Posts Tagged ‘Susan Boyle’
Listen… I know sometimes I make jokes about people, but I feel that the people I make fun of deserve it. Kind of like now.
Nigel Lythgoe is still going on and on about Pia Toscano (no one cares anymore) to get in the press, and since he knows Simon Cowell and X Factor will do well and there is nothing he can do about it, he decided to say harsh things about NBC’s The Voice.
“After the initial stage of that, the gag’s over,” he said. “I mean that’s it. Once you’ve chosen your people, you know what they look like and then it’s straight mentoring. I don’t know the program, but the concept is you choose the voice by not seeing them. So you can pick a Susan Boyle—Shrek’s older sister, you can pick the voice and then you mentor that person. So once that first initial week is over, then it becomes a normal mentoring show.”
He just called Susan Boyle Shrek’s sister. Ummm?? Let’s be more of a jerk. Please. And look who’s talking… you can’t call someone ugly if you can’t win a beauty pageant yourself. Just saying.
Oh and this is my absolute favorite, when he compares the minutia of American Idol and all the problems around the world.
“There are always conspiracy theories, but you know we are so careful,” Nigel said. “[Voting is] done through AT&T and we get the results. It’s done so openly. We’ve got all the terrible things happening around the world with Libya, with Japan and what’s everyone talking about? ‘How did Pia get voted off?’”
Well Nigel, the last time I checked you won’t shut up about all the “drama” you create on American Idol, so why don’t you start talking about the real problems of the world? Don’t sit there and pretend like that’s what you’re concerned about.
This man really annoys me if you couldn’t already tell.
My future boss, Simon Cowell, paid 3 million bucks to have a 30 second ad on during the Super Bowl.
It was the best thing I’ve ever seen (I didn’t see the J Biebs commercial… but I’m sure that’d come in at a close second)
I should probably get that tattooed somewhere on my body.
I’m pretty sure he had Susan Boyle and/or Il Divo sing the background during that spot.
He’s so resourceful.
** Edit** Apparently people are sipping on the haterade and stomping this whole thing. They clearly are wooed by Ryan Seacrest’s perfect teeth.
poettree52 on twitter (I’m certain that isn’t their actual birth name…because no one adds numbers to their name. That’s silly.) sent me a picture of Lee bear.
But, it’s not just any old picture of Lee bear… it’s a Christmas picture.
And nay, it’s not just any old Christmas picture… it’s a Christmas Jamboree picture. Now, I recently fell in love with the word Jamboree (so much I’m going to capitalize it as if it was a proper noun). I didn’t use it all that much… and by all that much, I mean I never used it in my life. But from now on any party, event, gala, etc that is in my life…. it’s going to be a Jamboree.
I get so off topic… I apologize for my vocabulary tangent… back to this picture that is the most perfect thing I’ve seen in the past 12 hours. (I change my mind very frequently about what is the most perfect thing I’ve seen)
I won’t be all dramatic and say it’s from 1997 (lol) buuuuuuut it’s definitely between the years of 2005-2008. I don’t know. That’s a complete guess. But he doesn’t have fluffy hair and he has a new shirt. And pollution must have not been such an issue because those stars are shining quite bright.
Ok, so now that we saw that gem… here are the Christmas albums he’s battling with. (and by battle I mean I’m going to vote at the end of this, and I hope you say your opinion too… this is an open forum people…. it’s take a village to make Lee bear win contests… it takes a village)
Christmas tree?? CHECK! Frayed cream-colored scarf??? CHECK! Perfectly groomed goatee?? CHECK! Come hither look?? CHECK! CHECK! CHECK!…
But I don’t want to spend Christmas in Tennessee (unless my faux BFF Taylor Swift invites me)…. I just imagine a lot of fried meat at the dinner table and to be honest… that makes me want to vom.
Now, I’m not even a huge *Nsync fan (don’t even get me started on the epic battle between BSB and *Nsync that has been raging on in my head since I was 12) but you can’t deny the Christmas glee in that photo above. I Mean, Chris Kirkpatrick even went as far to look like an elf with that hair. (oh wait.. he looked like that all the time?? That’s dedication to the holiday) And I don’t mean to sway you with music to accompany that picture buuuuut this is a good song.
WOW! The Christmas spirit just consumed my soul with this one…. I mean if anyone has a voice like an angel its this chick. She looks regal in this picture… almost like she knows the meaning of life. And that bright light shining??? I believe that is the answers to all the worlds questions. This is gonna be a tough one to beat and I don’t even need to show you video.
