Posts Tagged ‘Teen Mom’
Wow. If that’s not a cry for help, I don’t know what is.
Teen Mom, Farrah Abraham is a fame whore so she made a sex tape, and then tried to justify it.
(if there is a god– that is a real book!)
You know what Teen Mom did when she felt down about her life (probably because she sucks at being a mother)?? She made a sex tape.
“I have no relationships and I’m, like, sad sometimes. So taking all this into consideration, which some find it hard to, that’s what brought me here today,” says Abraham. “I felt this was my way of embracing my sexuality and being happy for me.”
No. Just no. That’s not really how that works, so you (and probably your daughter) are going to have one hell of a therapy bill.
You know what I’m doing when I feel a little sad? Eat some Pinkberry and dream of the day I’ll accompany One Direction on their tour as their BFF/ Harry Styles or Zayn Malik’s girlfriend (I can’t decide who I would choose after they both fall desperetaly in love with me).
My absolute favorite part of this Teen Mom interview is when she won’t say how much she was paid for her sex tape because “she’s private like that”. Really? Private like that? Well, the world just saw your vagina, so your privacy has kind of gone to shit, dumbass.
Oh and she also wants to open a restaurant, which I’m sure will be as great as Guy Fieri’s shit show in Times Square.
But her kid’s college is paid for. I hope that kid peaces out at 18 and never looks back.
-Rocco
Teen Mom’s Make Music Videos Now
Posted on: August 20, 2012
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
OH MY GOD.
I am so sorry to do this to you guys on a Monday morning but I’m hoping one of you call child services because I imagine they get busier throughout the week.
Farrah Abrams who was apparently on Teen Mom (I know. Shocking I don’t watch that show) has decided she’s a singer now and released a song/music video for “On My Own”.
Now, let me prepare you— it’s not so much singing as someone hitting a Casio keyboard over her talking out of tune, but the video is the important part here.
Why is her daughter dancing around the grave of the dude who apparently knocked her up? This I don’t know. This is something that together we can ask child services.
I guess this is what happens when the Teen Mom checks from MTV run out.
-Rocco
- In: Television
- 2 Comments
We can officially call these bitches dumb.
Teen Mom, Leah Messer, is pregnant for a second time, because having a set of twins ruin her life as a teenager wasn’t enough. But don’t worry, she’s engaged to another guy who is the father to the new bun in her oven. I’m secretly hoping for triplets.
You two girls got mama her two new boobs. Now I need another one for my chin implant
She’s 19 by the way.
A source has confirmed to E! News that the 19-year-old is expecting her third child with boyfriend Jeremy Calvert. Strike that, we can now ID Calvert as Messer’s newly minted fiancé!
The duo began dating in August, and Calvert reportedly popped the question with a 1.5 carat princess-cut diamond on Christmas Day. There’s no word yet on how far along in the pregnancy she is.
I hope there’s a new show on MTV called “Oops.. I’m A Teen Mom For A Second F**ckin’ Time Because I’m An Idiot”. I should really be a producer.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
This isn’t as shocking as them having a second child just to get on the second season of MTV’s Teen Mom, but I’d still assume that they can tell the difference between a teenager and an adult.
Teen Mom, Farrah (Yes… the one who was a total bitch to her mom because she’d rather go out and party than take care of her child after she got knocked up at the age of 16. But how dare her mom lay down some ground rules??? Farrah is clearly a responsible teenager) tweeted about the impending birth of Kourtney Kardashian’s second child:
“I’m shocked Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant again. Did she not learn anything from TEEN MOM? Maybe it’s a fake pregnancy like Kim’s wedding. SAD,”
“Age and money honestly do not change a person’s poor choice. Quit making excuses.”
“For all who misunderstood in regards to Kourtney K. — I hope she takes her relationship with her boyfriend more seriously for their children,”
I’m shocked this intelligent young woman doesn’t know the definition of “teen”. I’m pretty sure the 32-year-old woman who is Kourtney, isn’t a teenager. And I’m also pretty sure she isn’t sitting around watching Teen Mom… she has her own reality show to script.
My absolute favorite part of this Twitter feud is the reaction that Kourtney and baby daddy, Scott Disick had:
“Why would I have anything to do with Teen Mom? I’m 32 years old! I may look young honey, but don’t get it twisted,”
“We’re not teenagers ya fucking moron.”
As stupid as the Kardashian’s are you have to admit that they are coming off as professors of awesome with this one. They may be fame whores, but at least they can count how old they are. Apparently, Farrah can’t count.
Nothing like a good ‘ol Twitter feud to start a Monday before I seriously contemplate a nap.
-Rocco
I Really Don’t Understand Why Me And Taylor Swift Don’t Have BFF Sleepovers
Posted on: August 11, 2011
All joking aside… we would get a long so well. I’m sure everyone says that about their favorite celebrity, but this is actually true. So, don’t even pretend like what I’m saying is crazy.
“Teen Mom, 16 & Pregnant, and 90s One Hit Wonders“
– Taylor Swift admitting to Teen Vogue what she loves watching on TV!
You don’t even know me and you’re thinking “Taylor and Rocco should be BFF STAT!”
