Posts Tagged ‘Toby Cavanaugh’
AGHHHHH THE BETRAYAL!!! AGHHHH SEASON FINALE!!! (I stole that red ‘A’ idea from ABC Family)
Question: Am I a pretty little liar or am I just a liar?
Anyway, welcome to the greatest most A.D.D. recap of Pretty Little Liars you will ever read. I hope you enjoy it— please don’t betray me! (HAH! Get it? Get it?!? Don’t worry if you don’t.. that made no sense) Let’s go:
PS Quotes from PLL fanatic, Juliet, will be sprinkled throughout— prepare for hilarity.
- When the episode starts off with an ambulance you know shit is bad.
- OH GOD WHY IS HANNA CRYING?!?!??! WHO IS DEAD?!?! IF THEY KILLED OFF CALEB I’M GOING TO MURDER SOMEONE!!!!
- Oh and of course they Quentin Tarentino’ed that and the episode starts 2 days prior to that drama rama scene.
- The girls are going to meet with Emily and have an intervention because her girlfriend, Rage Paige is A MURDERER!!!
I have rage.
- This is a really awkward intervention and Emily just said “friggin’ but she meant “f**kin’”.
- OHHH They whip out the earring… BOOM! Suck on that Emily.
- Emily hates all her friends and will obviously run into the arms of Rage Paige.
- Aria is all self involved because Ezra has a kid he doesn’t know about and she’s making it her problem.
- Spencer’s shirt has lambs on it and is hideous. She confronts Rage Paige and the rage is boiling. Spencer is a bad ass bitch. I like Spencer.
- Emily is pussy whipped.. sorry it had to be said. PLL makes Lesbians look bad.
Juliet: I have Emily’s shirt and Aria’s shoes.
Juliet: Is this “The BetrayAl: Inside Juliet’s Closet”?
Rocco: BAHAHHAHAHH!
- Paige just got a text about going to a cemetery. Probably so she can dig up Allie’s body and steal shit from her grave.
- Spencer and Hanna are really good at language. English and Spanish.
- ” Stand down, bitches. Play it my way and Emily stays safe- A”
- MONA ESCAPED!! MONA ESCAPED! That mental hospital has the absolute worst security because she just escaped looking like a nurse from 1940.
I’m just going to go, ok?
- The girls got a message to go to Allie’s grave and bring Maya’s bag.
- Oh and of course there’s a body bag involved— these bitches need to go tell their parents. I would have moved from this ridiculous town months ago.
- Hanna almost killed Caleb with a lamp and he’s going to the graveyard with them. I love when he’s being all superhero-y. I love him. Love him so so much.
- Emily is going out of town with Black Hanson while the trial for Maya’s trial is going on. Black Hanson is dodgy and will probably kill her. And yes… I think everyone is a killer on this show.
Rocco: You should style PLL
Juliet: I mean, dream job. Besides styling “A Very One Direction Christmas” album cover
(They NEED to make a Christmas album. I’ve never needed anything more)
- BUTT CHIN FALCON BOY RETURNS! CAW CAW! Slow motion run to Spencer and make out. and the camera is circling them. I’m getting nauseous and not just because of the double butt chins happening…. motion sickness.
My chin and I are back
- WTF?!?!? Maggie shows up at Ezra’s and Maggie doesn’t call Aria out for being a stalker and going to see her. Maggie can’t just show up with her short hair cut and secret baby. Ezra’s mom is going to cut her off.
-This is the most awkward thing ever— why is Aria sitting on the couch with Maggie? Sit with Ezra. Maggie of course asks Aria straight up why she hasn’t told him about the baby.
Juliet: OMG ALEX MAX IS EZRA’S BABY MAMA!!
Rocco: OMG IT IS!!!! At least she can run from ‘A’ by turning into a puddle.
- How did we all miss that Maggie was Alec Mack last week?
- Caleb is bringing a gun to the graveyard meeting because he’s a bad ass. I’m a democrat so I’m not all about guns—- but that’s hot.
I have a gun in my hat
- I don’t like when Mona wears a hoodie— that means trouble.
- Rosewood is falling apart apocalypse style and Spencer and Butt Chin are having sex. Like really? I mean I get it, but there is other shit going down. I guess teen sex trumps everything.
Let’s do it
Juliet: I’m glad Falcon Boy and Nancy Drew use a time like this to consummate their relationship!!
-Caleb is smart and bears arms.
My gun is a better idea than this hat
- And message for teens— teen sex is not like Spencer and Butt Chins. It’s way more awkward. There is no soundtrack.
Juliet: Now that Spencer lost her virginity, maybe she’ll stop dressing like a Von Trapp and studying so much.
- Oh that sex got Spencer all riled up! “I am so ready for this to be over”.
- Mona is listening to Rage Against the Machine and is ready for battle. And that mask!?!? GOD WHY IS THIS SHOW SO FRIGHTENING!!??
- Caleb is a super hero! A sexy sexy super hero.
Oh you know it!
- Emily is sleeping at Black Hanson’s caleb and gets a scary call “you have 1 minute— GET OUT!”. Bane just called Emily. Bane is pretty little liar.
Hello, Emily
- Black Hanson has the same shitty painted up boot as someone in the pictures of Maya before she died. HE KILLED HER!! Why is Black Hanson killing his cousin? Was Maya even black? Is that her cousin!? This show is the 8th wonder of the world.
Juliet: Is Black Hanson A or just a crazy black guy in an upper middle class whute suburban town emotionally distraught about the loss of his cousin and sexually frusturated about Emily’s homosexuality? ABC FAM!! I need ANSWERS GOD DAMN IT!
- Caleb is sexy and smart and is going to get Emily— I think? Of course Emily has no cell service
-Emily: ” you scared me half to death:
Black Hanson: “not really— but I will” <— WTF?!?? Who says that???
- So Black Hanson is not her cousin (or some serious incest going on) and he’s pissed at Emily? OH GOD! HE’S GONNA KILL RAGE PAIGE!! SHE’S BEEN KIDNAPPED!!
Juliet: I’m more disturbed by the fact Black Hanson loved his cousin more than him killing her!
- IF THEY KILL OFF CALEB I’M GOING TO MURDER! LIKE BLACK HANSON STYLE!!!
- I’m just going to say it: Black Hanson is a homophobe because he can’t stop killing lesbians.
-I’m so scared and so confused you guys. Were they cousins? Why is he killing lesbians? WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!??!
- The PLL’s walk in and no one is there— magic??? No Emily and No More Rage Paige ran out. Everything is moving too fast.
Juliet: I love how Emily left Rage Paige there to die!
- A LIGHTHOUSE?!??! HIDING IN A LIGHTHOUSE?!?!? Oh just get murdered now— prime murdering spot.
- Of course Emily is attacked by Black Hanson and she just tabbed the shit out of him.
- Caleb shows up super sexy, but super late and puts DOWN HIS GUN LIKE A GODDAMN IDIOT!!!
- DID CALEB GET SHOT?!?!? STOP IT !! WHAT?!? AGHHHHH
(I’m just going to write the rest of this in caps!— CAPS LOCK PARTY!)
Juliet: I can’t with this show! It has more suspense than a Liam Neeson movie!
Is that true?
-BUT SERIOUSLY— IF THEY KILL OFF CALEB… I WILL STRAIGHTEN Y HAIR EVERYDAY IN MEMORY OF HIM.
CALEB GOT SHOT!!!! CALEB GOT SHOT!! OH SHIT! (good thing his Twilight extra work is over)
Juliet: I’m crying. Caleb is Hanna’s tur love. Their love is parallel to Jack and Rose’s.
- THESE GIRLS HAVE NEVER NEEDED MORE THERAPY IN THEIR LIVES.
- Spencer feels like shit because Paige Rage is well, No Rage Paige.
- WHO CARES HOW EMILY IS HOLDING UP!!!– CALEB JUST GOT SHOT AND IS IN SURGERY!!
