Posts Tagged ‘Vanity Fair’
Taylor And I Share The Same Fears
Posted on: March 7, 2013
Before we get into my irrational fears of dying alone in my apartment, let’s discuss Taylor’s hair.
THOSE BANGS!
Forget that she is telling Amy Poehler and Tina Fey that they’re going to hell— you can say whatever you want when those are the bangs covering your forehead. My bangs don’t look like that. I’m obviously going to hell.
Anyway, Taylor Swift’s fear is being alone FOREVER.
“What I worry about is that I never want to end up kind of a self-centred, vain human being. My fears circle around me making the wrong choices and messing this up for myself. I don’t wanna end up being awful and intolerable. Alone. Laying in a marble bathtub by myself, like sad, with a glass of wine just complaining that my life ended up alone because I pushed everyone away because I thought I was too good to hang out with anybody. The typical Hollywood sad cliché of the poor lonely starlet with no one because she put up all these walls and didn’t trust anyone. That’s my fear. And that’s why I live my life the way I live my life because I’d so much rather feel everything than end up like that.”
OMG TAYLOR… ME TOO!
I also fear that I will fall off the step stool in my kitchen, while I’m home alone, and break my neck, and die. And to make that fear even weirder I’m afraid that will happen while I’m naked so my roommates will find me dead. Naked and dead. (And why I’m reaching for something in the top kitchen cabinet while naked is beyond me, but that’s why it’s called an irrational fear people!)
Write a song about that Tay Tay.
But seriously don’t– I already have a pop banger called “Alone, Naked, and Dead (If Only Taylor Swift And I Were Roommates)”.
#1 hit? Yes.
-Rocco
I really can’t defend Taylor Swift on this one. What am I going to say at the sleepover this weekend???
Taylor turned into Anne Hathaway (read: intolerable) while on the cover of Vanity Fair
Thankfully Taylor isn’t on the cover to talk about the Syrian Hostage Ordeal, but not so thankfully Taylor is talking about Tina Fey and Amy Poehler going to hell.
“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people. Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved, that said, ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’”
Kind of rude. Kind of bitchy. Taylor can kind of not take a joke.
I understand that of course the media ran with this and said Taylor said that Tina and Amy have a place in hell which is kind of not what happened, but you can see where the dramatic statement lies.
And then Taylor got really silly and told us all that she only dated two people since 2010.
“….if you want some big revelation, since 2010 I have dated exactly two people.”
Guuuuuurl, that is just not true. I can name Jake Gyllenhaal, Conor Kennedy, Harry Styles, that guy from All American rejects, a barista in Nashville and the guy who cut her bangs, who turned out to be gay but still counts.
See? Not true.
And what’s even better than those two fun facts is when Taylor Swift’s handlers answered questions about Harry Styles instead of Taylor talking about it because she’d rather just write about it on her next album.
Strange? So strange. Please oh please don’t turn into some I have to dislike Taylor— just go make another album that knows my feelings better than I do.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 5 Comments
And then she indirectly called me a “shit eater”, which is rude and obviously untrue.
I can’t decide who looks like they hate their life more; the dog or Kristen Stewart.
Anyway, Kristen doesn’t care if you think she looks horrible in pictures, she doesn’t want you to call her fake, and then she calls us “shit eaters”:
I have been criticized a lot for not looking perfect in every photograph. I get some serious shit about it. I’m not embarrassed about it. I’m proud of it. If I took perfect pictures all the time, the people standing in the room with me, or on the carpet, would think, What an actress! What a faker! That thought embarrasses me so much that I look like shit in half my photos, and I don’t give a fuck. What matters to me is that the people in the room leave and say, ‘She was cool. She had a good time. She was honest.’ I don’t care about the voracious, starving shit eaters who want to turn truth into shit. Not that you can say that in Vanity Fair!”
Well, you just did!
I saw her in many movies and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have to worry about anyone mistaken her for an actress. BOOM!
I wish Robert Pattinson loved her enough to pose in that green polyester suit.
Below is video of Kristen Stewart being super charming and making everyone fall in love with her.
-Rocco
Robert Pattinson Knows The Game I Pull With Kristen Stewart And Her Lack Of Smile
Posted on: June 5, 2012
AHH HE KNOWS! What am I going to do?