-Rocco
- In: Music
- 2 Comments
At one time I always listened to them. I even paid money to go see them live, but I kinda forgot they existed.
They released a new song/video for “Back Down South” and I’m not a huge fan, but here it is for you KOL lovers.
I think this is like the hick/white trash episode of Teen Mom and Caleb Followill has an awful haircut. Those are my only thoughts.
I still like the Only By The Night album better.
-Rocco
- In: Television
- 4 Comments
STE-VUN!!!!
Remember Laguna Beach??? Remember The Hills?? Well, do you remember the original Hills with Lauren Conrad, before Spencer Pratt started getting religious with crystals, before Heidi was made of synthetic material, before Kristin Cavallari did whatever she did on that show, and waaaaay before Ryan Cabrera started dating that girl who dated the guy who looked homeless and had two first names for a full name??
I know.. I shudder thinking about it too. That’s what I like to call… the douche chills.
Anyway…Lauren Conrad who escaped those charades to do actual work (I think she has a fashion line, I’ve never seen it, and she definitely wrote a book called LA Candy, which, shockingly enough, is not about drugs) was supposed to have a new reality show about her career.
Stay out of my personal life.. my gah!
She filmed a pilot for MTV and when they watched it this was their response:
We decided not to go ahead with the show. There were talks about whether we could somehow manage to put together a special based on that footage but that’s also a big question mark based on her interest in that and the finances. We love her! We would love her on our network!
What that means is “sorry you are not a pregnant teen, a whore, on drugs, and/or a fist pumping guido… maybe next year?? It would be great if you could be a combination of all of it. Thanks!”
And in response to MTV.. Lauren Conrad, who got classy and mature overnight apparently, said this…
“We sold a show to MTV, filmed it and are really proud of the final result. MTV felt the subject matter was too high brow for their audience and offered me the opportunity to change the show by incorporating more of my personal life. We agreed going into the project that this show would be an aspirational one, focusing on my career and my goals and not my personal relationships. We delivered the show that we sold and are sorry MTV didn’t feel their viewers were savvy enough to appreciate it.”
Kristin Cavallari is so pissed she didn’t come up with something as great and intelligent as that when there were rumors of her doing cocaine. She said something a long the lines of “STE-VUN!! Where’s Brody??”
See?? Not so powerful.
Forget Jesus and his WWJD campaign… my new motto is WWLCS? What would Lauren Conrad say? (WWOD… what would Oprah do? works just as well)
I’m ready to buy this chick’s book.
-Rocco
- In: Television
- 5 Comments
As much as I talk about and drool over the wonderful-ness of Oprah… I don’t really know anything about her.
I don’t like to think of her as a human being… to me she is a divine creature of awesome-ness and power. She can do whatever she wants and she can make whatever she wants possible. She’s like a female Jesus on planet Earth circa now.
Is that too much??? NO! In fact… I don’t think it’s enough.
Anyway… Oprah sat down with Piers Morgan as his first guest on Piers Morgan Tonight and I’m left with the remnants of it because I have no TV…. but I’ll take what I can of the Op.
OPRAH WAS A WHORE AND WANTED TO DIE??? I don’t like hearing this… it’s so sad. I had no idea she was preggers as a teenager. She would have been a great addition to Teen Mom on MTV. She would have created that series back then. Even Oprah turns a tough times into cash!
And now on to my favorite topic… LOVE!
Someone broke Oprah’s heart!!?? What a dick! They are obviously going to hell. I love how she was like “nahhh Stedman didn’t break my heart… he’s ma boo”. Well, she said that in so many words. I can’t fathom someone hurting a vulnerable Oprah. I can’t even fathom a vulnerable Oprah. If that was today, she could just look at them and kill them. (I have no actual proof of this, but I’m convinced she can do that). The next time I cry over a boy, I’m calling Oprah…. she’s so wise.
And now Oprah talks benjamins:
Oprah likes tequila when she writes checks. ME TOO! Every time I write out my rent check, I think of how I can fake my own death to get out of paying that money and then do a shot of tequila.
Piers Morgan is a great interviewer. I’m going to steal some of his questions for my interview Jamboree.
Rocco: Where do you keep your childhood diary???
Ohhh man... here we go
Lee bear: I didn’t have one.
Rocco: Where did you keep your childhood diary Lee??
Lee bear: Rocco… I didn’t have one. I’m a dude.
Rocco: *whispers* Say something cool like a vault or something
Lee Bear: Is this almost over??
Rocco: *defeated* You really had no diary??
Lee bear: No. Stop asking me that.
Rocco: Wanna play a board game?
Lee bear: Anything to keep you from asking me dumb questions.
This girl can't be serious....this better be over soon
-Rocco
Nat Portman Is Preggers
Posted on: December 27, 2010
I really have nothing else to say about this. Babies aren’t something to be funny about… babies are fun and adorable, but a serious responsibility. (I’ve been watching a lot of Teen Mom on MTV and that makes me realize babies aren’t just shit and giggles… though that’s a huge part of a baby’s life)
Natalie: Let's have a baby! Baby Daddy: Good plan, Nat!
This baby is going to be so freakin’ cute. CONGRATS!
-Rocco
