Posts Tagged ‘superman’
37!?!?!?!? WHAT!?!? Bradley Cooper you good-looking older man, you!
I decided to use the photo of B Coop looking like a wax figure in a tuxedo because I figured it showed him looking more like a 37-year-old who had plastic surgery than any other picture, which I guess is convenient because he’s really a 37-year-old man.
Actually, he looks pretty good for his age and his pretty blue eyes don’t look a day over 29.
Oh and B Coop might be Lex Luther in the new Superman movie, Man Of Steel. I hope him and Henry Cavill make out. That happens between Superman and Lex Luther right??? They have a weird relationship I believe.
-Rocco
- In: Movies
- 3 Comments
The more I see from the filming of Man Of Steel, the less I want to see this movie. I thought Clark Kent was supposed to be a newspaper reporter?? If that’s still the case there is no need for muscles. You only need buff index fingers so you can poke at the typewriter.
Why is Henry Cavill playing Superman as the strongest man alive?? And I’m also pretty sure the salary of a newspaper reporter could afford you some clean undershirts. Just saying.
I see no signs of him being a journalist. If the veins protruding from his arms are the signs of it… I need to hit the gym.
-Rocco
- In: Movies
- 5 Comments
I’m afraid of this new superman. Not only does he look homeless in those pants, but he looks like a homeless man who does nothing but bench press the park bench he sleeps under. (Are park benches even heavy?? I never tried to lift one but for this purpose of this post let’s all agree they are freakin’ heavy.) He’s so ripped and he can probably snap anybody in half.
Why does the new Superman have to look so violent? I get that he beats up the bad guys, but can’t he shower in between the bad guys? He looks like he might have Lindsay Lohan teeth and that’s not the Superman I want flying around in tights.
-Rocco
You all know by now that my superhero allegiance totally and rightfully belongs to Andrew Garfield and his Spiderman tights, but after seeing Henry Cavill unshaven and portraying the Superman who drank a vat of kryptonite… I’m on board with this one too.
What can I say?? I root for the underdogs.
(Question: Man Of Steel is the superman movie right?? I hope so because than the paragraph above isn’t funny at all)
I’m so intrigued to see how Superman became homeless. How they are going to tie to crack den into his life is super interesting.
-Rocco
This is honestly a headline over that so-called entertainment news source, E! News:
Who is the blogger over there??? How is that even a fair competition?? And if any of you are even choosing Henry Cavill over my Garfield Boo!, we currently are in the biggest fight you have ever been in.
Andy is tasteful and I can’t see the outline of his package (ps Mamadukes is so proud when posts like this sprinkle out of my fast typing fingers). True, I can see the outline of his ass… but I would see that in his hipster pants anyway.
Plus, Andrew Garfield is extremely limber….
….and Henry Cavill punches like a girl.
That punch wouldn’t hurt a bad guy. The only tactic he could possibly use is the massive distraction that is his bulge.
See my point?? E! News can just take this article down and send their apology in the form of The Amazing Spiderman premiere tickets to me within the next week.
*edit* I did a little more research (read: continued to Google Andrew Garfield because it’s an addiction!) and it turns out Spiderman sports a bulge too. Whoops!
I’m okay with that. It’s subtle. Subdued. And Spiderman shoots white stuff out of his wrists. And also… never mind.
(This post will definitely land me a job.)
-Rocco
PS Look at this great photo I found during my “research”
Ignore the guy on the left and focus on the suspenders, hair, and Robert Pattinson’s jawline. You’re welcome.
- In: Movies
- 5 Comments
You and I both know I’m into superhero tights on men. And by that I mean, Andrew Garfield as Spiderman is my favorite thing that’s happening on planet Earth right now.
But I’m disturbed by Henry Cavill’s Superman costume. It might as well be painted on his body. And I’m pretty sure all his sperm will die from the body heat it’s being subjected to. Just trust me, I took Biology sophomore year in high school.
Superman is now infertile thanks to his costume that is way too tight for the male human body.
He looks absolutely ridiculous and he throws a punch like a girl. Maybe if the suit wasn’t suffocating his body he could move his arms a little better.
-Rocco
Of course this is happening. If Christopher Nolan can film The Dark Knight Rises in the middle of Pittsburgh… there is no reason why whoever is directing Superman can’t film this out in the open of where ever this is being filmed.
These photos are so grainy, I’m starting to believe that it’s just a grown man playing dress up and acting out his superhero fantasies. What a freak!
*sigh* I miss Andrew Garfield
-Rocco
- In: Movies
- 3 Comments
Because no one really likes Batman sans Heath Ledger anymore, and Andrew Garfield’s Spiderman is now for girls (because he’s sex in tights), Hollywood needs another homoerotic superhero to be there for the manly men of America. (Sorry Captain America… maybe next time and sit the hell down Green Lantern.)
Henry Cavill is Superman and here is a picture of him breaking into a bank and stealing America’s money because we all really hate the Republicans and that’s what we want to do.
Not into it. In fact, he’s probably a Republican and his outfit hints that.
Why is he wear equestrian boots that I own?? And where the hell is his red underwear?? What kind of American superhero is this??
-Rocco
Tom Welling Looks Like This Now…
Posted on: May 8, 2011
- In: Tidbits
- 3 Comments
Tom Welling is out promoting the series finale of Smallville, which I seriously thought was cancelled years ago. Honestly. I thought the show ended when I was in high school, which is at least 5 years ago. But, apparently he’s promoting it one last time…. because it’s the longest running show that no one watches.
Tom Welling is hot.
If Tom Welling told me he was actually Superman… I’d believe him. He looks like Superman.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO SUPERMAN’S MOM, IF SUPERMAN HAD A MOM!!
-Rocco
Superheroes Are Becoming Hot
Posted on: January 30, 2011
Hollywood knows what’s up.
Between Andrew Garfield filling out the Spiderman tights and now this new Superman guy…. I’ve never wanted to see these superhero movies more.
Henry Cavill has landed the role of Superman in the Zack Snyder reboot of the Superman franchise.
Guess my kryptonite baby
This sex pot British man will star in the tentatively titled Man Of Steel (stupid name.. they should change that) and it’s slated to be released in December 2012.
I hope the world is still around to see this, because I want to see Henry Cavill in tights.
Cavill may look familiar because he also wore tights in the Showtime series The Tudors. He must really like tights.
Trust me... I have tights underneath this ridiculous outfit.
But fret not ladies… he wears outfits that don’t require tights.
I'm hot. Looks wise... not temperature wise. Though this tie is a little snug.
I’m on board with this whole thing. It’s like Zack Snyder is reading my brain waves.
-Rocco