- “Emily I owe you one “- Bane called and said that.
No, but seriously Em… thanks!
- Garrett is free and he smiled a creepy smile.Garrett and Bane are sleeping together. Obviously.
- Mona is talking to Black Hooded Figure and setting up Rage Paige?? IM SO CONFUSED!
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT?!?!??! BUTT CHIN BUTT CHIN?!?!?! STOP IT STOP IT!!!
Told you my butt chin and I were super creepy!
IT’S NOT COMING BACK UNTIL OCTOBER 23?!?!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE?!??!
You guys… I have anxiety because of this show. I need to lie down.
-R
Pretty Little Liars: Caleb Can Kidnap Me Any Day And Pastor Ted Is Probably ‘A’
Posted on: August 8, 2012
Welcome to PLL “recap”, and I use that term very very loosely because this is definitely incoherent and through the eyes of a 25-year-old who has no business watching this show when I should be out doing adult things— like getting drunk and screaming at the Olympic games on the TV’s in bars.
Anyway, a lot of shit went down last week and I honestly can’t remember so go HERE to refresh if you must. Let’s get into this weeks shenanigans.
- Aria is the weirdest dresser ever.
- Maya had the same stamp on her wrist that Holden (the cage fighter with a heart condition) had. I don’t know what that means, but it’s apparently a big deal.
BUM BUM BUMMMMMM!
- Spencer forgot to apply to college and got a B on her homework. She’s freaking out and referencing Scooby Doo.
- The Allison look -a-like dumb girl invites the girls to a party at U Penn so Spencer can flirt with him/ sleep with him to get into college. I think that’s what’s happening here.
- OH NO! The police are at Hanna’s house and are asking for Hanna’s blood sample. COURT ORDERED! NOOOOOOOOO!
- Hanna’s mama calls Mrs. Lawyer Hastings because there is trouble.
- SLOW MO ACTION WITH HANNA AND CALEB STARING AT EACH OTHER DOWN THE HALL! I love them so much. His hair has a little less shine and I think it’s because his song is playing in the background.
- Caleb passes off the log in info for Maya’s website and this is their foreplay. So. Turned. On. By. Him.
- “The Apple Rose Grille at closing time. Go alone or Caleb pays- A” <– if ‘A’ hurts Caleb— I’ll cut ‘A’.
Don’t hurt me.
- Emily is a super lesbian and wearing plaid while talking to Paige, who literally has different hair every scene that she is in. I thought she had bangs last week?
-Ezra was fighting with his brother Wes and I assume it’s over their bitchy mother who offers money to their girlfriends to go away.
Hi. I’m Wes.
- OH SNAP! Aria just comes out and tells Ezra about his mother’s money offer.
- Ezra seems shocked that his mom is a giant bitch and he keep lying and things are shady. Basically Ezra is super poor and his family hates him because of that. He has to buy back some car that he sold and I don’t really care about this sub-plot.
I look great instagrammed
- Wren is blowing up Hanna’s phone and she is ignoring that shit. Rude.
- Emily’s outfit is even more super lesbian because she has converse to go with her plaid. At least she dresses better than Aria.
- Hanna told Emily all about the Maya website/videos— totally killed her Paige buzz.
- Pastor Ted is just all up on this show and flirting with Hanna’s mom again. HE’S SUCH A MAN WHORE! A JESUS LOVING MAN WHORE!
Remember. Jesus loves you
- I don’t know what “despondent” means and they said it about 4 times.
- Spencer is asking Aria for fashion advice which worries me.
- Spencer of course looks ridiculous at this party and is defending Jason to Allison 2.0.
YOU don’t like my outfit?
- THE U PENN PARTY IS AT NOEL KAHN’S CABIN!! They sounded shocked— so I guess I should be shocked too.
Hey, Brah! I’m a douche.
- THE STAMP!! THE STAMP!!! THE STAMP!! AGHHHHHHHHH!!!! THE F**KING STAMP!! THE STAMP IS BEING USED AT NOEL’S PARTY!!
(I think that’s the reaction the writers wanted)
- Freakin’ Noel Kahn— I knew it! Hot and probably a murderer. He did date Mona. (I wonder if there are conjugal visits in mental hospitals?)
I miss Noel
- Emily is back at home and watching Maya’s website. This should be good for the healing process— totally healthy.
- She’s gently caressing the computer screen and weeping.
So sad.
- Eric Kahn looks exactly like Noel Kahn. Probably the same actor. Tough times in America on the job circuit.
- Everyone is circling around Eric and CeCe (Allison 2.0) while they play a game of ‘Truth’. Exciting.
- Hanna’s mom lays down the info on the blood test to Hanna. Hanna’s mom calls Pastor Ted to have dinner.
- Noel Kahn struts in with non blind bitch Jenna, who should still play the blind card because her outfit is atrocious.
Heeeeey. Love is blind
- Hanna goes to the grille and Caleb is there and says “I’m A”. WHAT THE F**K?!?!?
What’s up.. I’m A
- Caleb was just kidding about the “A” thing and wanted to talk to Hanna. He’s smart. That was kind of romantic. I’d pretend to be a sociopath to get close to Caleb.
- KISS HER CALEB! Or actually— Hanna let Caleb kiss you!
- Aria and Noel are playing a game of truth and Noel keeps asking about teacher relationships and Aria keeps asking about him murdering Emily. Rude on both accounts.
- Not Blind Jenna is sitting there all not blind and being an asshole! I HATE HER!! This is a f**ked up game of Truth, which by the way isn’t a real game.
- Aria called Ezra and Wes answered and Wes is more appropriate dating age for Aria and he’s kind of cute.
Hi. Wes again and totally more age appropriate
- Hanna’s mom is having dinner with Pastor Ted and he’s getting her drunk. Not very Jesus-y of him.
-Clearly Not Blind Jenna and Spencer are playing the game of Truth and this is bullshit because people CAN ALWAYS LIE!!! I mean for God’s sake the name of the show is PRETTY LITTLE LIARS!!
(I have never hated anyone more in my life than Jenna)
- Wes comes and picks up Aria. This isn’t going to go well.
- Caleb and Hanna are passionately fighting and I think these two should just do it! YAYAY! Or kiss passionately. Why isn’t it pouring rain?!?! I love them.
- Can Pastors have sex? If they can he totally want to get it on with Hanna’s Mom.
- Pastor Ted is the make out king. I just grossed myself out.
- Wes, Ezra’s brother, is ‘A’. HE HAS TO BE! ” So he told you about Maggie”. WHO THE F**K IS MAGGIE?!?!? I think Wes just admitted that their mom killed someone named Maggie. MRS. FITZ IS ‘A’!!!
Hi I tell family secrets and my name is Wes
- Emily and Paige are the moodiest lesbians I know. PLL give lesbians a bad name— I’ve never seen such angsty lesbians in my life.
- Aria goes to Ezra and wants to discuss Maggie. WHO THE HELL IS MAGGIE?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON!?! Oh he got someone pregnant while he was in highschool and the situation was handled. Why is this such drama to Aria? I mean, unless Mrs. Fitz killed this girl Maggie, then I don’t see the issue.
- They just won’t stop playing Caleb’s (Tyler Blackburn’s) song.
- Spencer calls Butt Chin Falcon Boy and says she misses him. That Butt Chin is being a little butt head.
- Spencer got into U Penn— let’s hope ‘A’ doesn’t kill her before the fall.
- Black Hooded Figure rented an apartment from a cat lady, so ‘A’ will probably kill and eat the cats.
Whew! At least Spencer got into U Penn and Caleb and Hanna are making out again. That’s all I need.
I believe there are only 3 episodes until the mid-season break and I need that because this show is too much for my nerves.
PS Totally missed crazy ass Mona this week.
Catch ya lata, bitches (just kidding)
-R
Pretty Little Liars: BITCH CRAZY!
Posted on: June 6, 2012
Of course we all know Mona is a crazy bitch….
