Rocco's Pop Revolution: Seen through the eyes of someone living it

Posts Tagged ‘Trace Cyrus

Liam Hemsworth is still off the market.

It must be the tattoos all over his face because Brenda Song (and her knocked up belly? Is she actually pregnant? I’m still very confused about this all) kicked Trace Cyrus to the curb:

“Brenda and I have decided to go our separate ways,” Cyrus says in a statement. “We split up a couple of months ago. We will continue to focus on our careers. I wish Brenda the best and much success in the future. I hope everyone can respect our privacy about this situation.”

There’s no mention of a baby so there must not be a baby, just like there’s not a double wedding reception at the Cyrus Estate/farm.

And what’s this mention of careers?? I mean, she’s a star on the Suite Life of Zack & Cody … but what the hell does Trace Cyrus do. And do not even say Metro Station.

-Rocco

THE SAGA CONTINUES!!

Remember a month ago when the Disney rumor mill churned out that Brenda Song was pregnant with Trace Cyrus’ baby and then that turned out to be a fat lie?? (HERE and HERE and HERE) <—- apparently I’m obsessed with that made for TV movie because I wrote about it 3 times.

Anyway, now these fools are engaged, so that definitely means there’s a tattooed baby in the womb.

There is no other reason to be engaged at the age of 22 except for the fact that your parents will kill you because you accidentally got pregnant.  Plus, let’s be honest she’s Asian so that means her parents are really pissed off if he didn’t put a ring on it.

-Rocco

Nothing makes me laugh more in the world than a really tall person (like a giant) standing next to a smaller individual (like a midget). Actually, the only way it’s funnier is if the giant is the woman, but in this case the giant is Trace Cyrus, but he kinda looks like a woman so it’s right in the middle of my  ”this is f**king hilarious” and “I can’t believe how funny this is, I can die happy now” scale.

Apparently, Brenda Song is not carrying a Cyrus in her womb, but I’m still skeptical of these two.

1) Why is he so tall?? You can re-read my rant on height between two people above.

2) Is it just his scarecrow, 12-year-old girl giant frame or does she look super pregnant next to him??

These are moments when I wish I knew Miley Cyrus so I could ask her.

-Rocco

Remember when we all thought Brenda Song was carrying the child of creepy Trace Cyrus?? (HERE)

Well, we can all put down the pitchforks because either it was just a rumor set up by the Disney people for publicity or Brenda Song realized what that baby may come out looking like and took care of the situation.

Brenda Song’s Mama had some words for Radar Online about this:

“She’s actually not pregnant,” Mai Song said about her 23-year-old daughter, despite the reports that The Suite Life of Zack & Cody actress was having a baby.
“It’s very upsetting to our family because of what I’m going through and it’s not how we raised her,” her mother said, revealing that she has been undergoing cancer treatment.”

This poor Asian mother just realized her 23-year-old baby girl is having sexual relations when there is no ring on it.

Poor woman.

But in all seriousness… I’m glad there is no spawn happening because I need The Suite Life Of Zack & Cody: On Deck to continue filming… it’s a great show.

-Rocco

WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS WORLD???!! I can’t handle this.

Trace Cyrus, who seriously wakes up and thinks this is a good look…..

Hey ladies!

(He might as well tattoo his nipples. I don’t understand why his conservatism all of a sudden comes in there)

And this adorable Asian girl from Suite Life Of Zack & Cody (awesome show by the way), Brenda Song….

(Fun fact: She played Andrew Garfield’s girlfriend in The Social Network)

….decided to have sex and put a baby in the womb. Ummmm???? Why?

1) Miley Cyrus should be no one’s Aunt because she can’t stop twitpic-ing her side boob.

2) Billy Ray Cyrus  should definitely not be a Grandfather because… well… he’s Billy Ray Cyrus and literally a month ago just blamed his daughter for causing his divorce. Who knows what he’ll blame on this grandkid!

3) Trace Cyrus again looks like THAT! (pictured above) He looks like a tattooed Seabiscuit and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

4) Brenda Song should have taken health class during her Disney schooling because then this wouldn’t even be an issue.

5) Who knew these two were even together?? I hope she’s just a Metro Station groupie. That would make this a better story.

“They are beyond thrilled,” a source tells us. “They are about eight weeks along.”

I don’t even know how to end this eloquently without demanding this be a false alarm! I’m highly disturbed by this fact… it even distracted me from my hatred for her mouth touching Andrew Garfield’s. I mean, if you are going to “whoops! I’m pregnant!” with anyone it’s this guy….

His last name isn’t Cyrus and he has way nicer hair.

Seriously… who is teaching this Disney school???

-Rocco


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