Posts Tagged ‘True Blood’
WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAAAAAAT!?!?!
I thought Ellen Page was a lesbian… but I guess not. No woman can overcome the Skarsonator’s seduction.
They’re doing it right there. He doesn’t even need to take his hands off the wheel. There’s probably a baby in the womb. I hope you ladies reading this are on birth control, because just seeing Alexander Skarsgard in his “sexy mode” can get you pregnant.
But seriously, WHAT?! I honestly thought Ellen Page was gay, which is totally cool (she was a bad ass in Inception and got to kiss Joseph Gordon Levitt, so high five), but just seeing her stand next to Skarsgard totally changes things. If she was into girls… that’s no longer the case.
“This way to my bedroom…. aka Penis Road in Straight Town!” – Skarsgard
That’s just one more article of clothing he would need to take off while seducing the ladies.
Alexander Skarsgard brought his seduction spirit to the True Blood season whatever number it is now premiere and I only can assume every woman in his presence walked away pregnant.
The Swedish DNA is invading America… all thanks to The Skars-o-nator– his eyes and his tie-less ensembles. <— less clothes to take off obviously.
Many people think Anna Paquin is pregnant because she’s with whatever her husband’s name is (Stephen something with a “M”), but really it’s because of Skarsgard. Look how close they’re standing.
When you stand that close to Skars… that’s how baby’s are made.
And a baby lamb. He’s carrying around a baby lamb.
You know how most guys use a puppy, or their responsible best friend’s baby as a chick magnet?? Well, The Skarsonator is so smooth with the ladies he can use a lamb, and then later cook the lamb for some lamb chops after ‘ze sex has been made. Or so I’ve heard.
Anyway, it’s the lamb and the Starburst color suits that aid in the seduction that is Alexander Skarsgard. Good one.
Poor lamb doesn’t know what’s coming.
True Blood premieres sometime soon… I have no idea when, but it’s soon.
I’m pretty sure he just constantly has a clicker in his head counting the women he’s slept with.
That’s how that is.
True Blood begins June 10th and that guy from Law & Order: SVU is in it. I’ve never seen this show in my life, but I assume having Elliot Stabler involved is a big deal. Alexander Skarsgard has some competition when it comes to banging the extras. There’s nothing hotter than a vampire who really hates child molesters.
Alexander Skarsgard is sleeping with women all around the world… and is doing press for Battleship. This night, in particular, he was in LA and wearing a suit so sharp he basically scissor-ed all the females’ clothes off.
Look at his face. He just knows it.
He just knows no one is going to pay to see this movie in theaters.
What did you do this weekend? Probably didn’t get as much as Alexander Skarsgard did at Coachella. Sorry if I just sent the reality of your love life down a spiral of alcohol and Jake Gyllenhaal movies, but it’s a truth you have to face. And don’t worry… I spent my Saturday night eating Skittles and watching a Taylor Swift documentary…. Alexander Skarsgard did not do that.
Anyway, here are pictures of Skars before, after and during his pursuit of the ladies all in his “this shirt looks filty but I really spent $65 on it at an Urban Outfitters” glory.
“ah…. it is all too much for me. All ze ladies!”
I’m pretty sure I have the accuracy down when it comes to his accent.
Posted April 12, 2012on:
How this helps the Skarsonator is beyond me…. but his skills are beyond all of us. Only Alexander Skarsgard can bring his Dad to the Avengers premiere and somehow turn that old man into his wing man.
Do you think his dad fakes a Swedish accent too?
It’s because The Zefron reads Men’s Health and someone from True Blood or David Beckham is always on that magazine cover!
By the way, this is just a fancy “…Looks Like This Now” post; don’t get too excited for a wordy, made up Zac Efron tale. It’s Monday.
I swear on Oprah’s mass control of the human race, that I had no idea David Beckham was ACTUALLY on the cover of that Men’s Health Magazine. But… it just proves that I’m kinda a genius.
I think Efron needs his own category if he’s gonna keep getting hotter and dropping contraception in the face of children. I’ll get on that later.
Posted February 26, 2012on:
You and I both know that’s why the Skars-o-nator is at the Spirit Awards. I don’t even know who or what was nominated at the 2012 Spirit Awards but you and I both know his rape scene that was “totally realistic” from Straw Dogs did not get his fake Swedish ass nominated. And don’t hate, because that’s the truth.
Another truth??? The Skars-mister got some ass last night. He suited up and took down the ladies.
“I vant to have ze sex”.
And yes… I’m pretty confident that’s how he fakes a Swedish accent.
Why he was in a Canadian Tuxedo (I seriously only heard this yesterday hence me using the joke today… I don’t even get it? Do Canadians mix denim often?? If so, I must have been a Canadian child because I loved my denim ensembles) at a toy fair is beyond me… but who cares?? It’s the Skarsonator on the prowl.
I’m glad his man parts seem to be working again, because he was in hiding for months. He must have been waiting to pounce.
I really want a denim shirt.