….and shockingly there is another “A” running around. OH GREAT! THE MADNESS NEVER ENDS!
-Rihanna ruins everything for me. Even Pretty Little Liars. I don’t like that her song is playing at the top of the episode.
OMG REMEMBER MYA IS DEAD!!!
dead
-The girls had a great summer; Spencer taking college courses, Aria is now Tyler Shields (a photographer if that obscure joke went over your head), Hanna is still a moron and my favorite and Emily built houses and developed a drinking problem.
I just did a keg stand and am upset about it
-OH NO THE PHONE GOES OFF! “Show me your boobs- A” <— funny “A”.
-Emily really does have a drinking problem and is super sad that Maya is dead. She didn’t get over that during the summer? Weird.
-Why is it always stormy in Rosewood?
-Emily disapperared because she’s a drunk and is standing over Ali’s grave with a shovel BUUUUUUUUUT the grave has already been dug up. WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS TOWN?!?!
Ali’s gone.
-Someone used Spenc’s phone to call Emily. IT’S A SET UP! <– Spencer said that.. I don’t know what that means.
*gasp* a set up!
-Emily wears lesbian plaid now.
It’s because I’m drunk
Is Caleb coming back? I miss him and his hair.
Miss you, boo!
-Nerdy Lucas apparently had anorexia over the summer because he now is tiny and resembles a mouse.
I’m a killer now!
-I’m already dying to know who the new “A” is!
-It’s 10 mins in to the premiere episode and the girls are pretty and lying… GOD THIS TITLE SPEAKS THE TRUTH!
-Oh Aria is still with Ezra and they are celebrating their one year anniversary. Remember the bathroom scene? Me neither. I’m traumatized that I didn’t fully experience high school like Aria did.
Remember the time I banged you in the bathroom? Good times.
-Hanna got a haircut. I forgot to mention that before.
-Butt Chin Falcon Boy is still in the picture and he is dating Spencer.
-Hanna lied to Spencer about going to see Mona in the psycho hospital.
-MONA LOOKS CRRRAAAZY!
I’m crazy, bitches
-Emily is really mourning the death of Maya. And really has an attitude with her mom.
-Hanna is reading fashion magazines to comatose Mona. Mona is actually being a great actor… EMMY! Hanna shouldn’t get so close to Mona– I’m afraid she’s going to stab her.
-HOT DR. WREN IS BACK!!! His accent may have gotten hotter. And Mona is still crazy.
That’s right, I got hotter.
And I’m still crazy
-BUT CHIN FALCON BOOOOOY!! he spent the summer at the gym and trying to bang Spencer. How do the two of them kiss when their chins are butts? Don’t the butts hit into each other?
Im back!
-Butt Chin is obviously a homo because he’s a teenage boy and just turned down sex.
CALEEEEEBBB! He got hotter this summer and his hair got shiner and more perfect. Love him. So much more.
You’re welcome, America
-Harry Potter joke and Lucas is acting like a goddamn weirdo!
-The girls can’t fund Emily… she’s obviously drinking
Behind the school… duh
-WHY DO THEY GO INTO THE BATHROOM!! THEY ALWAYS HAVE DRAMA/DEATH /GIRL FIGHTS IN THE BATHROOM!
-Black Hooded Figure attacked Aria in the Bathroom
-”BITCH CRAZY!” BHAHAHHAHA BEST LINE OF THE SERIES!
(sorry about the caps lock party)
-”A” is now apparently “unknown”.
- Melissa is a Hastings… but also probably a murderer.
- Aria’s Mom is totally down with her underage daughter banging her teacher and she is getting a divorce from crazy Byron because he doesn’t think is daughter should be able to bang Ezra. This family rocks!
- Butt Chin Falcon boy is just lurking around and enabling Emily’s alcohol problem. Okay actually they are just becoming friends again, but the lingering alcohol problem is my favorite part of this season so far.
-NOT Blind Bitch Jenna (I’ma genius) left town.
Im not blind… told you!
- “What kind of SICK person would do something like that?” *holds hands to head in crazy manner* God this episode is funny. Butt Chin Falcon boy took some comedy improv classes this past summer.
- Spencer of course goes back to “A”‘s lair because she’s f**king crazy.
- Caleb saying the word “intimate” is the hottest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
Is this hat intimate enough for you??
-And Sexy British Doctor Wren calling Hanna is pretty sexy and hot as well.
-Dare I say it?? Caleb has some competition for Hanna and I’s heart.
WHAT? Say it ain’t so!?
- Emily is just talking about how she can’t stop drinking. GO TO REHAB!! Shit just got real. Forget “A” killing people and taking the body… Emily has a drinking problem.
-Spenc is sitting in the lair like a crazy person and talking to “unknown” (“A” 2.0) and the police want to talk to Aria. DOES IT EVER END!!
- Ezra shows up at the po po station and thinks everyone is “passed” him sleeping with an underage girl and now Ezra, Aria and her Mom are going out to dinner. He’s funny.
-Hanna’s still going to visit Mona and Mona is going to break out of her comatose state and stab Hanna. HANNA RUUUUUNNN!!!
- Mona smiles like nothing is wrong. Wow. That is f**king creepy. Oh and she hallucinates Ali in the room—- she’s healthy.
I hallucinate too
-Who is this semi sttractive man in the orange jumpsuit? IS THAT GARRETT?!?! I like his new hair cut. He’s “Unknown”— MYSTERY SOLVED! That’s not true.
Like my new haircut?
-Garrett knows who took the body. Probably Not Blind Bitch Jenna because yeah that’s right BITCH CAN SEE!!
- Emily is running… see’s a car and freaks out and then gets a text “I bet you remember me” <— I don’t remember that, so this is lost on me.
-Emily’s flashbacks mean absolutely nothing to me… this is all shit.
-Hanna’s all “hey ps I’m hanging out with Mona”.
- The girls conclude that Mona had a besties helping her with “A”. I’m gonna try to call her “Double A”. “AA” just put pictures of the girls at the dug up grave all over the car.
“AA” is such an asshole!
” Mona played with dolls… I play with body parts. Game on , bitches -A”
AHHHHHHHHHHH! THIS SHOW!!!
Welcome back to The Revolution and my incoherent recaps that come 24 hour after the fact. It’s even better when you relive it Revolution style, isn’t it?? See ya next week…. unless “AA” kills me because remember… Bitch Crazy!
-R
Pretty Little Liars: Jenna Almost Got Re-Blinded By Fire And Butt Chin Falcon Boy Is Angry Again
Posted on: March 6, 2012
If Butt Chin Falcon boy doesn’t ride (or fly?) into this episode on a motorcycle with Caleb riding shotgun… this episode is dead to me.
- The girls are boy obsessed and like the guy who recognized “Vivianne Westwood” and her coat. They of course, badly lie to Duncan. I wish his name wasn’t Duncan.
-Blind Bitch Jenna gets toted around in a Limo because she had eye surgery now AND BUTT CHIN FALCON BOY IS BACK!! His butt chin is more prominent but so is his icy cold stare back at Spencer. What a douche!
- Mona is super BFF and gets Hanna a new phone since she threw hers into a sink when her Mama was questioning too much.
-Emily gets a text from Maya saying she’s ok and not to tell.
- Butt Chin needs to stop helping out the step sister he used to sleep with. It’s just disgusting and rude, but his new haircut looks great.
- Why is Butt Chin Falcon boy being such a bastard? I don’t understand it…. is he jealous of Spencer’s butt chin? Does he miss his swoop bang?? IS HE “A”!???!!
- Jenna has super scent and could pretty much smell Spencer… I HATE JENNA!!
-Aria is sitting down with Duncan who is not cute up close. He looks like a deformed Ken doll.
-Aria has to break the news to Deformed Ken that Allison is 6 feet under ground and he seems sad about this. He’s not “A”.
-Deformed Ken admits to seeing Allison the weekend she disappeared… maybe he is “A”?? GOD I’M SO CONFUSED!
