem still came through.
She actually fears her life…. read that statement. That last sentence is basically saying… “please don’t burn me at the stake.”
If you asked me to recite the lines of the National Anthem.. I wouldn’t be able too and I love America. Hello?? Abe Lincoln is my boy and I’m convinced Ben Franklin is in my bloodline.
Give the girl a break and if you hate her… I want you to call me and sing the National Anthem… and you better not F up because I’ll put your ass on a boat and send you back.
My future boss, Simon Cowell, paid 3 million bucks to have a 30 second ad on during the Super Bowl.
It was the best thing I’ve ever seen (I didn’t see the J Biebs commercial… but I’m sure that’d come in at a close second)
I should probably get that tattooed somewhere on my body.
I’m pretty sure he had Susan Boyle and/or Il Divo sing the background during that spot.
He’s so resourceful.
** Edit** Apparently people are sipping on the haterade and stomping this whole thing. They clearly are wooed by Ryan Seacrest’s perfect teeth.