Okay, okay… so we have Lee D., Danny Gokey, *Nsync, and Susan Boyle…. who wins???
I already decided I don’t want to go to Tennessee with Danny Gokey, as much as he tries to seduce me with his well manicured face, I just don’t like fried meat. So Danny’s OUT!
* Nsync wins too much shit. And I don’t like Justin Timberlake circa then… I want him when he is all sexy and trying to be an actor. Yogi Bear anybody??? So, *Nsync OUT!!
Susan Boyle…. I don’t really want to know the meaning of life… takes all the fun out of it. So, you can take your millions and your infinite knowledge and not win my contest that only I am voting on. Susan Boyle OUT!
Ohhhhh would ya look at that??? Guess who won?? LEE BEAR!! YAYAYAYYAYA!
Oh you guys did NOT see that one coming!
You’re welcome Lee bear… you’re welcome.
Remember…. it takes a village.
I know I joke about her… and still don’t understand why she sells millions upon millions of albums…. but she choked this morning on The View and I feel bad. Like she literally choked. Coughed. Had a hair ball. I don’t know, I’m not her trachea, but something was going on.
She was singing “O Holy Night” (like an angel of course) and she messed up (*gasp*). I don’t know what happened but stumbled and looked flustered.
Kudos to the fact that she kept singing… I would definitely cry. And then run to Joy Behar for consoling.
And thus the conclusion to my thesis…. Susan Boyle doesn’t lip synch. Ever.
God, I should be an f-in scientist.
Don’t fret. Turn that frown upside down.
Just listen to this.
That was pretty awesome, admit it. Love that mash-up.
Yes, I’m sure it is fun to sell a bunch of albums and to be able to say “yo I sold 985735743 albums last week”…. but in the 2010 market that’s not gonna happen. And that definitely isn’t going to happen when Susan Boyle is singing christmas songs to the middle-aged in middle America.
And, yes I’m defending this because I like Live It Up, and I really like Lee bear’s hair, but are you going to stop listening to people who don’t debut in the top 10 on Billboard?? Probably not. If that was true I would have had to give up on the Backstreet Boys back in 2005… and we all know that will NEVER happen.
The album just came out, unless you are an established musician your first week sales aren’t going to get everyone jazzed. It takes a lot of promotion and touring and time for your album to be out in the world.
And to really drive the point home… I’ll never sell 38,000 of anything in my life.
Lack of sales doesn’t make the album “bad” to people who already bought it, and the only thing that can happen is more people will eventually buy it.
So we all know what this is going to lead too…. THUMBS UP PICTURES!
Ok clearly Lee only did a thumbs up 3 times in his life. But you get the idea.
This was obviously just to make me feel better. Hope it helped you though.
Sooooo I got bad news and I got good news. What do you want first?
I’ll just give it to you all at once. Like ripping off a band-aid kids.
So word on the street is Lee bear didn’t sell that many albums… and by not many I mean 40-50K. (wow… JK, scratch that… it was 38K) Sad story.
Buuuuuut, it won’t be offic until tomorrow morning and plus how many albums have you ever sold?!?! What is that?? None?? That’s what I thought… so Lee D. has technically sold more than you. (Excuse that rant… those are for the people who are judging me because I did a lot of smack talking about him having a strong first week… and I was clearly wrong… but it will work out, which brings me to my words below. Please continue to read.)
I don’t think he, or we, or anyone else should fret. Only one single has been released, and he hasn’t even toured yet. And plus he came out with some heavy hitters this week (Rihanna, that Opera singing little robot kid, Rascal Flatts, and Susan Boyle who I just don’t get and never will)…. I think there is still A LOT of time to tell before we get him a ticket on the doom train.
So keep your head up Lee bear and friends… Plus, the album is good. Like the Backstreet Boys always say… it is quality not quantity. Words to live by.
And in even more exciting news Kanye West released My Dark Twisted Fantasy and Nicki Minaj released Pink Friday and both albums are doing extremely well. ‘Ye has sold 500K or more and Robot Minaj isn’t far behind apparently. Wow! That’s pretty awesome….. that is DEFINITELY more albums than you’ll ever sell.
And in even better news Rihanna has toned down the Ronald McDonald look. This cranberry hue is much better.