- “Where there’s smoke, there’s payback A” <— not even the saying dumbass! “A” is a moron.
- The fire dept are hanging out with Jenna and Butt Chin and they are still talking about the night she was blinded! THAT HAPPENED A YEAR AGO! GET OVER IT! YOU’RE BLIND!
-Butt Chin sees Dr. Wren and gets mad for some reason. And dumb Jenna has to introduce herself because she’s obnoxious.
- Jason 2.0 says Maya dropped off Allison’s things… and now she’s missing. Jason 2.0 doesn’t seemed to concerned about this and neither do the people who wrote this episode.
- Aria’s Mom went to go talk to Ezra and lay down the law about how she doesn’t really like Ezra and Aria together.
- Aria’s Mom brings up “A” in a roundabout way to Ezra….. OHHH SNAP!
- Mona wants to punch Jenna in the blind eyes. Me and Mona are slowly becoming best friends.
- Hanna is talking to Butt Chin and now he’s being rude to Hanna. “you need to shut up about my sister!” OH NO HE DIDN’T!
- So, what?? They blinded the bitch on accident… Falcon boy needs to calm his wings down.
-Jason 2.0 can not be “A”… he’s too nice. Mrs. Hasting walks in and it’s super awkward because Spencer and Jason 2.0 are sibling bonding.
-Aria is going to meet Duncan. Let’s hope he doesn’t kill her. Duncan is a pilot. <— the writers got fancy with that character detail.
-ARIA IS A GODDAMN IDIOT AND GETS IN A PLANE WITH DUNCAN! Has she ever seen a movie where the killer crashes the plane he’s flying?? Well, neither have I, but she’s still a moron.
- Duncan is peer pressuring Aria into flying the plane and now he’s talking about Ian.
- Ezra is not taking the job in New Orleans that Aria’s Dad set up for him to get him away from Aria. BOO YAH BYRON!! BOO YAH!
- Spencer and her mom has a conversation and I wasn’t paying attention.
- Hanna comes and tells Spenc about Butt Chin and how he’s a douche bag now.
- The newspaper that Allison’s stuff was wrapped in is highlighted in specific places.. OHHHH CLUES!!
- Hanna goes to get the stuff from Jason 2.0′s porch that Spencer put back and she hears a crash from inside the house and Jenna is bleeding from the eyeball. MY GOD!! Now, I feel bad because Jenna almost got blown up in Jason 2.0′s house.
- Once again… the girls are gonna get blames for shit! This time it’s arson.
- Jenna went to Jason 2.0′s because he texted her and told her to come over. Someone other than me wants to burn Jenna alive.
- “I woke up and couldn’t see”<— umm not shit Jenna… you’re blind.
-Jenna is shocked that Hannah saved her.
- Jason 2.0 says he has no idea why Jenna was in his house. I believe him and his great head of hair.
- Jenna wants to talk to the girls because she thinks the girls sent her the text… OH STOP YOUR CROCODILE TEARS!! Can blind people even cry?? She’s faking it.
- Why did she save you Jenna?? BECAUSE HANNA IS THE NICEST PERSON ON THIS PLANET… and my favorite pretty little liar.
- The creepy music box goes off because “A” is a ghost! AGHHHH!!
And of course the episode ends with Black Hooded Figure being creepy in the dark with a police badge. Oh good.
And just for good measure… I want to make sure you saw this…
Nothing good can come of Black Hooded Figure having a cop badge and nothing good can come from someone almost setting Jenna on fire…. again.
We find out who “A” is really soon… thank god!
-R
I haven’t live-ished blog Pretty Little Liars in quite sometime (and considering you’re reading this the day after….), so just be prepared for a serious caps lock party and lots of Caleb pictures and me pretty much having no clue what’s going on.
(Just thought that might be necessary)
All I remember from last week was Spencer put her Nancy Drew aside and became a drunken whore on a weekday. It was brilliant.
Make out with me??
Oh and I also remember Aria doing the best acting she’s ever done in her life when she’s sobbing in the car because Ezra wants to go party in New Orleans.
And last but not least, let’s not forget Black Hooded Figure now has a gun and seems to have excellent aim. Perfect. I don’t have a picture for this… but trust me.
- Maya ran away and Emily is all pissed because that was her lover. Maya is clearly Black Hooded Figure and is planning on going on a murderous rampage.
I'll kill ya.
-Emily and Hanna keep turning the light on and off in the bedroom and I feel like I might have a seizure.
-Spencer’s sister, Melissa, is telling Spenc about why she’s hanging out with Garrett, which is a giant mistake because Garrett loves blind people.
Our Dad is a man whore.
- Melissa admits to sending threatening texts to Allison right before she died. Melissa will probably give birth to her baby in jail.
-7 minutes in and there’s already not enough Caleb.
Where am I?
- I just want to say I love Hanna’s mom. She’s great. She’s a felon and takes her daughter to father/daughter dances.
- “A” is threatening to kill the girls’ parents. The girls think Melissa is “A”. Spenc is obviously denying this.
You guys, stop.
- Spencer needs to stop with this Nancy Drew shit. She’s out of control. Maybe she’s “A”.?? These Hasting girls are crazy.
- Detective Man wants Hanna’s mom to steal Hanna’s phone. THE JIG IS UP!
Umm I don't think so.
- Shit. Caleb is in some town I can’t spell, so he won’t be in this episode. Waste of an hour.
- OHHH NOOOOO! Hanna Sees her mom talking to Detective Man. DAMN IT!
- I really wish Detective Man’s name wasn’t Wilding. I don’t even know how to spell it.
- Aria’s hot brother is trying to shave. How adorable. I didn’t realize he hit puberty. He DJ’s too? Love him.
Against the grain... or with the grain??
- Aria’s brother lays down some truth on Aria about her relationship with Ezra. BOO YAH! Aria … and then Aria gave a great response of love being worth fighting for…BOO YAH! SCHOOLED! BURN!
- I love how Emily’s Dad is all into her lesbian ways right now.
Thanks, Daddy!
- Nancy Drew’s dad is so into her and wants to hang out with her. All the time. And she’s really into snooping through his crap.
- Oh snap! Locked draw. Murder weapon is obviously in there.
- Spencer is looking at a piece of paper that says “cash” and she’s shocked. I have no idea why… I don’t get it.
I'm not confused... I'm Nancy Drew
- Of course shady ass Melissa catches Spenc snooping and Spencer IS THE WORSE NANCY DREW EVER!!!
-Emily goes to the bus station to ask about Maya… Maya didn’t get on the bus to San Fran. Everyone’s “A”!!!
I'm not "A".
- I don’t understand why Hanna won’t tell her Mom everything. I would be in the fetal position, in tears, telling my mother and father everything. Annnnd Hanna just threw her phone in the soapy water. Shit just got real.
- Why are there always dances at this school? The budget for extra curricular activities at this school is out of control.
This is not Footloose
- OH GAWD! Emily’s Dad is going back to war. Isn’t this in real-time?? Obama ended that shit! “A” is clearly the entire country of Afghanistan.
- Aria’s dad, Byron, is such a nerd.
- I kinda feel bad for nerd Byron. Aria is just laying it on him and being all bitchy because she’s sleeping with an older man.
- Who’s on the motorcycle??!?!? BUTT CHIN FALCON BOY?!?!? WILL WE EVER KNOW?!?!?!
I ride motorcycles now
- Aria tells Hanna’s mom that she sent the police report to Hanna and feeds her some BS story about Hanna being a kleptomaniac. These girls are good liars… dare I say… Pretty Little Liars. BAM! I’m good.
- Spencer’s Daddy-O is very upset because something is missing from his desk drawer… A GUN!! BLACK HOODED FIGURE STOLE THE GUN!!!
-Annnnd Spencer’s Dad has a folder with pictures of Allison in it. Not creepy at all. Totally normal.
- Bryon is being a weirdo… he might be “A”. And Mike (Aria’s brother) is spitting some truth… he might be the hot teenage version of Jesus.