Robert Pattinson on the public’s perception of Kristen: “People have decided how they are going to perceive her. No matter how many times she smiles, they’ll put in the one picture where she’s not smiling.”
THE JIG IS UP! HE KNOWS MY PLAN TO SEDUCE HIM (it’s showing pictures of Kristen Stewart looking unhappy as hell so he’ll fall in love with my big, charming smile). Goddamn it!
It’s all over.
Oh look, Kristen Stewart isn’t smiling!
I DID IT AGAIN!
Call me, Rocco.
It’s working.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
So, not only is she able to stare at R Pattz’s jaw line anytime she likes, she’s also really kind to other human beings.
Below is video of Kristen Stewart wishing death upon some photographers. She’s just really great to be around:
She’s like a gentle flower.
At around the 45 second mark you can hear her asking the paparazzi if they are cold and that she hopes they “freeze to death”. 2 things about this:
1) I get it. I wouldn’t want cameras all up in my biznas!, but is that really necessary?? No.
2) It’s not even that cold in Paris right now, so check your iPhone app Stewart… it’s broken. It’s impossible for anyone to freeze in Paris right now. What an idiot.
-Rocco
- In: Lady Gaga
- 7 Comments
Oh. My. God.
She’s been hanging out with Gwyneth Paltrow apparently and sipping on some narcissistic nectar. (*high-five* alliteration)
Sorry for two Lady Gaga posts in a row, but this woman is out of her damn mind.
In the same Vanity Fair interview as below, Lady Gaga also stated that she can’t be ‘cherished by a man’ because she’s too smart. Here are some snippets of her thoughts on the matter:
“I have never felt truly cherished by a lover. I have an inability to know what happiness feels like with a man.”
“I have this effect on people where it starts out good. Then, when I’m in these relationships with people who are also creative, or creative in their own way, what happens is the attraction is initially there and it’s all unicorns and rainbows. And then they hate me.”
They definitely see her closet at this point and they think “my god what have I gotten into. This woman is not above skinning me and wearing me to her next award show”.
“Perhaps it’s a whose-dick-is-bigger contest. If I go to the piano and write a quick song and play it back, they are angry with how fast and effortless it is. That’s who I am, and I don’t apologize for it. But it’s a hideous place to be in when someone that you love has convinced you that you will never be good enough for anyone. I had a man say to me, ‘You will die alone in a house bigger than you know, with all your money and hit records, and you will die alone.’”
Did you read that?? She said men don’t love her because she’s so talented! WHO SAYS THAT?!?! I’m pretty sure people are attracted to talented intelligent people…. not crazy people.
“I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that what intimidates them is not my purse; it’s my mind.”
She is saying these words with a straight face.
I’m pretty sure this is why me and Prince Harry aren’t dating. He’s just intimidated by my huge mind and blog.
-Rocco
Don’t Buy Lady Gaga Any Rings
Posted on: November 29, 2011
- In: Lady Gaga
- 2 Comments
I’ve never seen someone get so upset over a piece of jewelery.
During her interview with Vanity Fair, The Gag was asked about her ex boyfriends and how they always try to get her back. And believe it or not.. it has nothing to do with her love for dead animal flesh on her body….. or that hat.
On being proposed to by exes after breaking up: “How f—in’ romantic, you a–hole. Sure, pop a ring on my finger and make it all better. I can buy myself a f—in’ ring.”
Note to self: Never buy Lady Gaga a friendship ring because she can buy her own goddamn rings.
She probably listens to Destiny Child’s “Independent Woman” a lot.
-Rocco
- In: magazines
- 8 Comments
I’ve never been a huge fan of Johnny Depp in the attraction department. I think he’s a great actor though. I mean, come on!! Have you seen Edward Scissorhands??? I wanted a water-bed and prayed that I’d lose my hands some how and have to get scissors in their place!
That’s what my hair looks like anyway, so the scissors wouldn’t look out-of-place.
Anyway, Johnny Depp is on the cover of Vanity Fair and I think he looks pretty good.
See? If like me, you weren’t a huge fan, now you understand. But wait… then he opens his mouth and equates photo shoots to rape and talks about how he’ll do anything for money.
