Posts Tagged ‘US Weekly’
Amanda Bynes strutted around NYC city this weekend after presumably forgetting to put on her eyebrows—hence the polyester scarf look.
This is the best she’s ever looked. And in the meantime, Amanda Bynes is suing US Weekly because they say she’s losing her mind and having a mental breakdown. I mean, obviously that’s a lie.
Yet again, I’m suing @UsWeekly for writing another false story. NOTHING is wrong with me! All Trash mags – contact me personally since you r talking to people I DON’T KNOW then claiming they know me. Please say names of those supposed sources, they sound like you made them up like the crazy person you’re trying to portray me as in your ugly magazine. I’m talking to the ugly Asian editor and all the ugly women I met when I did a shoot with you. I am suing you every week you put up awful photos with a false “I’m crazy” story. You have never contacted me once to find out who I am or what I’m up to. Fuck You..
I can’t wait until Amanda Bynes gets all the money from her lawsuits because girl needs more scarfs.
Jessica, like the majority of females, was sick and tired of being on Weight Watchers so girl just went and got herself knocked up. HERE SHE COMES CHILIS!
I mean, I get it. About 57% of the reason I want to be pregnant at all times is so I can eat cupcakes with a chaser of strawberry milkshakes for every meal. And I wish I was joking. I say these things out loud. Out loud to boys I’m dating.
Why am I not dating whoever Jessica Simpson is engaged to (honestly can’t think of his name— Eric?)?? Because you KNOW that’s the conversation that Jessica and Eric (??) had about her diet vs putting a baby in her womb.
Umm major insult to Bey!!
Though I really want to know why Halle Berry is jealous of Sandra Bullock and if Katy Perry is trying to get Russell Brand back… Kanye West and Kim K’s publicity stunt is on the cover of US Weekly.
But of course a source close to the couple says it’s the real thing:
“It’s not a PR stunt. They’re perfect for each other. He thinks she’s his Beyonce! Now that Kim has gotten over the Kris drama . . . she sees how much Kanye loves her.”
Real until the Keeping Up with the Kardashian cameras stop rolling. Let’s just hope they roll until Kim K pops out a little Kanye and trademarks their baby’s name.
Posted March 9, 2012on:
Small world, huh?
R Pattz is calling Katy Perry because she got a divorce and she’s a hot mess and dyed her hair blue. It’s intervention time for Katy Perry and R Pattz and his jaw are the healing powers she needs.
A source told US Weekly: “Rob has been texting and calling Katy every day. He’s just checking in on her. It’s not romantic at all. They’re friends.
“All Katy’s friends are concerned about how she’s dealing with it. Katy is doing amazing. She is over Russell and feels like she’s been set free. Her hair may be blue, but she isn’t!”
Good one, US Weekly! *high five*
Anyway, Kristen Stewart is unhappy about this. And how can I tell you ask?? Well, it’s not because her smile is gone (that’s never there) it’s because she is now throwing things at Robert Pattinson.
WHOA! Take it easy Chris Brown! When leather whips the skin… that hurts! (And now it sounds like I’m into S&M… someone call Rush Limbaugh).
Kristen Stewart is obviously abusive to R Pattz. Case closed.
PS Thanks to yesjayme for this video!
Posted January 7, 2012on:
I’m pretty sure that’s what they mean by commenting on her divorce to all of a sudden attractive, Russell Brand. (There’s something about a divorced man)
First, What’s with these family members just speaking out?? I’m glad my family is never the “exclusive source”. And yes, US Weekly and InTouch calls my parents all the time to get the scoop on me.
Second, This is what Keith and Mary Hudson had to say, IN THEIR CHURCH, about their daughter, who they still totally love:
“I love my daughter and I will always love her,” Katy’s dad said, according to the NY Post. “Stop being judgmental and critical. Do not close the doors to your loved ones, especially your children.”
“What has taken place in my daughter’s life has opened many opportunities to go in and be with guarded and gated people,” Keith added. “God has given us a platform to go in and meet people – and they like us because we are cool. We are not threatening.”
Cool and not threatening?? You didn’t let your kids eat Lucky Charms!!
And I’m pretty sure the platform they are talking about are Katy’s boobs and her songs about being a lesbian while drunk. True stuff.
So naturally, we’re all calling her Scar Jo from now on, right??
This chick has a lot of demands. First it’s “don’t hack into my naked photos”, then it’s “don’t talk about my failed marriage”, and now she’s dictating what the media calls her. Calm down!
Scar Jo sat down with US Weekly and called people who call her Scar Jo lazy asses who need to learn how to not abbrev things. And to that I say “Scar Jo.. F U!”
“Oh, it’s awful. It’s a laziness. People can’t actually say the whole name? It’s just bizarre. How come Daniel Day-Lewis isn’t subjected to like, ‘DaDay’? So Cate Blanchett is not, like, ‘CaBla’? Why is that? Why do I have to get stuck with a mangled moniker?”