- Mr. Hastings was having a private detective look into Allison’s case. He thinks Melissa had something to do with it. THIS FAMILY IS SO F#@KED UP!
- Melissa is lurking around like a creepy person… SHE’S “A”! She’s stealing guns and killing people MY GOD!
- Hanna’s mom is a genius and knows that Aria is a goddamn liar.
- Soem hot guy see’s Aria and says “Vivian”?? I don’t know what that means? I have no idea.
- BHF gets a newspaper and Maya is on the cover and it says missing girl. IS SHE “A”?? I”M SO CONFUSED!!
“A” will be revealed in 2 episodes?? thank god. I can’t watch this show anymore.
SAY WHAAAT!?!?
It feels good to be back.
-R
AGHHH!!! This is the summer finale and I need this break because it’s too much drama and murder for me. And plus, I want to sleep later on Wednesdays.
A probably killed Dr. Sullivan. Let’s get into it. The girls have a lot going on this week:
-The girls are sitting in the police station all dirty and Garrett says “you are right… they’re guilty”. I hate you Garrett.
-A detective comes in and says “did you miss me??” The girls look shocked, but I have no idea who he is. It’s safe to say I didn’t miss him. (*edit* I think he was the cop that was from season 1 who was a douche)
- He is threatening the girls and saying “things look bad” and that “homicide is a capital offense”. Well, duh! I guess the chicas are now getting charged with Ali’s murder.
- 12 HOURS EARLIER!!! Ohhh they did NOT just Quentin Tarantino this!!! Why are the girls dirty?? Why are they at the police station?? We will find out. It will all be revealed.
- Mya calls Emily and all of a sudden a killer isn’t on the loose and she’s happy. Lesbian puppy love!
-Someone cut Butt Chin Tobey’s break line. AND HE TOTALLY JUST ASKED WHAT HIS AND SPENCER’S BABY WOULD LOOK LIKE!!! Ummm?? A BUTT CHIN!!!
- I’m suddenly very interested if Butt Chin and Nancy Drew have slept together yet. Did that happen??
-CALEB!!!!!! CALEB CALEB CALEB!!!!! I was not expecting him to be back! Oh if it’s possible he got more sexy Native American and more hot. Caleb and Hanna are so perfect.
I'm back
-Ezra is reading at work and his ex-fiance, Jackie, brings him coffee and pretty much wants him back. Aria of course hears this, and that’s good because Ezra is all like “no ho, I love my underage girlfriend”.
- Aria gets a text and it’s a picture of Dr. Sullivan held hostage that says “She’s still alive”. WHAT?!?!? Now, A is a terrorist.
save me
- And now the girls are standing around a box and it says “open or she dies”. A NEEDS TO CALM THE HELL DOWN!!
“you have until 7pm to save her… these are my demands”
And now the box is fully of creepy dolls! <— what is wrong with A??
a little less creepy than these dolls
- GO TO THE POLICE YOU DUMB GIRLS!!!
- Aria has to prove that Jackie plagiarized her paper, Hanna has to stop the wedding, Spencer has to keep Butt Chin safe, Emily doesn’t have to do anything…. YET!
- Cut to girls at the police station.. Aria wants to make a call and Garrett is telling another po po that page 5 is missing from the Alison murder file.
- Aria calls someone and is SOBBING (great acting) and says “I made a terrible mistake and I need you) PLEASE GOD CALL EZRA. I feel like Ezra could save the day on this one.
-Annnnd Quentin Tarantino! Aria goes and shows Jackie her plagiarized paper… Aria could have worn a more professional outfit. She looks like a tiger fighter in that ripped up shirt.
I can ruin lives in outfits like these
-Hanna’s dad comes to see her before the wedding and they are having a nice convo. Let’s get this done with and get on with the chaos.
-Spenc is sitting with Butt Chin and she tells him she lied to him about everything. And they just broke up. A is such a bitch. Now, Spencer is sobbing. THERE ARE SO MANY TEARS IN THIS EPISODE!!!
- Dr. Hot Face (Wren) sees Spenc crying. They should make out… he is sans Butt Chin.
'ello!
- Of course Aria is wearing a ridiculous dress to the wedding. The doorbell rings and Jackie shows up and is acting like a giant bitch. She’s threatening Aria with the idea of exposing them. GOD I WANT TO PUNCH JACKIE IN THE FACE!!!
don't ya just want to punch this face??
- Emily finally got a doll and it says “I’m taking you to her.. go alone” in the creepiest voice you could imagine.
- Spenc is dressed for the wedding and Dr. Hot Face is there. He’s British and doesn’t have a butt hin. HE WINS!
- Dr. Hot Face kisses Spencer. And she’s a little bit taller than him, so it annoys me and I laughed at it.
- If it’s possible Caleb looks hotter in a suit. And his hair isn’t even done properly.
(Caleb obviously gives this show life and substance with his face)
- KATE (step sister of Hanna’s) NEEDS TO BACK UP OFF OF CALEB!!! And he Caleb totally just told her she had “back fat” HAHAHHA!
I don't have back fat!
- Hanna gets a text “She’s about to run out of air”.
- Hanna legit stops the minister and asks to talk to her step-mother. Omg this is so embarrassing and awkward. I can’t even watch. It’s stressing me out. I have agida.
- AGHHHH!!! Hanna is telling step-mom that her dad hooked up with her mom a few weeks ago. OMG HER DAD HATES HER!! AGHHH I CAN’T TAKE THIS!!
-Emily goes into the barn and gets trapped of course. And she’ll probably die from carbon monoxide.
-Butt Chin is at the police station and he’s just shouting he loves Spencer and he said to the cop “I’m not your boy!”.
I ain't cho boy!
- Back to the barn! Emily passed out and someone grabbed her and pulled her out of the barn. Of course she’s hallucinating that she’s with Ali. And then Ali just quoted the theme song “two can only keep a secret if one of them is dead”. And now Ali is making out with Emily. What the hell??
-Emily wakes up and tells the girls she saw Ali. Umm no bitch…. you were hallucinating.
- The Hasting parents are at the po po station and Jason 2.0 shows up and Daddy Hastings is very upset by this. They are arguing.
-Also, Ezy Ezra shows up and Aria’s mom isn’t having any of this. She calls him out for being with Spencer (remember she thinks he’s dating Spencer) and he looks shocked about this!
- Someone walks up to Garett and he says “you shouldn’t be here”. I hope it’s Blind Bitch Jenna.
-The girls find a shovel with coordinates, so they have to dig at the ground and find shit. The girls are digging like maniacs and they are really bad at it… because they are pretty much just screaming.
- AND OH GOD!! the police are there to arrest them. A set them up.
-UGH JENNA!!!! I HATE YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!
- The shovel the girls used was the actual murder weapon.
- Garett gives Jenna page 5 and tells her to burn it and then they admit that they killed Alison. WHAT IS HAPPENING!!
- OMG and freakin’ Dr. Sullivan has never looked more alive in her life…. Black Hooded Figure hands her an envelope and she leaves.
Last line of the show from a black waitress “How you doin’ tonight, pretty eyes? Ya want a piece of pie??”
Sooo Black Hooded Figure is Bradley Cooper??? Awesome!
I take back what I said earlier… these show needs to not go on hiatus because it stresses me out so much and I need a resolution. AGHHHH!!!
-Rocco
What did we learn last week?? THAT JASON 2.0 IS THE CREEPIEST MOFO EVER!!!!!!! But a sexy, creepy mofo, so some girls would give him a pass!
Let’s get into the ridiculous-ness this week:
-Aria tells Emily that Jason 2.0 kissed her on the street. Emily is upset because she doesn’t like boys and because she told Aria about Jason 2.0 having creepy ass pictures.
Whoops!
-Aria is not nearly as disturbed about these pictures as I am and I’m not really sure why.
-Emily is eating cereal with the alphabet. All the letters are “A”. A is so bad ass and works at Kellogs.