On despising photo shoots: “You just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped. The whole thing. It feels like a kind of weird—just weird, man…. Whenever you have a photo shoot or something like that, it’s like—you just feel dumb. It’s just so stupid.”
Yes??? I think I understand?? Rape makes you feel dumb and stupid. I hope he has a counselor to talk to after this photo shoot that he HAD to do to promote a movie he was paid MILLIONS to do. <— that brings us to the next comment.
On why he feels compelled to take on as many projects as he can:“Basically, if they’re going to pay me the stupid money right now, I’m going to take it. I have to. I mean, it’s not for me. Do you know what I mean? At this point, it’s for my kids. It’s ridiculous, yeah, yeah. But ultimately is it for me? No. No. It’s for the kids.”
For the kids. That explains the 4th Pirates Of The Caribbean movie.
But seriously… do him and Kristen Stewart hang out and talk about how the media “rapes” them??They probably chat on a message board or something.
Anyway, I’m sure his comments will be overshadowed by the fact he looks good on this cover. Pretty people can say whatever they want.
-Rocco
- In: Tidbits
- 2 Comments
I love when Jennifer Lopez gets divorced because ya just know she’s going to run to a magazine and give an interview. And that’s what Selena Y Los Dinos did. Vanity Fair was the lucky magazine and fortunately, I don’t have a subscription, but it’s already all over the internet.
I’ll sum it up for you: She hates Marc Anthony, kinda likes her kids, but love love loves herself.
Some specifics:
She will get married a lot in her life, so I will always have something to write about:
“That was my biggest dream, and I really worked hard at it. We both did. Sometimes it doesn’t work—and that’s sad. But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I believe in love. It’s still my biggest dream. I am positive—determined to move forward with my life, bring up my babies, and do the best job I can as a mother, entertainer, and person. I now look forward to new challenges. I feel strong.”J Lo loves herself and Gollum is a prick and hated her:
”I’m a hopeless romantic and passionate person when it comes to love. It’s not that I didn’t love myself before. Sometimes we don’t realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself—if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now.”
Not that I’m a Marc Anthony fan… but I don’t know if I could love J Lo. Like, at all!
It’s was all about Gollum and those damn things that fell out of her uterus just to try and save the marriage:
”Like I said, we had the first three years of our marriage just for us. I wasn’t working, it was mainly about him. Then we got pregnant. Then it became about the kids. And then I started working again.”
PS her kids are so freakin’ adorable. I’m glad they didn’t get the Gollum genes.
And for my absolute favorite sound bite from the interview. Seriously. Sit down. It’s that good:
”I think I’m a really great performer. I think I’m a really great actress. I feel confident in those things—that’s a better way to say it. I’m not as gifted a vocalist as some of the girls that are out there, but I know I communicate.”
She isn’t even a good American Idol judge. She should have thrown that delusion in there as well. She should also say she’s really awesome at marriage. I would pay to see the journalists face who was interviewing her when that came out of her mouth. I would have quit my job right there.
I think she should marry Kellan Lutz. There egos would be AWESOME together.
-Rocco
Oh right… because you only go to jail if you kill someone. Tell that to the drug dealers, theives, rapists, kidnappers, and blue collar crime committers who are in jail.
This dumb ass quote is just in time for the Casey Anthony verdict (hey maybe Lindsay Lo can cast herself in this movie) so I thought it was appropriate to post and lighten the mood.
Lindsay also reflected on her stay in jail, where she found herself in close proximity to women who had committed crimes including murder.
“Unless you’re a killer, I don’t see a reason to stay there,” she said of her experience in jail. “I never hurt anyone but myself.”
Ummm I’m pretty sure the point of keeping you behind bars is so you don’t hurt anyone else in the future, because call me crazy but driving while under the influence of alcohol and cocaine seems kind of dangerous. But then again… I’m not from LA and there laws must be different than here in NY. And by “laws” I mean, we have a justice system.
I’m also not Lindsay Lohan so I get in more trouble for jay walking than she does for stealing a necklace and hitting baby carriages with cars.
Oh Hollywood… you are so silly.
–Rocco
