Posts Tagged ‘VMA 2011’
Posted August 30, 2011on:
I don’t even know why I’m bothering to report this, because Lady Gaga NOT having an original idea is not really news. This is what?? The 4th time it’s been reported Gaga is stealing shit from other artists in the past??
Remember when Lady Gaga portrayed Jo Calderone (I use “portrayed” because I think she actually has a penis, but I don’t want to get sued) at the Video Music Awards???
Well, Annie Lennox was known for her gender-bender performances back in 1984. So, basically… she stole this idea too.
So, there’s that.
Good job Lady Gaga… who else can you steal from to get through this year??
I guess there is one difference… Gaga may actually be a dude, but I don’t wanna get sued so you didn’t hear that from me.
Is it weird that I wish for Chris Brown to punch Lindsay Lohan??? Probably. But it doesn’t even have to be in the face…. in the kidney will do just fine. Or maybe her liver, because really… her liver wouldn’t even notice due to the alcohol that has been abusing it since she was 12.
Chris Brown flew around the Video Music Awards like Cirque Du Soleil….
And Lindsay Lohan got some jungle fever.
@ChrisBrown killed it. #MTVVMAs
@chrisbrown wanna meet?
Those are tweets from that freckled drunk pretty much asking Chris Brown out.
REALLY??! Really Lindsay Lohan?? Your life isn’t enough of a joke to the world, so lets throw in a dash of woman beater after you complain that your father has the same hobby???
Though, I’ve never seen someone who needed therapy more… I’d pay for their first date because this is nothing but great material.
Well, Britney wasn’t having any of it.
To end my awesome recap of the MTV Video Music Awards (as far as I can see… I’m sure in an hour I’ll post something else from this award show) I think I’ll bring you some awkward photos of Lady Gaga yearning to be “controversial” and “push the envelope” by making out with Britney Spears as she came to the stage to accept an award.
TOO BAD GA!! Beyonce is giving birth to the second coming of dope-ness (The first coming was obviously me. Duh) so your cross dressing is irrelevant.
Plus, Britney Spears hates you.
When Britney looks together… you know it’s bad.
First off, I still hate Lady Gaga (or Jo Calderone) with such a passion. It’s pretty amazing how a swelling rage builds up inside of me when I see her dressed like a cracked out version of Ray Romano. It’s unsettling to me. It’s unsettling to Brit Brit as well.
Second, this Britney Spears dance tribute was pretty bad ass. I mean, I pretended like I could dance like Britney as a kid and it looked nothing like this, even though in my head it did.
Britney Spears was frightened of Lady Gaga. Straight up frightened…. she almost shaved her head before giving the worst acceptance speech. EVER.
And I can’t even dance like that… and my womb is completely void of anything breathing.
We all know Beyonce is pregnant because she freakin’ came to the Video Music Awards with a bun in the oven as an accessory (People Magazine wasn’t good enough for an announcement) and from that moment on… no one gave a shit who won an award. Beyonce and Jay Z’s kid isn’t even molded into an actual human being yet and it already stole the show.
So, not only did that happen but Beyonce had to get her ass up on stage to show off she’s already a cooler (and much more in shape) mom than any of us will ever be.
And then to shove it in our faces even more, at the very end of the performance Bey dropped the mic (probably broke it and costs MTV a lot of money that the Jersey Shore cast will have to pay for out of their paychecks) and rubbed her belly full of baby.
And then on cue, Jay Z jumped around backstage like “dats my sperm YO!!” and Lady Gaga’s male alter ego ruined it with her cracked out face.
Cut to me hating Lady Gaga more and wishing I had Jay Z’s baby.
Posted August 29, 2011on:
And then shoved it in Selena Gomez’s face.
I know I make fun of J Biebs for looking like a girl sometimes, but if anything proves he is a teenage boy it’s the fact that he named a pet snake “Johnson” and then shoved it in his girlfriend’s face.
Yes. My little angel muffin brought a leg-less reptile to the Video Music Awards and pretty much named it after a sex organ.
You know 5 minutes before that aired someone told him a nickname for the male genitalia is “Johnson” so he thought he’d name his actual snake that because that made him giggle like a little girl.
LOOK AT THAT CANADIAN SERPENT!!!
Didn’t Hurricane Irene frighten us enough???!?!?!
PS If he’s going to be an Angel Muffin he should probably check out the family tree that is the Holy Trinity. Or maybe I should but he confused me with the God and Jesus business.
So, I’ll just quote Mamadukes….
“Who is that?? Whatta asshole!”
But to Nicki Minaj’s defense…. she was sitting behind Kim Kardashian. Now, I’m not saying Kim’s butt smells…. but I’m not saying it doesn’t smell like skank fame whore, which I hear is potent.
Him and his bouffant hair!
I kinda forgot about Bruno Mars because other celebrity men have come and gone into that revolving door, AKA my heart muscle.
Well, last night at the Video Music Awards Bruno Mars sang “Valerie” during the Amy Winehouse tribute (UGH! RIP Amy Winehouse… I still miss ya girl. WHY THE DRUGS!?!?!) and I just wanted to make out with him for those 4 minutes.
Right??? How great was that?!?!?
Bruno Mars is back on my radar. Welcome home baby!
Adele looked great at last night’s MTV Video Music Awards because she is one of the few people who didn’t wear a costume and look like a complete idiot. Or as Mamadukes called them “morons”, “jerks”, “assholes”.
What have we learned???
Adele isn’t an asshole.
I’m about to break it down for you.
My love for Jersey Shore and Pauly D all started just because I wanted my mother to love me more than my sister and I figured if we could share a bond over G.T.L and some guidos, she’d love me more.
Well, she does love me more (mission accomplished HIGH FIVE!) but now I love Pauly D more than my mother.
He’s so handsome. He looked so good last night at the 2011 MTV Video Music Awards in his black suit. So good.
I can’t stop touching Mamaduke’s bobble head doll of Pauly D because I just want to hear him say “There’s a party in Pauly D’s pants!!” one more time before I go back to my own home.