-” The weakest link is the easiest to break. Snapping yet?? -A” <— A hates Emily. Clearly A is whoever the town homophobe is.
- Hanna’s mom made a royal wedding joke. Why am I not apart of this family?? We are supposed to be sisters.
-YO! YO! YO!! Aria just came up to Jason 2.0 in school and called him out on the photos. Jason 2.0 just said that his sister Ali took the pictures. I believe him because he’s so cute. That’s kind of believable.
Just trust me
- Jason 2.0 said he was going to frame the photos and give them to Aria as a gift. Shitty gift.
-AND OF COURSE!! Not Blind Bitch Jenna is listening to that whole conversation. Shocking. Blind people are always lurking.
I can see.
- Aria sees Ezra hanging out with the woman who used to be his fiance. Awkward!
- Emily needs a Valium. She wasn’t even happy to get a free massage. And now her locker won’t open and things fell out…. what a stressful day!!!
I have an ulcer.
- YO!!! Emily is going to tell the psychologist all about what’s going on!
- BUTT CHIN FALCON BOY!!!! He returns with a plaid shirt. And he’s helping Spencer pack up dead Ian’s shit. Why they haven’t burned it is beyond me.
I'm baaaaaack. And so is my chin
-Ian’s yearbook said he was in the N.A.T. club which of course isn’t a real club. And Jason 2.0′s model yearbook picture says he was in the N.A.T. club. AND THE COP, GARETT, WAS IN IT TOO!! SECRET SOCIETY!! AGHHHH!!!
I'm in a secret club
- Oh college fair…. I love how they attempt to make this show real to life.
- Ezra just made a sex joke about going to the college he works at with Aria. That’s awkward. It’s ironic that Aria is worried about “outside forces” in their relationship…. when she’s making out with people!!
-Aria just told Ezra that Jason 2.0 kissed her!! WAY TO GO MORON!! And now the ex-fiance is being all bitchy. Knock her out!
-Hanna is trying on bridesmaid dresses. This part isn’t exciting. The step-sister inviting Hanna and Mona to lunch… and they are going because Mona likes her bag or something??? I’m confused.
- Emily is getting a massage… so clearly A is going to try to kill her at the spa. I hope Black Hooded Figure secretly does the massage. That will be funny.
- Spencer is still looking for what N.A.T means… it means something in Latin and the latin saying means “We See All”. AGHH!! SO CREEPY!!!
- Freakin’ Jason 2.0 is always lurking around with Aria and she’s going to let him. She’s dumb…. I hate this little hobbit.
- Now, Hanna and Mona are going to horseback riding with Kate (the step sister) and these bitches are annoying me. Apparently, Mona is a yuppie who speaks French??? Hanna get out of here… this is not fun! I hate horses.
- Ok. Emily massage is back and of course it looks like Black Hooded Figure is doing the massage.
- Aria is all impressed now with “Ali’s” pictures of her. THIS HOBBIT NEEDS TO STOP RIGHT NOW!! But with that being said… I’m not gonna lie, Jason 2.0 is kind of charming.
- Spencer sees Aria with Jason 2.0 and Nancy Drew is PIIIIISSSED!! Spenc goes and sees Ezra to tell him about Aria. And of course Aria’s mom sees Spencer in Ezra’s car. WHAT IS HAPPENING!!???
-Hanna and Mona lost the horses??? Frick and Frack these two.
- Hanna calls Mona out on her need for status increase and finally someone did it.
- AGHHH!!! The massage person came in and said “ready to begin”…. IT WAS BLACK HOODED FIGURE!!! AGHHHHHHHHH!!! “See how easy it is for me to get my hands around your neck?? -A” <—- that’s a brilliant line from A.
- Shocker. Aria is going with Jason 2.0 to see Ali’s box.
- Hanna just let the world know that she hated her and of course the whole horse club heard it because the microphone was on. I don’t see the problem with this… because that’s the truth.
- AGHHH!!! Not Blind Bitch Jenna is sitting in Spencer’s house. WHO LET HER IN THE HOUSE?!?!? Jenna is calling her out on being Nancy Drew and Jenna NEEDS TO STOP BEING SUCH A SUSPICIOUS WENCH!!! Spenc says “tell Garett I say Hi”. BURN!!
I'm Nancy Drew Bitch
- I don’t understand why they don’t just slap Jenna?? She’s blind… bitch can’t see.
- Superman Ezra comes in to save Aria at Jason’s house. And Aria is freakin’ defending Jason. What is her deal??? Ezra wants to tell her parents about them. That will go over well. Jason 2.0 sees Ezra and Aria kissing. I kind of feel bad for the creeper now.
- Jenna sits in Garett’s ugly ass race car and she says something about… “they’ll figure it out if they haven’t already.. it’s time to talk to Jason.” Shit is going down.
- Kate calls Hanna and Kate is a massive bitch! And pretty much just threatened Hanna via mean things. Don’t mess with Hanna!! (ps I miss Caleb)
-Aria’s mom is telling Aria that she saw Spencer and Ezra in the car. Aria’s mom is not down with that relationship so there goes telling your parents Aria.
- Aww Spencer and Aria. BFF 4 LIFE!!! Spencer pretty much just called Aria a hobbit. So, that’s funny.
- Garett and his race car came to see Jason 2.0. Garett wants to make sure “they’re still cool” and Jason doesn’t think it matters “because it’s all over now” but to Garett it “matter more than ever” because he’s a cop.
- Black Hooded Figure is naturally at the psychologists office and probably will kill her.
This was a good episode. I heard that the mid season finale is coming up and I’m sad. Oh and I really miss Caleb. Like so much.
And this picture is just great to sign off with….
-Rocco
You know what happened last week, but just in case you are into drugs… previously on Pretty Little Liars (say that in the “previous on….” voice, so it’s done properly):
Emily is still staying with Hanna and A knows about it. Mike (Aria’ brother) is into breaking and entering and stole not Blind Bitch Jenna’s lamp shade thing. Spencer’s dad probably killed Ali with that hockey stick. James 2.0 is really into Aria and Ezera is not digging it.
TRUST NO ONE!!!!
Now this is what happening in real-time as I watch this 12 hours after it aired:
- Spencer escaped Garrett’s clutches and is with the girls. And they are just recapping the shit that’s going down.
I'm escaping the clutches
she escaped my clutches
- Garrett pulls up in his car looking dodgy as all shit and he just waltzed into Jenna’s house.
- Hanna- “Jenna can’t hear us… she’s blind”. <—– 5 minutes in. Best line already.
- JENNA IS NOT BLIND* AND SHE IS UGLY!! Why is Garrett sleeping with her?? I’m not into this at all. The girls saw this and they are not amused by the sexcapades. (*okay I made that up… but I still believe she isn’t blind)
sexcapades
-Lesbian Emily is cramping and rubbing BenGay on her body. She is clearly going to be a drug addict and why not???
my side hurts
- OH SNAP!! Hanna’s parents slept together (they are divorced) but the next morning his “save the date” for his new marriage came. AWKWARD!!
- That hot British doctor who used to date Melissa knocks on Spencer’s door and he’s a sex pot. What is his name?? I’m into his face. (his name is Wren… I like him)
i don't know why he has a stick
- Hanna sees Caleb doing his “business” and she sees a cop watching him and taking notes. IF CALEB GETS ARRESTED HE WILL GET RAPED IN JAIL!! This can not happen!!! He’s too pretty for jail!
I can't go to jail with a body like this
- Garrett of course is at the high school teaching kids not to text and drive. And of course Spencer acts all suspicious because she’s a shitty Nancy Drew.
I dress better than nancy Drew
- Mike (Aria’ little brother) is having problems in school (fighting), and he can just add that to his breaking and entering, We will now call him Bad Ass Mike.