1) If her name was annoying like Scarlett Johansson, and I didn’t have to Google how to spell it every damn time I typed it out, then her full name would work. Get some goddamn vowels in your name honey, and this wouldn’t be an issue!
2) How dare she mention my DaDay!! Daniel Day Lewis is a legend, is playing Abraham Lincoln, and doesn’t take nudie shots…. he deserves a full name.
3) Cate Blanchett can actually act. She needs better examples of people more her caliber… like say?? Lindsay Lohan.
I’m just not that into her full name.
Listen ladies. If you are going to ho it up and sleep with a married celebrity man, just to sell your story to US Weekly for a quick million, at least do it with a damn smile on your face. What kind of mother raised you??
Sara Leal, apparent mistress, is on the cover of US Weekly and she looks like she has a miserable personality. The fact that she even got herself in this situation makes me question her, so again… have some class and put on a smile!
This chick has some great “girl next door” quotes to explain everything and it allows us to really understand her as a human being with feelings:
“He just came up and kissed me,” the Texas native tells Us of Kutcher’s first bold move in the wee hours; minutes later, Leal, Kutcher and another young woman were completely nude and in a hot tub on the balcony.
“I didn’t think it was out of the ordinary,” Leal admits. “I wasn’t self-conscious about getting naked.”
When Kutcher claimed that he was “separated” from wife Moore, 48, Leal tells Us she believed him.
Right from here you know she’s dumb. It’s never ordinary to just get naked with a stranger (especially Ashton Kutcher who at the time looked like Jesus) and they are never really separated. I blame her parents.
The post-coital talk was a little unexpected, she confesses; the duo talked astrology (they’re both Aquarius), religion, love, even politics. “I told him I was a Lutheran from Texas. He said, ‘Oh my gosh! Are you a Republican?’” Leal says.
Democratic-leaning Kutcher quizzed her on “up-and-coming candidates. I said Rick Perry. He asked if I’d vote for him. I said I didn’t know and he laughed. He laughed at pretty much everything I said.”
AND MY GOD SHE’S A REPUBLICAN!!!!
I rest my case.
Posted September 1, 2011on:
That’s it! I’m releasing a sex tape. That’s the lesson in all of this, right??
I have so many comments on this US Weekly cover.. I can’t even put words into cohesive paragraphs. I’m just going to list my beef with it.
1) Did US Weekly photographers come on the honeymoon with them?? I don’t think this picture could be more planned out. Mr. Kim Kardashian isn’t allowed to look at the camera for one (because remember, it’s still all about her) and I’m pretty sure the lighting is perfect. That’s professional lighting.
2) They went to Italy. Hasn’t Italy been through enough with the Jersey Shore cast?? Give the Italians a break (and some free health care to clear up the rash) and send the “happy couple” to Russia or something. The communists could stand for it to burn when they pee a little bit.
3) OMG THEY ARE PROCREATING.
For some reason US Weekly wanted to interview Kellan Lutz (I hope it was about his Justin Timberlake highlighted Jew fro circa 1999) and they asked him the age-old question, “What’s it like being a sex symbol??”
1) Just pretend someone asked you that and answer it out loud. I bet it sounds nothing like what this toll said.
2) I’ve never really considered Kellan Lutz a sex symbol because his hair is awful and he just looks dumb, which is the whole point of this post.
I don’t know if the hair annoys me more, or that shirt. It’s a quandary for the ages.
So, anyway this is how it went down:
Q: What’s it like being a sex symbol?
Kellan Lutz: I thank God for blessing me. I can’t really sing, I can’t play guitar but he gave me a physique, which is nice.
WHO ANSWERS THAT QUESTION LIKE THAT?!?!? One, maybe God should be focusing on the world slowly breaking down more than “blessing” Kellan Lutz. And if he was blessing Lutz, why not grace him with 1/2 a brain??? Two, God exists just to give Kellan Lutz a physique??? We should all kill ourselves now, because the world is falling apart and Kellan Lutz’s physique was God’s final wonder.
I’m never going to let Kellan Lutz live this down.
Babies are freakin’ cute. Though they all look the same to me from the ages of 1 day – 365 days old, you can tell some of them have a little extra oomph!
And clearly Harper Siete (David & Victoria Beckham’s) female baby has it. I can already tell she loves platform shoes and hates people who smile at the camera. Her mother taught her well.
Vogue and US Weekly are probably pissed the Harper Siete debuted her “I already hate the paparazzi” glare via Twitter and Facebook, but baby Siete knows what’s up. Just look at her face… she already doesn’t take crap from the photogs.
She’s ignoring them like it’s her job. She is clearly her mother’s daughter. I can only hope David Beckham teachers her how to kick balls.