I like to do B&E's
- Ezra asks Aria if he should be worried about him and James 2.0. And of course she says no… but that means he should be.
the only thing you should be worried about is my 2001 haircut
-Emily’s dad surprises Emily to go see her swim meet. And Emily is going to lose her cool and probably take her developing drug addiction to the next level.
And now I feel bad because Emily probably has the devil baby in her stomach because she is straight up dying in the middle of the hall. She should have taken more pain killers. If you are going to have an addiction, do it right.
- Oh she just has an ulcer. Emily is fine. Ulcer’s heal themselves… just drink some damn milk. I think?? I’m not a doctor.
- AWWW SWEEET!!! Hanna doesn’t want to tell Caleb about the undercover cop watching him because he will run and she doesn’t want to lose him. SAAAAD!! CALEB, PLEASE DON’T GO!!!
- Ulcer smulcer!! I wanted a drug addiction for Emily.
- OMG SPENCER is of course dying to go to the morgue in the hospital, because she’s a little freak. But hottie Dr. Wren stops her.
just add me to the list of hotties
- Blind Bitch Jenna is asking Garrett about Spencer’s questions. “Does she know about Jason??” and “we need to take care of this”…..I don’t want Jason 2.0 to be a killer, but I want Jenna to be a not blind killer, because than I am the smartest person alive.
anyone have a hockey stick???
- Dr. Wren is legit good-looking. I’m a fan, especially of him in his doctor uniform. And he just told Spencer that steroids was found in her blood stream. OMG BLACK HOODED FIGURE IS DRUGGING EMILY!!! AGHH!! Black Hooded Figure is such a bastard… a smart one though.
- Annnnnd Caleb is getting watched by the undercover cop once again. But Hanna is dressed funny and scoops him up.
-And speaking of dressing funny…. Spencer is in a candy stripe-er outfit in the morgue and makes Aria wear one. This is going to end well.
- Mike just breaks into people’s homes because he’s from a broken home. It’s quite poetic actually.
-Hanna told Caleb that the cop is following him… please don’t run away Caleb!!
CALEB IS A GODDAMN DREAM BOAT!!!!!
Caleb!!!
- And of course A is watching Emily in the hospital. Not shocking at all.
- Is Emily’s Dad Native American?? He looks like Pocahontas’ dad.
-I can’t believe Spencer and Aria are breaking into the morgue. These girls are out of their freakin’ minds and I want nothing more than to be a Pretty Little Liar!!!!
They found Ali’s records and cut to Hanna’s mom cleaning the fridge??? Let’s get to those damn morgue records!
- This morgue scene is bugging me out. I don’t like this at all. It pretty much says that the field hockey stick broke her skull and then the bitch was buried alive. THIS SHOW IS SICK!! WHO WROTE THIS?!?!??! ABC Family needs it’s head examined.
- Hanna just goes up to the cop and screams at him for spying on Caleb… ummm how about you don’t do that?? That doesn’t sound like a good idea.
- And of course Spencer just takes the records from the morgue… like it’s no big deal.
- And the cop tailing Caleb was doing it for someone… I’m going to believe his parents wanted to find him. Way to f**k that up Hanna?? Hanna and Caleb should just get married, because that’s the only logical thing to do here.
- Cut to Spencer and Emily looking at the morgue file. AND PAGE 5 IS MISSING!!!! I CAN’T TAKE THIS SHOW!!
OMG where is page 5??
- BLACK HOODED FIGURE WAS JUST LYING IN THE MORGUE AND THAN SAT UP!!! This show is so frightening!!! Why is Black Hooded figure so scary!?
Okay and the show is over. That’s kind of abrupt. I guess BHF took page 5 because something important is on that page and he was tired so he needed a nap and thought the morgue was a cool place to lie down for a tiger snooze. Understandable.
Where was Jason 2.0 this episode?? Killing someone else with a field hockey stick??? ohhh BURN!!
Until next week Pretty Little Liar enthusiasts.
ahhh good times
-Rocco
Pretty Little Liars: Clue, Black Hooded Figure Probably Does Drugs, AND CAPS LOCK PARTY!!
Posted on: July 27, 2011
Just watch the “previously on Pretty Little Liars” because I honestly can’t remember what happens week from week, so these little recaps are straight from heaven.
Shit got real last week… obviously. LET’S GO!!
- The police man Garrett is not in touch with the girls anymore because he’s clearly banging not blind bitch Jenna. And he has money or something that the girls gave him.
I'm not really blind
- “A” left Hanna and Emily a gift basket (because Em is now living with her) and the girls can’t even appreciate a kind gesture from “A”. Rude!!! I mean, true it wasn’t an edible arrangement, but it’s the thought that counts girls!
A's shitty gift basket
- Aria’s brother Mike is such a rebel and moody. I’m fully convinced he’s a murderer now.
I'm a moody teenager. Or a vampire.
- Aria’ mom is letting Aria wear a lace dress….. I think she looks like a whore.
- Emily just made a straight up awesome breakfast. I WANT THAT LESBIAN TO MOVE IN WITH ME!!!
I cook too!
- Annnnnnnd Hanna’s mom just made a “daughter trade” joke. That’s inappropriate. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE HANNA IS THE BEST EVER EVER!!!!
I'm a good daughter. I have the best fashion sense
- OH SNAP CALEB IS BICKERING WITH SOMEONE!!! I just want to make out with him. That’s all I can think about when I see him. And what straightener does he use??? His hair is fabulous.
check out my hair
-And Black Hooded Figure sits very closely to a public school in a child molester car so that’s fine for society. No big deal.
- Why is Mike (Aria’s brother) such a little prick?!?!? Seriously what’s his deal. I can’t deal with his puberty mood swings… just because you’re hot doesn’t mean you can brood around all day. Seriously… I always smile.
-BUTT CHIN TOBY!!!! Spencer goes and visits him at his shitty job clearing brush. He should probably go back to school, because now he’s pretending he’s an architect to Spencer’s dad.
How's my chin??
-Why doesn’t Spencer’s dad have a butt chin???? And Butt Chin Falcon Boy is going to turn out to be gay, right??
- JASON 2.0 IS HANGING OUT WITH ARIA’S MOM!!!!!! He’s muy guapo. I’m into him. I want him and Caleb in a scene together STAT! He’s at the school to talk to someone and Aria’s mom invited him to a party the family is having. Oh and Ezra is coming to that as well.
- ” You probably want to get use to calling him Ezra”- Aria’s Mom
*sigh* – Aria
Read: Ummm mom I call him that in bed, so don’t fret.
that's true
- Okay so Hanna is a really bad singer and Emily is on a lesbian rage of moodiness. I think it’s because her shoulder hurts.. but that’s why they have Bengay! HAH! GET IT?!?!??!
- I don’t know what happened but Emily just said “tag me up later”. WTF does that mean?? I’m gonna use that!!! PLL BRINGS THE JARGON!!!
- Spencer finds Garrett because she’s Encyclopedia Brown, The Box Car Children, and Nancy Drew all rolled into one, plaid , tweed blazer!
This isn't a tweed blazer, Rocco!
- Garrett is fo sho Ian had something to do with Ali’s death… but the girls know better for all the reasons above.
- Aria’s Mom is a super nosy woman, and went to Hanna’s mom to question the “prank” at the fashion show. No wonder the girls are so into investigations… LOOK AT THEIR MOM’S!!!
- And both Hanna and Aria’s mom hate Spencer’s parents. This will go over well.
- Butt Chin is cleaning up the Hasting’s yard (Spencer’s family) and Butt Chin finds a shank, a baton, or some weapon of sorts that says “Hasting’s”. UMMM MURDER WEAPON?!?!?!? PLEASE OH PLEASE LET SPENCER’S DAD BE A KILLER! He’s such a douchebag already!!
- I really hate that Aria’s dad’s name is Byron. For some reason that makes me want to punch him in the arm.
- Ezra and Jason 2.0 come and I suddenly feel like this party is a game of Clue. In the barn, with the Hasting’s shank, A. — that’s my guess.
-Butt Chin Toby is telling Spencer about the what is now a field hockey stick that was buried in the Hasting’s yard. I’m mad it’s not a shank. Anyway, JASON TOOK THE FIELD HOCKEY STICK THAT HE OBVIOUSLY BLUDGEONED ALI TO DEATH WITH!! AGHHHH WHO’S THE MURDERER!!!???
-Flashback… Jason 2.0 tries to hit Ali with the filed hockey stick out of anger. Ummm killer??? Maybe!
- Aria doesn’t want to believe Jason is a murderer because she wants to kiss with him.
- Hanna just asked Emily if something was “a gay thing”. HAHHAHAHH HANNA I LOVE YOU!! <— not a gay thing.
- Caleb comes and makes out with Hanna. Adorable. Did I mention I love him… so so so much??
-Jason and Ezra are talking about cycling. Talk about homo! This game of Clue is getting erotic.
- OH GOD… the police are at Aria’s house! Mike is breaking into houses again. He needs to go to therapy for this problem he has…. this is out of control and now their Clue party is ruined.
- Spencer’s dad has no idea about child labor laws because it’s after dark and Butt Chin is still working. And daddy-o tells Butt Chin to not tell Spencer about it and he’s acting like a shady bastard! And he keeps telling Butt Chin not to tell Spencer about all his creepy-ness! WHAT A POSSIBLE MURDERER!!!!
me and my butt chin are underage!
- Ezra us jealous of Jason and Aria’s impending friendship.
- Raise your hand if you can’t take Chad Lowe seriously as a parent because 1) he’s Chad Lowe and 2) his name is Byron.
*raises hand*
-And raise your hand is you think Mike is adorable.
*raises hand*
- Jason is playing 20 questions with Ezra and he’s asking stupid and obvious questions. He’s bad at this game. They should go back to Clue.
- OH SHIT!! ARIA FINDS THAT STUPID CLAY NIGHT LIGHT SHADE THING IN MIKE’S CLOSET! HE WAS IN JENNA’S HOUSE!!!! AGHHHHHH!!!
-Caleb is so pretty. And he’s so deep. I love when he tells stories. And he was basically in a plot of Fast & Furious before he came to Rosewood, which is just HOT! Paul Walker can suck it!!!
- Spencer’s dad is now burning the hockey stick that Butt Chin found. HE WANTS TO BURN THE EVIDENCE!!!! AGHHHH IS HE THE KILLER?!?!?? MY MIND IS MELTING BECAUSE OF THIS SHOW!!!!
- Spencer is telling Butt Chin that her father thinks she has something to do with Ali’s murder or something like that.
- OH SNAP!! Hanna’s parents are kissing! Pretend that matters.
- Mike tells Aria that he found the blind bitch Jenna lamp shade thing that he got it from Garrett’s apartment! WHAAAAAAAAT?!?!??!?!
- And of course now Spencer is sitting with Garrett in his cop car. OH SHIT!! ARIA JUST TEXTED SPENCER “we can’t trust Garrett. Call me!!” GET OUT OF THE CAR!!!
I may or may not kill you
- ANd now Black Hooded Figure is listening to jazzy blues and injecting some sort of drug. I’m glad we are throwing in drug problems into the mix because Black Hooded Figure isn’t out of his mind enough. What kind of drug was that???
OMG THIS EPISODE WAS GOOOOOOOOOOOD!
See ya next week!
-R
Pretty Little Liars: Caleb Was In A Suit & This Is Some Disturbing Fashion Show
Posted on: July 20, 2011
Watch the recap of what happened last week because I don’t feel like recapping it for you. I can’t do everything for you…. I’m not your mother. (or read THIS)
-Sooooo basically, Ian didn’t kill Alison. Or that’s what A wants us to do.
-OH YESS!! HANNA KISSED CALEB!!!! Best part of last week’s show.
mwah!
- Spencer is Hitler right now and is making the girls fold invitations to the fashion show.
fold this ladies!
-Jason 2.0 is so into Aria and her lack of pink hair. He wants to meet up. What is with Aria and the older dudes?? This should be To Catch A Predator.
- Jason 2.0 has a nice car and even nicer hair. This show is like a L’oreal commercial.
-Jason 2.0 told Aria at the funeral he was relieved he knew for sure he didn’t kill Alison. Now he’s saying he shouldn’t have said that to Aria. He killed her obv.
-Hanna’s parents are flirting and obviously banging. Hanna is not into it.
- BUTT CHIN FALCON BOY RETURNS!!! And he’s pecking at Spencer’s neck with his butt chin and beak. I can’t wait to see their butt chin babies. They might not even have a chin…. but they’ll have loving parents.
excuse my chin
-Spencer’s father is not into have Jason 2.0 back in town. Her dad just said “some yahoo!”. Her dad is from 1954 as well. HE’S A TIME TRAVELER!! Spencer’s dad is probably a killer.
- Emily’s mom missing her husband in Texas. And Emily just tells her to stay in Texas longer. Now, Emily can be a full blown lesbian with her mom gone.
this is ladies night!
-Spencer makes shitty coffee for Aria and Aria is ungrateful. Spencer’s dad was really yelling at Jason 2.0′s mom. And Spencer hates Jason 2.0. And Aria is sticking up for him. That’s what just happened.
- The girls awkwardly have lunch with Alison’s mom. She gave them all dresses that Ali designed. Flashback! WHY DOES ALI HAVE FRIENDS??!?!? She’s such a bitch.
I'm a jerk
- The girls are now forced to wear Ali’s shitty designs in the fashion show. This shit is like Project Runway. Where is Tim Gunn??? MAKE IT WORK!
What ever happened to Andre??
- Aria is all up in Jason 2.0′s grill and she’s obviously into him.
-Hanna is over this whole mess and that’s why me and her will be best friends forever.
im over it
-Mona is a control freak and has just kicked Spencer off the fashion show committee because she was almost in jail. Apparently this is the award Spencer gets for possibly murdering someone and being a suspect.
- I could care less about this Hanna/ Hanna dad storyline. That’s the truth of it. WHERE’S CALEB!?!?!?
here I am!!
-Aria and Jason 2.0 are bonding over looking at pictures of Ali. Jason 2.o has such an attitude. Is he not going to the fashion show now???
-Spencer is really into knee high socks right now.
- When did Butt Chin become the voice of reason?? His chin is like Buddha.
- Spencer’s Dad will probably murder Ali’s mom, Jessica. That’s how I’m seeing this.
- Hanna wants to get wasted. I want Caleb to come swooping in with his perfect hair , a cape, and some alcohol.
- Jason 2.0 is now Sexy Suit Jason 2.0. I don’t care if he’s a killer… I’m into him.
- Caleb should just stand on the runway.
- This is a fashion show from hell. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone died. Plus, I watch America’s Next Top Model and have a much better runway walk than all of these girls. Tyra would yell at them.
- And of course the tribute for Ali gets sabatoged and it’s dramatic and awful and Ali’s mom and brother run out in tears and A is a bastard.
A is such a jerk!
-OMG CALEB IN A FREAKIN’ SUIT!! Is he not he most stunning human being you’ve ever seen??? Breath taking. He’s my new standard for beauty.
can't find caleb in a suit but his charming smile is close enough
- The projector says “my dresses, my games, my rules -A” or something like that. The hot DJ and Jason 2.0 get into an “altercation” and Aria is just really into Jason 2.0.
- Spencer calls out her dad for fighting with Jessica DeLaurentis (Ali’s mom) and Spencer’s dad tells her to stay away from Jason 2.0. Cut to Aria hanging out with him and getting a ride home from him
- AGHHHHH THE CANDLES SPELL OUT A!!!!!!!!
- Black Hooded figure is online shopping and sending a pair of black boots to a place that begins with 5214. 5214 Murder Lane I’m sure.
My conclusion: No enough Caleb with his hair all did and in a suit.
And now for my favorite memory of Caleb (besides the naked shower scene)
